What Is Your Story?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

As human beings, we are all storytellers. Our lives are filled with experiences, memories, and emotions that shape our unique narratives. 

Each of us has a story to tell, and the story about who we are today may differ from the story we want to write about tomorrow.

Reflecting on our past and present stories is an act of self-awareness that enables us to write our story of tomorrow. It’s about understanding the patterns, themes, and lessons that have emerged from our lives. It’s about recognizing the choices we’ve made, the challenges we’ve faced, and the growth we’ve experienced.

The good news is that we have the power to shape our stories, and we can rewrite the narratives and create new ones that align with our true selves. 

Here are some suggestions to help you explore and understand your story:

  1. Reflect on your past: Take the time to reflect on your past experiences, both positive and negative. What have been the defining moments in your life? What lessons have you learned? How have these experiences shaped your beliefs and values?
  2. Identify your beliefs and values: What do you believe about yourself, others, and the world? What values are important to you? Knowing your beliefs and values can help you understand how you view the world and make decisions.
  3. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses: What are your strengths and weaknesses? What are you proud of? What do you want to improve? Understanding your strengths and weaknesses can help you make choices that align with your abilities and aspirations.
  4. Embrace your uniqueness: What makes you unique? What are your passions, interests, and talents? Embrace your individuality and celebrate what sets you apart from others. Your uniqueness is what makes it your story.
  5. Write your narrative: Once you have gained clarity on your today story, you can create a tomorrow story that aligns with your authentic self. Set new goals, take calculated risks, and pursue a path that resonates with your heart.

So, ask yourself: What is your story? And take the first step towards shaping a story that truly reflects who you are and who you aspire to be.

The Privilege of Choice

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

I frequently ask my clients, What are you willing to give up to get what you want? 

The ‘give up’ may be something we believe. It may be fear (of failing, being wrong), comfort with what we have or know, or it may be tangible, a cost associated with a choice.

When we are talking about giving up something to get what we want, the key questions are these:

  • How much do I want the “something” I say I want?
  • What am I willing to give up to get it?

We live in a world of abundant choices. From the clothes we wear to the career choices we make, we are constantly faced with decisions that shape our lives. While having choices can be a privilege, it can also be a source of fear and anxiety. The fear of making the wrong choice or FOMO can paralyze us and prevent us from taking action.

The fear of making the wrong choice is a common experience that can prevent us from taking risks and pursuing the change we desire. However, we also know that making mistakes and experiencing setbacks is a natural part of growth and learning.

Here are some strategies for navigating the privilege and fear of choice:

  1. Consider what REALLY matters to you: Take the time to reflect on your values, passions, and goals. When you are clear on what matters, you can make choices that align with your authentic self.
  2. Prioritize and simplify: While having choices can be empowering, it can also lead to decision fatigue. To avoid this, prioritize your options and simplify your decision-making process. Consider what’s most important to you, and focus on the choices that align with your priorities.
  3. Take action: Making a choice involves taking a risk, but that doesn’t mean you have to be reckless. Instead, just as you do in business, gather information, weigh your options, consider the potential outcomes, and then take action.

In summary, having choices can be both a privilege and a source of fear. By cultivating self-awareness, prioritizing and simplifying, and taking calculated risks, we can effectively navigate the complex world of life choices.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Should I stay or should I go? This is often the question facing clients participating in my You Pivot™ Program. 

The answer, of course, is it depends. 

A friend of mine called me recently with this exact question. He is a senior executive in his late sixties, planning to work until 70. This week the company offered him and several colleagues an exit package. On the surface, at least, the exit appears optional. Should I stay or should I go, he wonders.

A long-time client of mine, who founded a company 20+ years ago, sold to private equity, and she stayed on. The PE firm is hands-off, but it’s not the same. She created something unique and had fun when it was small. She isn’t having fun now but wonders what she would do instead.

A new client has been a professional manager for many years. Recently he was promoted to a senior manager role which he thought would be exciting and different, yet it feels so much the same. What to do?

These are all today stories. In my experience, the answer to the “should I stay or should I go” question begins with identifying what matters most, and then, once you are clear about what matters, writing your tomorrow story. The writing of the tomorrow story is most helpful in deciding and navigating any transition that results. 

Sometimes the decision is to stay, and the transition is to come to a place of acceptance; sometimes, the decision is to go, and the transition is to navigate to the next destination. 

Walk? Run? Fly? Or Even Crawl…

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

It is sometimes hard to know when to walk, run, fly or even crawl. In our fast-paced world, we strivers tend to default to running. 

My sense is that different circumstances require different speeds, and most of the time, I find it is best to let things unfold at their own pace. 

When I remember to pause BEFORE taking action, I ask myself these questions to determine which pace makes the most sense:

  • If I am feeling a sense of urgency, what is driving it?
  • What will happen if I let others drive the pace rather than me?
  • If I slow down my pace, what benefits or costs will result?
  • If I speed up my pace, what benefits or costs will result?
  • What will happen if I choose to observe rather than act for some time?

No One Is Coming

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Years ago, a friend said this to me. Her comment profoundly impacted me, and when I recently read this line in a book, I called her. After we talked about our memories of that conversation, she asked me if I would write about it, and I agreed.

No one is coming. What does this even mean? 

The great thing about this comment is that you can interpret it in your way. When I heard it the first time from my friend, the message I heard was that no one would fix this for me, and no one was going to rescue me or the situation. It’s up to me to choose to be a victim or choose to take action.

 I was at a career crossroads. My friend happened to call me one day when I was sitting on my back porch, ruminating. I was frustrated about my situation and wanted it to be different. Until my conversation with her, my focus was on how to change my circumstance. Instead of seeing a bigger picture and possible alternatives, I was narrowly focused on finding a solution to what was.

I shared the story with her, and she shared one of her own, and then she flatly stated, “no one is coming.” At first, I was taken aback by her comment, yet her words caused me to pause and evaluate. After some reflection time, I realized she was right, no one was coming, and it was time for me to choose. 

Embarking on a pivot of my own led to creating The You Pivot™ Program, which enabled me to continue my mission of inspiring others toward action so that they can achieve the results that matter to them. 

P.S. Today, whenever I feel frustrated and powerless in a situation, I remember my friend’s words and remind myself, No one is coming.

Reduce Your Choices

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

How often do we pause during a day and ask ourselves, “what was my intention today? What did I want to accomplish?” 

  • What if, instead, discipline became a habit? 
  • What if, instead, we gave ourselves fewer choices each day?
  • What if, instead, we prescribed our day such that we spent more time on action and less on deciding?

According to Tony Schwartz, author of Why You Need to Make Your Life More Automatic, “the more conscious willpower we have to exert each day, the less energy we have leftover to resist our brain’s primitive and powerful pull to instant gratification.”  

Conversely, the more of our key behaviors we can put under the automatic and more efficient control of habit — by building something he calls “Energy Rituals” — the more likely we are to accomplish the things that truly matter to us.

And the fewer decisions we have to make, the more likely we are to make better decisions. This sobering story, Do You Suffer from Decision Fatigue? by John Tierney, drives home both the value and the societal impact of leaders choosing to make fewer choices. 

So how do you get started? Begin by slowing down. Then decide your priorities and make those a daily habit. With the remaining time, reduce your choices. The counterintuitive result is by doing less, we accomplish more. 

From Pandemic to Endemic

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

2021 ended with yet another year of living in a pandemic. As I begin this new year, I’ve been reflecting on one of The Economist’s predictions, “In 2022, we will see Covid 19 move from a pandemic to endemic.”

Over the last two years, we have become so accustomed to making life and business choices based on this pandemic that I wonder, if this prediction is correct, how long will it take for behaviors to change accordingly?

We tend to make choices based on what we know, and it’s convenient to accumulate a bank of knowledge and rely on that to make decisions. What happens, though, when what we know isn’t so anymore?

The changing nature of Covid, what to test, when to mask, what test to rely on, etc., is a reminder, what is so today, may not be so tomorrow.

Can we learn to accept Covid as part of our society, much like other contagious diseases? Can we learn to protect those at risk and share vaccines worldwide while not trying to stop the world in the process?

Can we keep some of the good we learned from these past two years, e.g., we can nurture relationships on Zoom, take precautions to prevent spreading viruses, trust people to work even when we can’t see them working?

And can the lessons of the Covid evolution teach us to pause and evaluate what we are so confident of today that may not be so tomorrow?

“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” Mark Twain

Telling Your Tomorrow Story

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

This week’s Sunday Story is actually a podcast. I am pleased to share my interview with the Northern Trust’s Flexible Advisor hosts Laura Gregg and David Partain. Listen to a 90-second highlight here.

Listen to the complete 30-minute interview here:
Episode 66: Supporting Executive Clients With Their Tomorrow Story — With Elisa Spain

The Ever Elusive Search for Work-Life Balance

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

For many of us, the holy grail of success is achieving “Work-Life- Balance.” It is a topic of frequent discussion in my coaching sessions and is often first on the list when we start working together.

And yet, despite all the discussions, books, and articles, many of us feel this “balance” eludes us. Perhaps, it is because we see it as an either/or – choosing between work and life to achieve balance?

What if, instead, we saw it, as James Michener did, becoming masters in the art of living.

“Masters in the art of living make little distinction
between their work and their play, their
labor and their leisure, their mind and their
body, their information, and their
recreation, their love, and their religion.
They hardly know which is which.
They simply pursue their vision of excellence at
whatever they do, leaving others to
decide whether they are working or playing.
To them, they are always doing both.”

What Are You Willing To Give Up?

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

I frequently ask my clients, What are you willing to give up to get what you want? 

One of my favorite marketing books, admittedly an old one, is Ries and Trout’s 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing. For me, many of these 22 laws are relevant to life as well as marketing. Law #13, The Law of Sacrifice, resonates for me for making life choices: You have to give up something to get something.

What I notice in my conversations is those who are willing to let go of something move forward. They invent the new products, hire the person who will free them up to do what only they can do, take the next job or start the next business. These people are willing to give up something to get what they want.

The ‘give up’ may be something we believe. It may be fear (of failing, being wrong), or simply comfort with what we have or what we know. The ‘give up’ may be tangible, dollars that may end up as a sunk cost, or accepting that a long-term loyal employee will not be the one to take the company forward.

In short, when we are talking about giving up something to get what we want, the key questions are these:

  • How much do I want the “something” I say I want?
  • What am I willing to give up to get it?