Stuck In The Middle

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

As time marches on in this COVID-19 world, life is becoming more challenging. While we are all becoming accustomed to the “protocol,” many, perhaps most, of us don’t want to become accustomed to “it.” 

The masks, the temperature checks, the exposure questions, the monitoring, all of that seems almost ordinary by now.  

And at the same time, the emotional toll this has taken is staggering. 

  • Last week one of my clients summed it up well when he said, “for my own sanity, I have to believe and act as though this is temporary.”  
  • A friend of mine who is a psychotherapist, and was planning to retire, told me, “if I wanted to work 24×7, I could;” her phone doesn’t stop ringing.

The most telling sign of how tired we all are of the loss of life as we knew it, is the loss of humor. Before, when things didn’t go as we expected, or even when egregious things happened, we usually found a way to laugh. No more. 

Everyone is humorless for different reasons, same storm, different boats. For some, it is personal, losing a loved one, even if not from the virus, and not being able to mourn in the usual way; or not being allowed to visit an ill friend or relative in the hospital. For others, the pain may be economic, losing all or a portion of the family income or business income. Finally, there are some for which the loss is one of freedom and leisure. Bottomline worldwide, or at least what I see in my tiny part of the world, is we all feel a sense of loss. 

In the beginning, we banded together, much as we did after 9/11. I remember traveling to Europe soon after 9/11 and feeling the warmth and support from everyone we met. I saw the same amongst colleagues, families, and friends back in March and April. Everyone showed their support with Zoom cocktail hours, and the like. We frequently connected with friends and family worldwide, and it felt wonderful. A hidden benefit, we said, of the pandemic. 

Now that we are several months into this, Zoom has become a grind, we are on it all day, we crave a break, some real connection, and it feels elusive. Some choose to create the connection anyway; the risk feels worth it, “my mental health is as important as my physical health,” they say. Others choose to continue to isolate and protect their physical health. 

Most of us say we respect each person’s right to be themselves and choose that which gives them comfort. Yet, we can be quick to judge when someone in our inner circle makes a different choice than we do. 

What to do? 

Frankly, I don’t have the answers; I am challenged with this myself. What I do know is it has become clear that this is a marathon, not a sprint. 

Each day, I remind myself to find opportunities to laugh and be grateful, take my judgments lightly, and look for opportunities to be in service to others. I don’t succeed every day, and I plan to keep trying.

Leaders Are The Unsung Heroes

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

As chair of a CEO Peer Advisory Board, I am getting to see first hand the courage, dedication, and determination of leaders during this pandemic. I am humbled and inspired.

Leaders of essential businesses all over the world are working hard to keep their employees safe while serving their customers at the same time. Not one of these individuals, trained for this or frankly signed up for this, and yet here they are doing what they know they must.  

Each day, these men and women are on the front lines making the hard decisions to maintain that delicate balance between safety and production. 

Each day, these men and women must stay current on the latest developments. Each day, they must adapt to whatever changed from yesterday.  

  • It’s the outgoing CEO of the public company, who could easily call it quits and instead visits factories; 
  • The CEO of the privately held company that quickly pivoted to make safety products thereby keeping the business viable and enabling all employees to keep their jobs;
  • The mayor of your local community who gets paid only a service honorarium, and yet works countless hours to serve, 

All of these leaders deserve our thanks, appreciation, and patience as they navigate this storm. They are the unsung heroes of these times.

Let’s work together. You can learn more about my leadership and transition coaching as well as my peer advisory boards here.

WE ARE NOT ALL IN THE SAME BOAT

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

A friend of mine shared this essay in his weekly letter. It resonated for me, so I am passing it on to you.

I have heard that we are all in the same boat, but it’s not like that. We are in the same storm, but not in the same boat.  Your ship could be shipwrecked and mine might not.  Or vice versa. 

For some, quarantine is optimal.  A moment of reflection, of re-connection, easy in flip flops with a cocktail or coffee.  For others, this is a desperate financial and family crisis.  Some who live alone are facing endless loneliness. While for others it is peace, rest, and time with their mother, father, sons & daughters. 

With the $600 weekly increase in unemployment, some are bringing in more money than they were working.  Others are working more hours for less money due to pay cuts or loss in sales.  Some families of four just received $3,400 from the stimulus while other families of four saw $000.  Some were concerned about getting a special candy for Easter while others were concerned that there would not be enough bread, milk, and eggs for the weekend.

Some want to go back to work because they don’t qualify for unemployment and are running out of money.  Others want to punish those who break the quarantine.  Some are home spending 2-3 hours each day helping their child with online schooling while others are spending 2-3 hours each day trying to help educate their children on top of a 10-12-hour workday. 

Some have experienced the near death because of Covid-19, some have already lost someone, and some are not sure if their loved ones are going to make it. Others don’t believe this is a big deal.  While some have faith in God and expect miracles during this 2020, others say the worst is yet to come. 

So, friends, we are not all in the same boat.  We are each on different ships during this storm, experiencing a very different journey.  We are going through a period when our perceptions and needs are very different.  Each of us will emerge from this storm in our own way.  And for all, it will be important to see beyond what we see at first glance.  Not just looking, but seeing and understanding.  

Unknown Author

Gratitude For The Light

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Dear Readers,

As most of you know, I lead a CEO Advisory Board in affiliation with Vistage International. My clients meet monthly, and before each meeting, we share an update of our lives since we last met. Typically, we give a brief overview of significant events in our business and personal lives.

With nothing typical at this time, I wrote the following letter instead of my usual update. I am sharing this with you in the spirit of finding common ground in our humanity.

“As I read over last month’s updates, I am stunned by how much has changed since then. 

First, let me say how I continue to be in awe of the leadership demonstrated by each and every one of you. From the leader who is navigating staying open and supporting the building of critical health care facilities while managing fear when an employee got sick; to another pivoting to make materials to keep grocery store employees safe. 

Those in the food business are scrambling to keep our food sources flowing; others are working to meet our infrastructure needs, and some are adapting technology to kill the virus in hospital rooms and other high-risk environments. 

Every one of you is working to keep your essential businesses operating while keeping your employees safe. And at the same time, being that steady hand when it would be so easy to succumb. 

For my husband and me, we are both fortunate to be working at home—week four for me, week three for him. We are settling into this new normal, and while I am grateful to be safe, I long for the freedoms we have all given up. Freedom to go out to dinner with friends; buy what I need at the grocery store, including paper towels and toilet paper; go to a play or take a trip. 

My niece in Miami is due to have her first baby in just a few weeks. We were to be there, and of course, will not. She is frightened to be bringing a child into this COVID-19 world and, at the same time, is finding her center as she jokes about COVID-19 baby names. 

Last night for the first time, I dreamed about traveling. I woke up happy. This dream was a sign to me that I am seeing a light at the end of this tunnel. Even though I don’t know how long the tunnel is, the light is there. 

I am grateful for the connection we have found with friends all over the world. Passover with friends from Singapore, New Mexico, and Philly as well as folks here in Chicago. Zoom happy hours and dinners with friends and family from California, New York, Miami and here in Chicago. This change, of using technology to deepen our relationships, including the distant ones, I pray will stay with us when we do get to the other side.”

To continuing our shared connection,

Elisa

With Diversity, Comes Diversity

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

What does this statement even mean?

  • Homogeneous groups have similar backgrounds, preferences and personality styles. Often homogeneous groups are homegrown with few additions from “outside.”
  • Diverse groups, on the other hand, may differ in traditional ways, i.e., gender, race, ethnicity, and sexual preference. Members may also differ in terms of their personality styles and backgrounds. Finally, a group’s diversity may come from changes in membership as outsiders join and integrate into the existing culture.

Diverse leadership teams are hard…they are harder to build, unlikely to come to a consensus, and are more likely to have conflict.

So, why bother? Because… they are harder to build, are unlikely to come to a consensus and are more likely to have conflict, they make better decisions. Research studies prove this out. And, diverse groups only work when they can come together as an integrated team.

The word integration is rarely used today in the context of a diversity conversation. It harkens back to the 1970s when schools were being “integrated.” Fights broke out, and education became challenging. This period, in retrospect, was viewed as an experiment that failed. And, this “experiment” provides insight for leaders who want to diversify and integrate their organizations.

Integration- Merriam Webster “to form, coordinate, or blend into a functioning or unified whole.”

Some organizations handle integration well, and some don’t. Why? For me, the answer lies in how intentional the leader is about their culture.

What to do? As with any critical decision, start by asking yourself, what outcome do I want?

Diversity is not always the best approach. 

Homogeneous groups are easier. Because of their similar backgrounds, preferences, and styles, they are likely to agree and move forward quickly.

If the goal is getting more of what you already have, then a homogeneous group may be the way to go. If the goal is innovation and critical thinking, you are more likely to get there with a diverse group.

If you decide you want to build a diverse team, begin by defining what you are looking to accomplish with the diversity. Then ask yourself the following questions as you start to form, coordinate, or blend into a functioning or unified whole:

  • Do I know the backgrounds, preferences, and styles of current team members?
  • Have we defined our culture? And do we acknowledge the unspoken characteristics of our culture?
  • What are our gaps, and are we willing to fill them with outsiders who bring a different perspective?
  • What on-boarding actions do I need to take to achieve integration?

Let’s work together. You can learn more about my leadership coaching and peer advisory boards here. http://elisaspain.com

Gratitude for Clean Toilets that Flush

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

I spent most of December in Vietnam and Cambodia, an experience that had a profound impact I am still processing. We were fortunate to find a Hanoi based travel agent who created a truly local experience. While we stayed in fine hotels, most of which had all the features of western hotels, the rest of our experience was local. And local included local “WCs,” as they called them in Vietnam.

While I’ve traveled to places before where I had to buy toilet paper on the way in and follow unfamiliar toilet customs, this is the first time these experiences were daily and throughout the day. Except for our hotel and one or two tourist restaurants, our guides took us to local places. We sometimes visited people’s homes and were graciously allowed to use their facilities.

We loved Vietnam; it’s a colorful, dynamic, high energy place. The growth is palpable. Hanoi maintains the charm of its history while becoming more modern. It was interesting to see the perspective of North Vietnam and South Vietnam. Both were in favor of unity; the south isn’t happy about being part of a communist country, yet they accept it. And truthfully, with all of what they term “enterprise” in Vietnam (I guess they can’t call it capitalism), you don’t feel the communism or dictatorship at all.

We met a vet in Hanoi, an elite pilot who, together with three elite American pilots, wrote a book about the war. He has become friends with these Americans (they shot each other down), and they visit each other once or twice a year. I captured a quote on the back of the book that describes their feelings “We weren’t really enemies, just soldiers doing the best we could for our country.” In short, Vietnam has moved on from what they call “The American War,” and is a vibrant place.

Cambodia, on the other hand, is a very different place. This country has been under the same dictator since its civil war. After the war, nearly 50 years ago, the central government moved the people from the city to the country to become collective farmers, and that is how it remains. People farm so they can eat. They live on the land owned by the government, in “houses” made mostly of bamboo. A few shopkeepers are wealthy enough to have homes built of concrete. Most people don’t have electricity and the places where there is electricity, e.g., our hotel, it is unreliable (there are no electrical plants in Cambodia, they buy it from either Laos or Vietnam). Most people have water, but it is well water that is not necessarily safe to drink. Half the year, it is hot and arid and so dusty it is hard to breathe, and the other half it is hotter and flooded most of the time.

We don’t see news about Cambodia the way we do about Africa, e.g.Sudan and Rwanda, and yet Cambodia is similar. Although the Cambodian atrocities happened over 50 years ago during their 20-year civil war, they are still dealing with it today. Between 1.2 million and 2.8 million — estimated between 13 percent 30 percent of the country’s population at the time, was killed by the Khmer Rouge. Not to mention the nearly 4 million mines they told us still maim people regularly when they accidentally step on them.

During the trip, my husband and I just took it all in; we didn’t discuss what we saw and experienced until we were on our way home. I am still processing what I saw and how I feel about it all.

For me, toilets are a metaphor for the contrast between the industrialized world and the undeveloped in the case of Cambodia, and even the developing world of Vietnam. When we arrived at the airport in Tokyo, I was struck by how grateful I was to go to a clean bathroom with a clean toilet that flushed. I am still noticing this benefit in my life that I previously took for granted. I hope I continue to notice.

Let’s work together. You can learn more about my leadership coaching and peer advisory boards here.

The Meaning of Labor Day

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

When the first nationally recognized Labor Day was celebrated in 1894, the day consisted of a street parade sending up a message of “the strength and esprit de corps of the trade and labor organizations” (in the words of the AFL). We have come a long way since then. Today most employers focus on offering opportunities and benefits to attract and retain talent; as a result, the need for unions has diminished and few remain.

Yet we still celebrate the day as a national holiday. Perhaps it is simply tradition or the acknowledgment of the end of summer. Or a reminder to celebrate how far we have come as a nation of leaders and followers, where two-way communication has become much more the norm than workplace “negotiations”.

So, as you enjoy your family barbecues, or however you celebrate the day, I encourage you to pause and ask yourself:

  • As a leader, what can I do tomorrow to let each member of my team know they are valued and are essential to our success?
  • As a follower, what I can do tomorrow to add additional value to the success of our company.

Let’s work together. You can learn more about my leadership coaching and peer advisory boards here.

Is your company divided between the “creatives” versus the “practical” people?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Do you divide your team into “creatives” and ” practical” people? If so, are you missing out on the creative ideas of the other half?

If you ask David Kelley, one of the founders of IDEO, and winner of countless innovation awards he will say yes.

David maintains that human beings are naturally creative and it is fear of judgment that stifles creativity in most of us. He asks, what might happen if we were to overcome that fear of judgment and unleash our creativity? Perhaps the secret lies in what psychologist Albert Bandura calls guided mastery – a process whereby we identify a fear or phobia and by forcing ourselves to overcome that fear, we release our creative abilities.

How might you as a leader create an environment that enables your employees to build their creative confidence? Perhaps a simple starting place is with more legitimate brainstorming – following the brainstorming rules – no idea is a bad idea!

If you want to take this further, are you willing to expose your team to guided mastery? Sound too touchy-feely for you?

Before rushing to judgment, take a look at this 12 minute TED Video where David tells stories from his legendary design career and his own life and offers ways to build the confidence to create.

Elisa K Spain http://elisaspain.com/leadership/

Are You a CEO or President of a Privately Held Business? If you are also a lifetime learner and want to learn more about my Vistage Group, click http://elisaspain.com/impact/

What’s Your Story?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Psychologists, anthropologists, everyone who studies the human brain, tells us we are hardwired to respond to stories.

I recently watched two documentaries, both of which chronicled stories told by storytellers who were later indicted for fraud,  Billy McFarland, founder of Fyre Media, and creator of the Fyre Festival and Elizabeth Holmes, founder of Theranaos. Perhaps because I watched them back to back, I was struck by the common themes. 

Both founders passionately believed in their stories and told them well, so well, that investors and buyers flocked to them. In the case of Theranos, people and companies who in retrospect you could argue “should have known better” e.g., Walgreens, bought their stories without doing due diligence.

One question worth exploring another time is whether these storytellers, and others like them, set out to commit fraud, or whether they believed so passionately in their stories that they were blind to the facts. Regardless of their intent, their stories were compelling and captured the attention of many.

Stories are what binds us in relationships, both personal and professional.  Stories are what motivates us, think TED Talks. Stories are what compels second and third generation family members to want to take over the family business, or not.  And, stories are what inspires customers to buy our products and services, talented individuals to come work for us, and donors to support our philanthropic efforts.

What’s your story?

Elisa K Spain

Are You a CEO or President of a Privately Held Business? If you are also a lifetime learner and want to learn more about my Vistage Group, click here

Let Things Unfold At Their Own Pace

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

As leaders, most of us are action oriented. Something crosses our desk; we deal with it. An issue comes up with a customer, a vendor, an employee; we take action. And, sometimes, if we let things unfold at their own pace, we achieve a better result.

What?? Isn’t that avoidance or procrastination or fear of confrontation or, or, or?

  • Sometimes action is needed, and sometimes nothing is needed.
  • Sometimes, that annoying email doesn’t require a response.
  • Sometimes, when a negotiation stalls the best tactic is to leave it be, or
  • If the other side has already done that, let it rest.
  • Sometimes, doing nothing is simply the best strategy.

Two quick stories from two CEO’s I know:

First, a long term negotiation on a contract has gone on for several years. As an outsider looking in, one might wonder, why not bring this to closure. And, then we learn, it’s been 20 years of negotiation, minimal dollars spent, many thousands at stake. Even if it eventually settles, the present value of the money saved justifies the long process.

Another CEO negotiating with a former operating partner, still an owner. Sure would be nice to close that loose end, icky to have a former partner, a voting member. And then we learn, the former partner is in bankruptcy; looks like the CEO is going to pick up those shares at a significantly lower cost.

As Kenny Rogers says so well in the Gambler… “You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away.”

For me it’s a reminder to pause before I pick up the phone or write that email about the matter I feel an urgency to resolve.

Elisa K Spain

Are You a CEO or President of a Privately Held Business? If you are also a lifetime learner and want to learn more about my Vistage Group, click here