Go Ahead, Drop Some Balls

A friend of mine recently received a significant promotion. While he is excited about his promotion, he is searching for his replacement and, for now, is doing both jobs. When I asked him how it was going, he responded, “I’m just trying to get it all done without dropping any balls.”

This conversation reminded me of one I had with one of my clients. She was lamenting the challenges one of her executives has with burnout. In this case, the CEO said, “I wish he would learn to drop some balls; his effort to get everything done is causing his burnout!”

The’ to-do list’ can seem endless for those who want to dot every I and cross every T (I admit I am one of them). I heard this wise CEO say, ” Go ahead, drop some balls. Just choose the ones you are going to drop.”

What if, instead of starting each day with a list of what we will do, we begin by removing the things we aren’t going to do? Here are some examples to get you started:

  • What if you reviewed your email once or twice per day and let everyone know that this is your plan?
  •  What if you coded your email so critical emails moved to a priority list, and you responded to these first and removed yourself from cc lists?
  •  What if, for everything that comes your way, you paused and asked yourself, does this email, call, text, or inquiry require a response? And if it does, is this something only I can do? Or can I delegate it?
  •  What if you paused before saying “yes”?

Am I The Only One?

Clients frequently ask me, “Am I the only one?” And, of course, the answer is always no. It doesn’t matter what actions or feelings you fill in at the end of this question; we share the human experience. 

Pivots are hard, and the challenges each of us experiences during life transitions are similar. For late-career transitions, the primary questions are:

  • How do I stay relevant without becoming overcommitted?
  • I want more of a life portfolio, yet I am accustomed to making my professional life the center of my attention.
    • How do I break this habit?
    • I am afraid of becoming bored. What if I do? Will it be too late to go back?  
  • Do I really want a portfolio, or do I want a new center of attention? If the latter, how do I keep myself from becoming consumed in the way I was before? 

These are hard questions, which is why it takes courage to pivot intentionally and why most people don’t. 

We watch professional athletes stay past their prime and participate in the debate about term limits for our congress. Yet, how often do we look inward and debate our own need for term limits? 

Before I created the You Pivot™ Program, I was a leadership coach for many years. During my tenure coaching CEOs and other C-Suite executives, only a fraction chose to go on to something new. Many more kept on keeping on, in some cases “after the thrill was gone.” 

Yet, in my experience, the people who intentionally choose their path are the happiest. As with most change, the scariest part is beginning.

People Are Over Skinny Jeans

I recently bought a pair of the new lightweight wide-leg jeans. When I checked out, I commented to the salesman how comfortable the jeans were and said, “I sure hope they are in style for a while.” He responded, “I think they will be in style for a long time; people are over skinny jeans and heels.”

I’ve been thinking about his comment ever since. For me, it’s a metaphor for the changes people have been choosing since the pandemic. And, his comment is a reminder that it’s not changing back. 

I hear a lot of talk about how, before the pandemic, the baby boomer perspective was the norm; we adapted our personal lives to our business lives. Post-pandemic, Gen Zers have made it clear that work must adapt to their personal lives. 

While on the one hand, some leaders of large companies are pushing for things to go back to the way they were before, at the same time, I am hearing from Boomer and Gen X clients who say they want the same thing the Zers want. 

Part of my You Pivot™ Program includes a section on defining What Matters. These days clients clearly state that What Matters includes prioritizing family, spiritual, and other activities that make for a full life. More than ever before, I am hearing, “Whatever professional endeavor I do next, I want more than the 80-90% work focus I had before.”

Time will tell how this unfolds, but my salesman may be right: most people are over skinny jeans. 

The Ever Elusive Search for Work-Life Balance

For many of us, the holy grail of success is achieving “Work-Life- Balance.” It is a topic of frequent discussion in my coaching sessions and is often first on the list when we start working together.
And yet, despite all the discussions, books, and articles, many of us feel this “balance” eludes us. It may be because we see it as an either/or – choosing between work and life to achieve balance.
What if, instead, we saw it, as James Michener did, becoming masters in the art of living.

“Masters in the art of living make little distinction
between their work and their play, their
labor and their leisure, their mind and their
body, their information, and their
recreation, their love, and their religion.
They hardly know which is which.
They simply pursue their vision of excellence at
whatever they do, leaving others to
decide whether they are working or playing.
To them, they are always doing both.”

Do They Really Like Me? Does It Matter?

Many years ago, Sally Field famously accepted her Oscar, declaring, “You like me,” she said. “You really like me, ” strongly emphasizing the word ” really. ” What she actually said was, “I can’t deny the fact that you like me right now; you like me.” 

We probably misremember or misheard the quote because it isn’t just actors who are motivated by being liked; we all are. Psychologists say this misquote is sticky because it exemplifies a central human need.

And whether we are liked impacts our ability to have long-term, lasting success. Likability is an essential component of EQ, and it impacts the legacy we leave.

Of course, when taken too far, a focus on likeability can also impact our ability to have lasting success. 

Last week, I watched Death of a Salesman for the first time in many years. It is a tragic story about a salesman in the 1940s who believes that likeability is all one needs to succeed. And, not surprisingly, he finds out that it isn’t. 

Yet, we see the importance of likeability play out in business and, most visibly, in politics. 

Here in Chicago, we did not reelect our last mayor because lots of people don’t like her. Contrast that with Mayor “Ritchie” Daley, who served five terms from 1989 to 2011. Mayor Daley was extremely popular. As a result, he could do things people didn’t like (like swoop in and close an airport in the middle of the night, without any authority to do so) because people liked him, even if they didn’t always like what he did. (On side note, the airport closing turned out to be something the citizens of Chicago liked because it became a lovely park and concert venue). And our parks and the overall beauty of the city are part of Mayor Daley’s legacy.

Working with CEOs and C-suite executives, I observe the same phenomenon. Like Sally Field, the leaders who are really liked and respected by their teams get results. They get a pass when they make a mistake, especially when they own it and admit it. And more importantly, they get support when they want something to happen.

As we consider our own leadership, we should ask ourselves, perhaps daily: Even though I may already be respected, what can I do today to hone my EQ skills and increase my likability?

January Reflections – Bold Subtraction

As January draws to a close, and we reflect on the goals we set, perhaps even create a new habit or two, is it also time to reflect on the nature of our goals?

Most of us tend to think in terms of additions.

  • What new thing do we want to do?
  • Where do we want to go?
  • What new accomplishments do we want to achieve?

The challenge with adding and not subtracting is, for most of us, there simply isn’t room. So, before you give up and join the ranks of folks exiting the gym before Valentine’s Day or stop setting goals, as one of my clients recently said, “I put the same things on my goal list every year; it seems silly to bother,” is it time to consider a bold subtraction instead?

Here are some questions that may help answer the bold subtraction question:

  • What did I give only my time, and not my passion, to last year?
  • How does this answer compare to previous years?
  • If my passion/time ratio has declined, what must I do or learn to change this? Do I want to continue to invest the required energy in this endeavor? 
  • If I boldly subtracted this passionless activity from my life, am I willing to go bravely forward not knowing, and instead discovering, what I will replace it with?

The Fresh Start Effect

Temporal landmarks inspire us to reflect on our lives in a big-picture way motivating us to set goals for better behavior. 

Researchers describe this phenomenon as the fresh-start effectAccording to the fresh-start effect, people are likelier to take action toward a goal after temporal landmarks. Psychologists studying the fresh-start effect show that it works because highlighting meaningful occasions creates a clean slate for people to make better decisions. 

This month is one of those important temporal landmarks. A new year, a new beginning, an opportunity to choose:

  • What matters to me? What am I willing to change or stop so that what matters to me gets my attention?
  • What important thing have I been neglecting? Health perhaps?
  • What actions am I willing to take to turn my resolutions into actions and my actions into habits that extend beyond Valentine’s Day?