Negotiation | Elisa K. Spain

Take A Break And Grow Your Company

April 17, 2016April 11, 2016 by Elisa SpainNo Comments

Sometimes when life feels overwhelming, our instinctive reaction is to work more. This is especially true when our personal lives are demanding more of our attention; we feel we have to make up for that time, so as not to fall behind.

And, yet, I wonder if the counterintuitive response is to instead, take a break. Perhaps take more than one break. Go for a walk, go to the gym, meditate, do a few yoga poses, or simply sit quietly and take a few breaths.

And with that clearer mind the break provides, pause and think about what falls within Steven Covey’s four quadrants of time management. Most importantly, ask ourselves, is everything that feels urgent, truly important? Or is it urgent because we have lost our perspective, and are working “off the top”? In short, what is on our plate that can best be ignored, at least for now.

I remember years ago traveling with one of my colleagues. I had my files all spread out and was busy working on the plane. My colleague was sitting a few rows back, eating an apple. At the time, I thought, “well how unproductive she is; this is a great time to catch up”.

I have thought of that scene on the airplane many times in my life. It didn’t take me long to realize she chose the smarter option. The reality – business travel is exhausting; why not arrive refreshed and ready to take on the challenges of the day?

And, even if you aren’t actually traveling to the next truly important event (be it urgent or even better the important, non-urgent), why not approach it with a fresh and healthy mind and body?

The result may very well be the insight and action needed to grow your company.

Let It Rest

March 20, 2016March 18, 2016 by Elisa SpainNo Comments

As leaders, most of us are action oriented. Something crosses our desk, we deal with it. An issue comes up with a customer, a vendor, an employee, we take action. And, sometimes it’s best to simply let it rest.

What?? Isn’t that avoidance or procrastination or fear of confrontation or, or, or?

Sometimes action is needed, and sometimes nothing is needed.
Sometimes, that annoying email doesn’t require a response.
Sometimes, when a negotiation stalls the best tactic is to leave it be, or
If the other side has already done that, let it rest.
Sometimes, doing nothing is simply the best strategy.

Two quick stories from two CEO’s I know:

First, a long term negotiation on a contract has gone on for several years. As an outsider looking in, one might wonder, why not bring this to closure. And, then we learn, it’s been 20 years of negotiation, minimal dollars spent, many thousands at stake. Even if it eventually settles, the present value of the money saved alone justifies the long process.

Another CEO negotiating with a former operating partner, still an owner. Sure would be nice to close that loose end, icky to have a former partner still a voting member. And then we learn, the former partner is in bankruptcy; looks like the CEO is going to pick up those shares at a significantly lower cost.

As Kenny Rogers says so well in the Gambler… “You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away.”

For me it’s a reminder to pause, before I pick up the phone or write that email on the matter I feel an urgency to resolve.

Socrates Was So Wise

March 6, 2016March 4, 2016 by Elisa Spain1 Comment

I have become convinced the Socratic Method is the secret to business success. In short, the answer is in the question. By asking better questions, we enable others to come to their own resolutions. Most of us in business are problem solvers, and often the answer to someone else’s problem or challenge seems obvious to us. Therefore, we rush in with advice, without stopping and asking questions. What I have learned, and continue to remind myself of daily, is that by asking more poignant questions, the resulting answer may not only be better, it may also be different than what we perceived as obvious before we asked. And most important, eureka only comes when a person discovers their own answer.

Following is a quote from one of my CEO members that, to me, captures the essence:

“I had a very interesting life lesson yesterday. Another member was leading and that was probably a little difficult for me to have someone else in charge. Once I accepted my role and decided to listen instead of work hard to offer my opinion, my perception of how I could add value changed drastically. I remember that Elisa said, ‘work to ask questions and not just offer suggestions’. I struggle with that as I always want to solve other people’s problems for them. It’s like counseling. The counselor never seems to tell you your problem; they just keep asking questions until you have the realization and state it yourself. That always bugged me. I now realize that until someone deeply understands their own problem, they will not take action nor will they truly support any action that they do take based on another’s understanding. I think I got more value out of the meeting than any other person in the room. That value was directly linked to not talking”.

We Are Bound By What We Know

February 21, 2016February 19, 2016 by Elisa Spain1 Comment

Ah, the wonder of a child. We hear all the time that all children are creative, all children are artists; and then something happens as adults and we self-select into those who are creative and artistic, and those who are not.

I wonder how much of this is because as adults we are bound by what we know. The more we bring our knowledge and experience to a given circumstance, the more likely we are to miss an opportunity to look with the fresh eyes of a child. On the other hand, knowledge often equals wisdom, the ability to learn from experience and therefore make better choices.

So, how do we know when we are bringing wisdom and when we are bringing limiting beliefs to a given situation? Perhaps these questions can help:

Is what I am about to do something I have done before and if so, is my previous experience relevant?
If it is something new, is my previous experience truly relevant, or is it holding me back?
Am I uncomfortable with taking on something new and therefore looking for knowledge that will justify my discomfort?
What if I suspended judgement and argued for a reason to say yes?
What if I suspended judgement and argued for a reason to say no?

Ah, The Power Of Retrospection

February 7, 2016February 3, 2016 by Elisa SpainNo Comments

As part of the big purge, I had a wonderful realization. Looking back, all that stuff that seemed so important, turns out… really isn’t. If only we, especially as leaders, could see this prospectively.

And, we can. Once again, it is a matter of pausing. Simply stopping and asking the following questions:

Does what I am about to do, need doing? I find this one is particularly important to ask about the stuff that seems urgent, which leads to the second question.
Does what I am about to do, need doing, right now? I find, I must make a case to myself why it’s not urgent or I will just do it. In short, life really is not an emergency.
If it really does need doing, am I the right person to do it? The question isn’t will I do it better, it’s what is the best use of my time. And, if I do delegate it, can I do it with a realistic, rather than a now deadline?

What Does All This Mean, What Will We Do, And How Will We Go About Doing It?

December 20, 2015 by Elisa SpainNo Comments

I’ve decided to end the year with a guest blog from my friend and fellow Vistage Chair, Larry Cassidy. We’ve been having a discussion amongst us Vistage Chairs about the recent tragedies, hate crimes and terrorism and the related impact some members have begun to see in their companies. For me, Larry’s commentary expressed the challenge we face as a nation and caused me to pause. With that in mind, I am making it visible here, offering you some food for thought as you begin the holiday season.

First, a couple of stories and then Larry’s post.

One Chair began this conversation by sharing these stories

One member reported an angry customer screaming in the lobby of her financial services company that the customer service rep he dealt with (second generation Pakistani American) should go back to her home country.

Another member reported, after I asked if he had seen any evidence of workplace intolerance, that he had four Muslim employees in his IT department and he overheard one of the non-IT employees refer to them as the ‘sleeper cell’. He didn’t know what to say or do. But now that I asked the question, he realizes he needs to discuss with his HR director how to find ways to insure there is not a hostile workplace environment.

Larry’s Post

My first newsletter was sent on June 27, 2011, some 230 newsletters ago. And for those 4½ years I have stepped carefully around politics. Today I will take edge up to that tricky topic, not so much traditional politics, but rather on who we are, and what price we 322-million folks are willing to pay to be that.

We have undergone many serious gut-shots in the past several years, Paris and San Bernardino being the latest. As I ponder these tragedies, and before releasing this newsletter into the wild, my thoughts go to three big ideas:

becoming the best version of ourselves,
the hard price we are (or are not) willing to pay to get and stay there,
our leadership as a part of all that.

There are many pieces to that, and we each have our own ideas. I will share mine below. You may disagree. But I do so because it is a conversation we cannot avoid, and all voices are required.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”

The Statue of Liberty, dedicated 10/28/1886

Terrorism is a stark and frightening example of what others can do to us. Paris. San Bernardino. Too much, too often. And leadership is what we choose to do about it, and how we go about doing it.

Once again, we confront events with which we have not contended (remember: Pearl Harbor, the Cuban Missile Crisis, 9/11), and while such moments spawn anger and paranoia, they also summon our better angels. Which is one more good reason we would rather live here than anywhere else in the world, our flaws notwithstanding.

As I now savor almost-eight decades, I wonder if our fears might extinguish the Statue of Liberty’s torch, our shining beacon of freedom. And I question whether my opportunity to be born here, to live here, and to experience this thing called America, could have happened had such fear and paranoia won the early days of our history.

A bit dramatic? Go back a century-or-more, and we Irish were potato-heads, lazy scum. Italians were looked on as not much better. Jews? Forget it. African Americans, which was hardly what they were called? Slaves at best. Nor does that count Japanese-Americans or German-Americans in WWII. Pretty lucky for we shoddy Irish (and me) that we got past much of that.

Yes, we each have a right to feel, to fear, to embrace and to be safe. But before we pounce, look around. Soak it in. The ethnic, religious and nationalistic mess we behold is what has combined to make us great. It is our grand experiment, a palate on which each color and belief and ancestry is a part. It is us. So, what will it be ten, or fifty, or a hundred years from now?

Once again, we are in the process of deciding. In every business, classroom, sanctuary, gathering and discussion. And we are the leaders: the parents, coaches, elders, teachers, business executives. Make no mistake, we are deciding, we are leading and we are teaching.

So what will we do, and how will we go about doing it?
Which parts of what made this country great will we keep, and which will we discard?
Will we mirror or will we reject what those who threaten us espouse?
And once we decide, once we move on, will we have found our way to safety while continuing to lift our lamp beside the golden door?

This is a big deal. And we are all right in the middle of it.

Larry Cassidy

P.S. This is the last post this year, see you back here in January.

Are Your Expectations Too High Or Too Low?

December 13, 2015 by Elisa SpainNo Comments

How do you know?

Sometimes we set our sights too low and don’t achieve as much as we can.
Sometimes we expect too much from ourselves and constantly feel as though we don’t measure up.
Sometimes we expect too much from our team or our key vendors and they feel as though they can’t please us.
Sometimes we expect too little or don’t ask for what we really want from our employees or our vendors and we end up taking on too much ourselves instead.

How do we know which it is? For me the litmus test is this…

How often are our expectations of ourselves or others met?
What does our gut say about that percentage? Too high? Too low?
What then is the next step to get our expectations in line with what is possible?

Right People At The Right Time…

November 22, 2015 by Elisa SpainNo Comments

Most of the clients I have worked with over the years founded their businesses; same is true for the members of my Vistage CEO group. These folks often join Vistage because they want to grow and build a professionally managed business. They are grateful and loyal to the folks that helped them get started. And, sometimes these two objectives are at odds.

The CEO knows in his head that change won’t happen without changing some key players. (After all, if the folks that are there were going to get you where you wanted to be, you would be there already). And, in his heart he is torn.

As humans, when confronted with substantial change, particularly within a structure, the mind tends to go immediately to “what am I going to lose?” Often there is much to gain, occasionally something to lose, but this is our mind at work, much less than the process at work. The question becomes, how do we overcome these fears and realize that forward progress only comes with transformation?

Here are some questions to consider, as you think about your own evolution:

Owner: Am I in the right role in the organization? Am I best suited to be the investor, the operator, or both?
Owner: The age old question, are the right people in the right seats on the bus to get to the destination I want?
Owner or Key Executive: Am I spending most of my time do the things that are in my genius?
Owner or Key Executive: Am I performing at the same level (or higher) today as I was when I began? If not, what change could I make so that I am?
Owner or Key Executive: Am I making decisions out of loyalty rather than what is best for the organization? If so, what is the cost? And what really is loyalty?… Are we doing someone (or ourselves) a favor keeping them (staying) in a role that we are not excellent at? How might the organization (or I) benefit by moving on if I am not performing?

As Time Goes By….

November 15, 2015 by Elisa SpainNo Comments

Lots of talk these days about the increasing role the millennials are playing in the workplace. At the same time, many boomers remain in the workforce. The result: younger people managing folks older than them.

Millennials tell me they often feel uncomfortable in these situations. Today, I was talking with a young man taking over a family business. He shared with me that while he is excited about the opportunity, he is wondering why none of the “seasoned guys”, who have been with his father a long time, wanted to buy the business from his Dad. He is also wondering how they feel about him being their boss.

While the dynamics of a family business are different, I hear the same story from millennials in all types of organizations. And, I remember when I too was in a similar situation. I was 24 and became the manager of 3 divisions of a large company. Two of the direct managers were older than me and one was my age. Turned out the most challenging one, as you may have guessed, was with Nevin, the one my age. He wanted the job I had.

Here is what I learned from this experience. It is up to both the manager and the now junior employee to make it work. The best situation for me was with Rita, a graceful woman 30 years older than me. Rita didn’t want my job; she loved the job she had. And, while I was her boss, I learned a ton from her. She was gracious in sharing her wisdom and I credit her with helping me become a better leader. Nevin was a bigger challenge; we had some rough waters for some time. What we learned was there was a place for both of us and we could learn from each other. The result, we remained friends for many years to come. When I moved on, he took over the role I had, and years later, I introduced him to a friend who helped him launch a writing and speaking career he had dreamed of.

If this resonates with you, whether you are the boss in this situation or the older or peer subordinate, what are you doing to make the extra effort to make this work for both of you?

How Do You Keep Your Mojo?

October 18, 2015 by Elisa SpainNo Comments

Sometimes the demands of one part of our life, work or family, consume us. Sometimes because of a crisis, sometimes because of a spike in workload or children’s sports or…, sometimes just because we become consumed.

These days, mobile devices link us 24/7 to the office, our bosses, our employees and coworkers. We are, as I heard it said recently, living in time poverty. It may be necessary, now more than ever, to pause, regroup and allow ourselves to do something counterintuitive; listen to music, go sailing, jogging, practice yoga, make pottery or simply go for a walk.

Why counterintuitive? Because our responsible self says, stay with it, do the work, finish the project, take care of the sick loved one, etc. We tell ourselves its selfish to do something for ourselves “at a time like this”.

If we think of our lives as a three legged stool….when one leg is gone, it won’t balance and falls over. We can’t take the pressures of work and family and go back and forth between them alone….that’s where the third leg, a completely different activity that is our individual interest alone, comes in.

At the height of World War 2 when the pressures were immense, President Roosevelt would escape to his stamp collection for an hour or so, doing something completely different. General George Marshall would ride horseback many mornings to relieve the pressures of his job of building and leading an Army of 8 million men and women.

Think about it—

What is your third stool leg to balance your life?
How often are you trying to balance on only 2 legs?
How might you feel if all three legs were grounded on most days?