Go Ahead, Drop Some Balls

A friend of mine recently received a significant promotion. While he is excited about his promotion, he is searching for his replacement and, for now, is doing both jobs. When I asked him how it was going, he responded, "just trying to get it all done, without dropping any balls." This conversation reminded me of one I had with one of my clients. She was lamenting the challenges one of her executives has with burnout. In this case, the CEO said, "I wish he would learn to drop some balls; his effort to get everything done is what is causing his burnout!" The' to-do list' can seem endless for those who want to dot every I and cross every T (I admit I am one of them). What I heard this wise CEO saying was, "go ahead, drop some balls," just choose the ones you are going to drop. What if, instead of starting each day with a list of what we are going to do, we...
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How Do You Find Serenity?

Sometimes the demands of one part of our life, work or family, consume us. Sometimes because of a crisis, sometimes because of a spike in workload or children's sports or…, sometimes just because we become depleted. These days, mobile devices link us 24/7 to the office, our bosses, employees, and coworkers. We are, as I heard it said recently, living in time poverty. Now more than ever, it may be necessary to pause, regroup, and allow ourselves to do something counterintuitive; listen to music, go sailing, jogging, practice yoga, make pottery, or go for a walk. Why counterintuitive? Because our responsible self says, stay with it, do the work, finish the project, take care of the sick loved one, etc. We tell ourselves it's selfish to do something for ourselves "at a time like this." If we think of our lives as a three-legged stool….when one leg is gone, it won't balance and falls over. We can't just go back and forth between the...
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The Dog Days of Summer

What if we simply accept August as the time to recharge our batteries, then get started on next year's personal or business strategic plan in September? The “dog days” occurred in late July to the Greeks and Romans, when Sirius appeared to rise just before the sun. They referred to those days as the hottest time of the year, a period that could bring fever or even catastrophe. Today we think of dog days as the time of the year marked by lethargy and often inactivity. Here’s another spin: What if we were simply to accept August as the time to recharge? And then once we charge our batteries, we get a jump-start on what we want, personally and professionally, for next year? All of us possess an inner reservoir of positive energy. It is this positive energy that enables us to move forward. And the human body, like all other energy-powered machines, needs to be charged regularly. Most of us think of recharging...
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Declare Your Independence

One of my favorite books and one I recommend to all my clients is Necessary Endings, by Henry Cloud.  In this book, Cloud uses a metaphor of rose bushes and compares them to our businesses, careers, and lives. He explains that a rose bush cannot support all the buds it creates. The beautiful ones only become so because of pruning. Cloud describes three types of pruning: pruning the good but not great branches, pruning the sick branches, and finally pruning the deadwood. Perhaps the last two types are obvious, albeit sometimes hard to do in life. The first made me pause; really, I need to cut off some good branches for my rose bushes to flourish? As I think about Independence Day, I am noticing the parallel between necessary endings and independence. For some of our forefathers, my guess is the relationship with Great Britain was good but not great. It certainly had benefits to go with the taxes and other challenges. And...
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Boundaries Do Have Consequences

As leaders in the 24×7 culture of the 21st century, we all must set boundaries. And they are different for each of us. Some of us like to stay at the office until the work for the day is complete and separate work time from family or playtime. Some of us want to be connected all the time, handling things as they come up. These folks prefer a more integrated life rather than a separation. Still, others want to be home in the early evening and choose to “catch up” later on when everyone in their family has gone to bed. There is no right or wrong; some of it is generational, some of it is just personal desire. And, what I have noticed, in the years I have been coaching executives, is that regardless of preference, setting boundaries is something many people struggle with. And people with young children struggle the most. People with families often agree to boundaries rather...
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Ending Is Beginning

A couple of weeks ago, I asked the question: How Do You Know When It Is Time To Go? I received so many responses that I was inspired to write this Part II. When a new client begins my You Pivot™ Program, I recommend a couple of books, one of which is Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud. The premise of Dr. Cloud's book is that we must learn to let go if we are to move forward.  Often, the idea of letting go, we internalize as giving up. And, giving up is antithetical to our training. Starting from childhood, we are taught "don't be a quitter." So what gives? The answer says Dr. Cloud is in getting to the pruning moment. Throughout his book, Dr. Cloud shares stories of the relief and success people discover once they choose to let go.  My clients in my You Pivot™ program learn that the pruning moment can only come when they get unstuck. And that getting unstuck is a...
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Set Boundaries

As we come to realize that these "interesting times" are likely to be with us for some time, we are also beginning to accept that we must find ways to adapt. While the form that adapt and accept takes will be different for each of us, one thing is true for all of us; we must focus on what we can control, be mindful of determining what that is, and set boundaries. When I said this to a client recently, he asked me what I meant by boundaries, here is my reply. For those who see ourselves as servant leaders, especially those who are people pleasers, setting boundaries begins with putting ourselves first. It is only by "putting our oxygen mask on first" and following three key steps that we can be in service to others.   In today's world, this begins first with setting aside "me" time. Me time can include exercise, meditation, watching TV, whatever works for us to relax and recharge. Next, it's making time for...
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Just For The Record

Just for the record, we introverts don't like this any more than extroverts.  You are probably asking yourself, where is this coming from? I had a conversation last week with an extroverted friend of mine, during which he said: "I know you introverts are secretly loving this."  People often have the belief that introverts aren't social, want to be alone all the time, etc. etc. this isn't so. While the more introverted folks amongst us, may prefer time alone to time with others, the primary difference between introverts and extroverts is where we draw our energy. Introverts go within; extroverts tend to "think out loud." Another way to say this, introverts tend to need quiet time to recharge more often than extroverts do. All humans are social animals. The mental health toll of this shelter in place isolation may be more significant for introverts because for many introverts in analytical jobs, working at home means working alone, no zoom, no contact. And...
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Everybody Needs A Coach

“Everybody needs a coach. It doesn’t matter whether you are CEO, a basketball player, a tennis player, a gymnast or a bridge player, we all need feedback”  so says Bill Gates & Eric Schmidt in this 1.25min TED Talk. Perhaps a bold statement.  And yet, doesn’t every professional athlete and every famous performer have one?  You may be surprised to learn, so does every successful CEO, whether leading a Fortune 500 company or a privately held company. If you buy into what Bill and Eric are saying, and you are a: Soon-to-Be, or Newly Appointed CEO or Business OwnerCEO or Business Owner Wanting to Up Your Leadership GameCEO or Business Owner Considering an ExitExecutive Pivoting to EntrepreneurshipFormer Executive Considering Re-Entry Or perhaps, you are simply looking for clarity, to define where you are and where you want to be. Wherever you are in your journey, if you want the feedback that Bill and Eric talk about, and the accountability to get to your goals, now...
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The Choice

  The Choice The intellect of man is forced to choose Perfection of the life, or of the work, And if it take the second must refuse A heavenly mansion, raging in the dark. When all that story's finished, what's the news? In luck or out the toil has left its mark: That old perplexity an empty purse, Or the day's vanity, the night's remorse.  William Butler Yeats, 13 June 1865 – 28 January 1939 I came across this poem some time ago and was reminded of it in a recent discussion about "what matters". We often talk about achieving balance; we perceive that it is the stress of modern times. Yet this poem was written in the early 20th century, a reminder that this quest is the human condition, a daily challenge of choice.  Here are the questions that come to mind: Must we choose between success in life and work? Or is it the search for perfection of one or the other that forces the choice? e.g., Albert Einstein was portrayed by his biographers...
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