Am I The Only One?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Clients frequently ask me, “Am I the only one?” And, of course, the answer is always no. It doesn’t matter what actions or feelings you fill in at the end of this question; we share the human experience. 

Pivots are hard, and the challenges each of us experiences during life transitions are similar. For late-career transitions, the primary questions are:

  • How do I stay relevant without becoming overcommitted?
  • I want more of a life portfolio, yet I am accustomed to making my professional life the center of my attention.
    • How do I break this habit?
    • I am afraid of becoming bored. What if I do? Will it be too late to go back?  
  • Do I really want a portfolio, or do I want a new center of attention? If the latter, how do I keep myself from becoming consumed in the way I was before? 

These are hard questions, which is why it takes courage to pivot intentionally and why most people don’t. 

We watch professional athletes stay past their prime and participate in the debate about term limits for our congress. Yet, how often do we look inward and debate our own need for term limits? 

Before I created the You Pivot™ Program, I was a leadership coach for many years. During my tenure coaching CEOs and other C-Suite executives, only a fraction chose to go on to something new. Many more kept on keeping on, in some cases “after the thrill was gone.” 

Yet, in my experience, the people who intentionally choose their path are the happiest. As with most change, the scariest part is beginning.

What is the Future of Writing in the Era of ChatGpt?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

As a writer, I’ve pondered this question off and on. 

I’ve played around with ChatGpt, asking it to draft a story that I edited extensively or giving it an outline and asking it to turn it into prose. Frankly, I’ve not been overly impressed with the result and concluded that ChatGpt is suitable for generic writing tasks, e.g., condo rules and standard letters, not creative and inspirational writing.  

And then…

Last week I asked ChatGpt to write a 200-word blog on the value of reunions. Below is the blog it wrote. It’s good! So good it caused me to wonder, does writing have a future in the era of ChatGpt? 

As part of my pondering, I’ve been reading about the impact of ChatGpt in schools. In particular, I read that the college essay is dead. Some teachers have stopped giving writing assignments at all. 

On the other hand, there are teachers who see ChatGpt as an opportunity to challenge students with a more difficult task. These teachers ask students to use ChatGpt to write the essay, and then the assignment is to fact-check and critique what ChatGpt wrote and then revise the ChatGpt response (students turn in their critique, the ChatGpt composition, and their own).

So maybe the better questions are:

  • How will writing change in the era of ChatGpt? 
  • For those of us who seek to inspire with our writing, how do we ensure our contribution is unique?
  • When is it ok to ask ChatGpt to write for us and then share, with attribution, what it wrote? 

ChatGpt’s Blog 

Embracing the Joy of Reunions: Connecting Across Time and Distance

In a world where time races ahead, and life’s demands pull us in various directions, there’s something undeniably magical about reunions. These gatherings have an uncanny ability to transport us back in time, rekindling memories and emotions that have been tucked away. Reunions offer us a chance to bridge the gaps that time and distance have created, allowing us to connect and cherish the bonds that define us.

The anticipation leading up to a reunion is like a crescendo of emotions – excitement, nostalgia, and a touch of anxiety. As the familiar faces come into view, it’s as if time melts away, and we’re left with a profound realization that some connections remain unbreakable, no matter the miles that separate us.

Reunions are not merely events but windows into our past, present, and future. They provide an opportunity to share stories, reminisce about shared experiences, and catch up on the latest chapters of each other’s lives. Laughter reverberates, tears are shed, and hearts are warmed as we celebrate the beauty of human connection.

In a digital age where virtual interactions often dominate, the physical presence of a reunion is a poignant reminder of the significance of face-to-face connections. The joy of holding a friend’s hand, the warmth of a hug, and the unspoken understanding that passes between loved ones are experiences that can never truly be replicated through screens.

Whether it’s a high school reunion, a family gathering, or a long-awaited meeting with friends, reunions offer us a chance to rekindle bonds that time and distance may have momentarily obscured. They remind us that despite the challenges life throws our way, the ties that bind us are enduring and precious. So, as we gather once again, let’s embrace the magic of reunions and savor every moment of connection they offer.

Independence Day

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

One of the books I like to recommend to my You Pivot™ clients is Necessary Endings by Henry Cloud. 

In this book, Cloud uses a metaphor of rose bushes and compares them to our businesses, careers, and lives. He explains that a rose bush cannot support all the buds it creates. The beautiful ones only become so because of pruning. 

Cloud describes three types of pruning: pruning the good but not great branches, pruning the sick branches, and finally, pruning the deadwood. Perhaps the last two types are obvious, albeit sometimes hard to do. The first made me pause; really, I need to cut off some good branches for my rose bushes to flourish?

As I think about Independence Day, I notice the parallel between necessary endings and independence. For some of our forefathers, my guess is the relationship with Great Britain was good but not great. It certainly had benefits to go with the taxes and other challenges. And yet, despite the benefits, the founders of our country had the courage to recognize that an ending was necessary, declare their independence, and fight for it.

So, for each of us, the question becomes…

Who or what do we need to declare our independence from (and perhaps fight to summon the courage to do it) so that we can flourish like a well-pruned rose bush?

P.S. Another favorite you might like in the same genre is a book actually titled Independence Day by Steve Lopez.

What Is Your Story?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

As human beings, we are all storytellers. Our lives are filled with experiences, memories, and emotions that shape our unique narratives. 

Each of us has a story to tell, and the story about who we are today may differ from the story we want to write about tomorrow.

Reflecting on our past and present stories is an act of self-awareness that enables us to write our story of tomorrow. It’s about understanding the patterns, themes, and lessons that have emerged from our lives. It’s about recognizing the choices we’ve made, the challenges we’ve faced, and the growth we’ve experienced.

The good news is that we have the power to shape our stories, and we can rewrite the narratives and create new ones that align with our true selves. 

Here are some suggestions to help you explore and understand your story:

  1. Reflect on your past: Take the time to reflect on your past experiences, both positive and negative. What have been the defining moments in your life? What lessons have you learned? How have these experiences shaped your beliefs and values?
  2. Identify your beliefs and values: What do you believe about yourself, others, and the world? What values are important to you? Knowing your beliefs and values can help you understand how you view the world and make decisions.
  3. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses: What are your strengths and weaknesses? What are you proud of? What do you want to improve? Understanding your strengths and weaknesses can help you make choices that align with your abilities and aspirations.
  4. Embrace your uniqueness: What makes you unique? What are your passions, interests, and talents? Embrace your individuality and celebrate what sets you apart from others. Your uniqueness is what makes it your story.
  5. Write your narrative: Once you have gained clarity on your today story, you can create a tomorrow story that aligns with your authentic self. Set new goals, take calculated risks, and pursue a path that resonates with your heart.

So, ask yourself: What is your story? And take the first step towards shaping a story that truly reflects who you are and who you aspire to be.

The Privilege of Choice

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

I frequently ask my clients, What are you willing to give up to get what you want? 

The ‘give up’ may be something we believe. It may be fear (of failing, being wrong), comfort with what we have or know, or it may be tangible, a cost associated with a choice.

When we are talking about giving up something to get what we want, the key questions are these:

  • How much do I want the “something” I say I want?
  • What am I willing to give up to get it?

We live in a world of abundant choices. From the clothes we wear to the career choices we make, we are constantly faced with decisions that shape our lives. While having choices can be a privilege, it can also be a source of fear and anxiety. The fear of making the wrong choice or FOMO can paralyze us and prevent us from taking action.

The fear of making the wrong choice is a common experience that can prevent us from taking risks and pursuing the change we desire. However, we also know that making mistakes and experiencing setbacks is a natural part of growth and learning.

Here are some strategies for navigating the privilege and fear of choice:

  1. Consider what REALLY matters to you: Take the time to reflect on your values, passions, and goals. When you are clear on what matters, you can make choices that align with your authentic self.
  2. Prioritize and simplify: While having choices can be empowering, it can also lead to decision fatigue. To avoid this, prioritize your options and simplify your decision-making process. Consider what’s most important to you, and focus on the choices that align with your priorities.
  3. Take action: Making a choice involves taking a risk, but that doesn’t mean you have to be reckless. Instead, just as you do in business, gather information, weigh your options, consider the potential outcomes, and then take action.

In summary, having choices can be both a privilege and a source of fear. By cultivating self-awareness, prioritizing and simplifying, and taking calculated risks, we can effectively navigate the complex world of life choices.

Are You Making a Pearl?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

I was sitting with a client this week who was feeling unsettled and a bit stuck. Further, she had been feeling this way for some time and was frustrated that she hadn’t figured out what to do about it. 

As I listened to her, knowing that she is an action-oriented person, my intuition was that she wasn’t stuck; rather, she is going through a process of development and change and figuring out her tomorrow story. 

And, then I thought, hmm, that’s what an oyster does when it makes a pearl. 

According to the American Museum of Natural History, a pearl forms within the shell of an oyster when an irritant becomes trapped in the mollusk.

As we discussed this more, she realized that when she felt this way in the past, it led to a pivot. Ah ha. 

We seldom change without a catalyst. And sometimes, that catalyst makes us uncomfortable and becomes an irritant we wish would go away. Yet, when it doesn’t, we might very well be forming a pearl. 

What Is Your Personal Strategic Plan?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

September is the time of the year most companies begin their strategic planning process. But what about your personal strategic plan?

As part of my You Pivot™ Program, I suggest that my clients write a personal strategic plan. And I further recommend that they apply the techniques they have learned from business planning to this personal plan; frankly, most find it challenging. 

Business people are comfortable with and adept at business planning but rarely do these same executives choose to define their mission, vision, and strategic plan for their lives.

If you want to give it a try this year, here is a suggested approach:

  • Begin with your mission, your personal Why? Listen to Simon Sinek discuss finding your Why here. 
  • Then spend some time getting clear on What Matters to You, what really matters. 
  • As you reflect on your personal Why and your What Matters together, you should be able to craft your life vision. 
  • Finally, begin to draft your strategic plan, the actions you want to start, stop or continue so that you can achieve your life vision. 

Same, same, but different from your business plan. 

Walk? Run? Fly? Or Even Crawl…

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

It is sometimes hard to know when to walk, run, fly or even crawl. In our fast-paced world, we strivers tend to default to running. 

My sense is that different circumstances require different speeds, and most of the time, I find it is best to let things unfold at their own pace. 

When I remember to pause BEFORE taking action, I ask myself these questions to determine which pace makes the most sense:

  • If I am feeling a sense of urgency, what is driving it?
  • What will happen if I let others drive the pace rather than me?
  • If I slow down my pace, what benefits or costs will result?
  • If I speed up my pace, what benefits or costs will result?
  • What will happen if I choose to observe rather than act for some time?

Quiet Time, a Luxury or Necessity?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Call it meditation, or simply call it quiet time. Spiritual leaders say taking time to clear the mind is the secret to awareness and peace. For centuries, humans have gone to mediation classes, yogis, ashrams, the Dalai Lama, etc., in search of The Way.

More recently, our physicians have begun to tell us that meditation will lower your blood pressure, protect us from cancer, manage pain, and more. Mayo Clinic’s website contains this article on the health benefits of meditation.

And in this powerful New York Times opinion, the author reminds us our businesses will benefit too. “Creative thinking is markedly stymied by stray thoughts, obsessive ruminations, and other forms of mental load. Many psychologists assume that the mind, left to its own devices, is inclined to follow a well-worn path of familiar associations. But our findings suggest that innovative thinking, not routine ideation, is our default cognitive mode when our minds are clear.”

Summer is a great time to experience quiet, to test this out and see if perhaps a few moments of quiet each day could add value to our lives.

Is it the being or the doing that makes us uncomfortable?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

How often do we hear people say that they embrace diversity and then behave another way? As Ralph Waldo Emerson was fond of saying, “What you do speaks so loudly, I can’t hear your words.” 

My sense is this happens because embracing diversity is easy most of the time. It’s not when folks are different from us; it’s when folks do something different that we feel challenged.

As leaders, it is our job to create an environment where everyone feels included so that we can successfully optimize our common organizational goals. At the same time, in these polarized times, leaders are increasingly finding team members looking for those “doing differences.”

What to do when we find these doing differences? 

I remember once we invited two couples for dinner, and we were surprised when we opened the door, and one of the couples brought with them someone we didn’t know. They introduced the guest as a family member visiting from out of town. We set another place at the table and politely didn’t say anything, hoping the expressions on our faces didn’t reveal our surprise. 

After they left, we talked about how inappropriate we thought they were to bring someone without asking or at least telling us. Later on, we remembered that there were always extra people at the table when we had been to their house. It was the custom in their culture to include everyone in a meal, so it didn’t occur to them to ask.

The questions that come to mind for me are:

  • How do we set aside our differences and, at the same time, embrace them so that our organizations benefit from the broader thinking that diversity brings?
  • How do we know when to confront behavior that seems in conflict with what we are accustomed to or when to leave it be because the behavior results from life differences rather actual conflict?