Independence Day

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

One of the books I like to recommend to my You Pivot™ clients is Necessary Endings by Henry Cloud. 

In this book, Cloud uses a metaphor of rose bushes and compares them to our businesses, careers, and lives. He explains that a rose bush cannot support all the buds it creates. The beautiful ones only become so because of pruning. 

Cloud describes three types of pruning: pruning the good but not great branches, pruning the sick branches, and finally, pruning the deadwood. Perhaps the last two types are obvious, albeit sometimes hard to do. The first made me pause; really, I need to cut off some good branches for my rose bushes to flourish?

As I think about Independence Day, I notice the parallel between necessary endings and independence. For some of our forefathers, my guess is the relationship with Great Britain was good but not great. It certainly had benefits to go with the taxes and other challenges. And yet, despite the benefits, the founders of our country had the courage to recognize that an ending was necessary, declare their independence, and fight for it.

So, for each of us, the question becomes…

Who or what do we need to declare our independence from (and perhaps fight to summon the courage to do it) so that we can flourish like a well-pruned rose bush?

P.S. Another favorite you might like in the same genre is a book actually titled Independence Day by Steve Lopez.

The Under-Rated Value of Patience

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Patience is not one of my strong suits, so I looked up the definition before writing this story.

“the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset”

As leaders, most of us are action-oriented. Something crosses our desk; we deal with it. If an issue arises with a customer, a vendor, or an employee, we take action. Same with our health. We have an injury or an illness, and we immediately ask, what can I do to “fix” this? How can I expedite the healing? 

And, sometimes, if we let things unfold at their own pace, we achieve a better result. 

What?? Isn’t that avoidance or procrastination, or even laziness? And…

  • Sometimes, that annoying email doesn’t require a response.
  • Sometimes, working to “fix” an ache or pain or a situation causes a new one to “fix” someplace else.
  • Sometimes action is needed, and sometimes doing nothing is simply the best strategy.

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

The Privilege of Choice

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

I frequently ask my clients, What are you willing to give up to get what you want? 

The ‘give up’ may be something we believe. It may be fear (of failing, being wrong), comfort with what we have or know, or it may be tangible, a cost associated with a choice.

When we are talking about giving up something to get what we want, the key questions are these:

  • How much do I want the “something” I say I want?
  • What am I willing to give up to get it?

We live in a world of abundant choices. From the clothes we wear to the career choices we make, we are constantly faced with decisions that shape our lives. While having choices can be a privilege, it can also be a source of fear and anxiety. The fear of making the wrong choice or FOMO can paralyze us and prevent us from taking action.

The fear of making the wrong choice is a common experience that can prevent us from taking risks and pursuing the change we desire. However, we also know that making mistakes and experiencing setbacks is a natural part of growth and learning.

Here are some strategies for navigating the privilege and fear of choice:

  1. Consider what REALLY matters to you: Take the time to reflect on your values, passions, and goals. When you are clear on what matters, you can make choices that align with your authentic self.
  2. Prioritize and simplify: While having choices can be empowering, it can also lead to decision fatigue. To avoid this, prioritize your options and simplify your decision-making process. Consider what’s most important to you, and focus on the choices that align with your priorities.
  3. Take action: Making a choice involves taking a risk, but that doesn’t mean you have to be reckless. Instead, just as you do in business, gather information, weigh your options, consider the potential outcomes, and then take action.

In summary, having choices can be both a privilege and a source of fear. By cultivating self-awareness, prioritizing and simplifying, and taking calculated risks, we can effectively navigate the complex world of life choices.

How Do You Define Professional?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

I am a member of a peer group of other coaches. Each month, one of our members poses a thought question to the group. Recently, he asked, “How do you define professional?”.

As intended, both the question and the answers caused me to pause. The answers included:

  • Respectful and honest
  • Speaking candidly while being kind
  • Keeping my self-awareness higher than my self-confidence
  • It depends on the circumstances; what may be professional in one case may be considered unprofessional in another
  • Showing up and doing your best even when you are tired, stressed, or otherwise dealing with challenges in your life

This last response triggered a memory for me.

Years ago, a woman I knew told me she learned her father had suddenly died just as she was about to go on stage to give a speech. She proudly told me that she put on a smile, went on stage, delivered her speech, and afterward sat down and cried.

I felt unsettled about her choice, and her comments stayed with me.

  • Was this “professional” or something else?
  • When does our desire to “be professional” overtake our responsibility for self-care?
  • How do we recognize the difference and apply the “it depends on the circumstances answer?”

What Do You Do When You Feel Stuck?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

We’ve all been there. We are working on a project and can’t get to completion. Or not to a completion for which we are satisfied The project could be something short-term, an assignment for a client, writing the next blog, or it could be something big, perhaps a life decision.

  • Some of us power through, get to an acceptable answer and move on.
  • Some of us pause, ruminate, beat ourselves up for not getting the “right” answer, or even stop altogether.

Whatever your default modus operandi, I invite you to consider an alternative: meditate on it.

Meditation can be

  • Sitting quietly in the traditional form of meditation for a few minutes today, for several days, weeks, or even more, depending on the scope of the challenge.
  • Scheduling what one of my clients refers to as “library time,” time with yourself to write, think, and plan.
  • Or, it could be reading something that inspires you, going for a walk or going for a run.

Whatever it is for you, next time you get stuck, consider meditating on it.

Are You Making a Pearl?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

I was sitting with a client this week who was feeling unsettled and a bit stuck. Further, she had been feeling this way for some time and was frustrated that she hadn’t figured out what to do about it. 

As I listened to her, knowing that she is an action-oriented person, my intuition was that she wasn’t stuck; rather, she is going through a process of development and change and figuring out her tomorrow story. 

And, then I thought, hmm, that’s what an oyster does when it makes a pearl. 

According to the American Museum of Natural History, a pearl forms within the shell of an oyster when an irritant becomes trapped in the mollusk.

As we discussed this more, she realized that when she felt this way in the past, it led to a pivot. Ah ha. 

We seldom change without a catalyst. And sometimes, that catalyst makes us uncomfortable and becomes an irritant we wish would go away. Yet, when it doesn’t, we might very well be forming a pearl. 

Turbulent Times

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Once again, the financial markets are adding to the uncertainty as we muddle our way through the third year of COVID. At the same time, we read that retail sales outperformed expectations in January while supply chain challenges continue.

What to do? 

As the adage goes, we can’t control what happens around us; we can only control how we respond. 

While we would like to believe we can separate ourselves from what is happening to us, we know that, at least for most of us, that isn’t so. Losses in our life affect our well-being. And, financial losses, business or personal, can impact our sense of well-being and, therefore, our health.

On the flip side, what about when things are consistently good for an extended period of time? Do we become complacent? Life is good, so why not enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. And, when does enjoyment become an adverse health factor?

One of my clients shared the following story with me. 

Each time his business hits a tough cycle, competitors exit, and his company dips. At the same time, his well-being was impacted, feeling depressed and losing weight, yet he continued to focus on health and fitness. Then the company survives and thrives again with new achievements. 

When things are on an upswing, he begins to relax; life feels good, he feels good. He finds himself eating, traveling, enjoying more, and gaining weight. Again, he is mindful of his behavior and begins to focus on health and hygiene.

My sense is his business recovery consistently outperforms his peers because he continues to take care of his mental and physical hygiene when things look their bleakest and when things look their brightest.

I am grateful to him for reminding me that maintaining our mental and physical health is a balancing act that ebbs and flows and to be mindful of the impact of both ups and downs.

Go Ahead, Drop Some Balls

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

A friend of mine recently received a significant promotion. While he is excited about his promotion, he is searching for his replacement and, for now, is doing both jobs. When I asked him how it was going, he responded, “just trying to get it all done, without dropping any balls.”

This conversation reminded me of one I had with one of my clients. She was lamenting the challenges one of her executives has with burnout. In this case, the CEO said, “I wish he would learn to drop some balls; his effort to get everything done is what is causing his burnout!”

The’ to-do list’ can seem endless for those who want to dot every I and cross every T (I admit I am one of them). What I heard this wise CEO saying was, “go ahead, drop some balls,” just choose the ones you are going to drop.

What if, instead of starting each day with a list of what we are going to do, we begin by removing the things we aren’t going to do. Here are some examples to get you started:

  • What if you reviewed email once or twice per day and let everyone know this is your plan?
  • What if you coded your email so that critical emails moved to a priority list, and you responded to these first and removed yourself from cc lists?
  • What if for everything that comes your way, you paused and asked yourself, does this email, call, text, inquiry even require a response? And if it does, is this something only I can do? Or can I delegate it?
  • What if you paused before saying “yes”?

How Do You Find Serenity?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Sometimes the demands of one part of our life, work or family, consume us. Sometimes because of a crisis, sometimes because of a spike in workload or children’s sports or…, sometimes just because we become depleted.

These days, mobile devices link us 24/7 to the office, our bosses, employees, and coworkers. We are, as I heard it said recently, living in time poverty. Now more than ever, it may be necessary to pause, regroup, and allow ourselves to do something counterintuitive; listen to music, go sailing, jogging, practice yoga, make pottery, or go for a walk.

Why counterintuitive? Because our responsible self says, stay with it, do the work, finish the project, take care of the sick loved one, etc. We tell ourselves it’s selfish to do something for ourselves “at a time like this.”

If we think of our lives as a three-legged stool….when one leg is gone, it won’t balance and falls over. We can’t just go back and forth between the pressures of work and family. This where the third leg, a completely different activity, one that is ours alone, comes in.

At the height of World War II, when the pressures were immense, President Roosevelt would escape to his stamp collection for an hour or so, doing something completely different. General George Marshall would ride horseback many mornings to relieve the pressures of building and leading an army of 8 million.

Consider this —

  • What is your third stool leg to balance your life?
  • How often are you trying to balance on only two legs?
  • How might you feel if all three legs were grounded on most days?

The Dog Days of Summer

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

What if we simply accept August as the time to recharge our batteries, then get started on next year’s personal or business strategic plan in September?

The “dog days” occurred in late July to the Greeks and Romans, when Sirius appeared to rise just before the sun. They referred to those days as the hottest time of the year, a period that could bring fever or even catastrophe.

Today we think of dog days as the time of the year marked by lethargy and often inactivity. Here’s another spin: What if we were simply to accept August as the time to recharge? And then once we charge our batteries, we get a jump-start on what we want, personally and professionally, for next year?

All of us possess an inner reservoir of positive energy. It is this positive energy that enables us to move forward. And the human body, like all other energy-powered machines, needs to be charged regularly.

Most of us think of recharging as taking time off. For some, time off means long walks. For others, it means sitting by the beach. Still others look for adventure. All of these methods allow the body to recharge.

And what about recharging the mind? Is it possible to refresh both the mind and the body at the same time? And, like everything else, is there a benefit to being intentional?

For me, recharging the mind comes from learning. Sometimes it’s reading about leaders that inspire me; sometimes, it’s watching a Ted Talk on a topic totally outside what I know and see daily. Taking this journey outside the norm gives me a new perspective and the ability to ask better questions of my clients as they plan for the coming year.

Find your source of inspiration. Become intentional about recharging during these dog days of August.