I’ve decided to end the year with a guest blog from my friend and fellow Vistage Chair, Larry Cassidy. We’ve been having a discussion amongst us Vistage Chairs about the recent tragedies, hate crimes and terrorism and the related impact some members have begun to see in their companies. For me, Larry’s commentary expressed the challenge we face as a nation and caused me to pause. With that in mind, I am making it visible here, offering you some food for thought as you begin the holiday season.
First, a couple of stories and then Larry’s post.
One member reported an angry customer screaming in the lobby of her financial services company that the customer service rep he dealt with (second generation Pakistani American) should go back to her home country.
My first newsletter was sent on June 27, 2011, some 230 newsletters ago. And for those 4½ years I have stepped carefully around politics. Today I will take edge up to that tricky topic, not so much traditional politics, but rather on who we are, and what price we 322-million folks are willing to pay to be that.
We have undergone many serious gut-shots in the past several years, Paris and San Bernardino being the latest. As I ponder these tragedies, and before releasing this newsletter into the wild, my thoughts go to three big ideas:
- becoming the best version of ourselves,
- the hard price we are (or are not) willing to pay to get and stay there,
- our leadership as a part of all that.
There are many pieces to that, and we each have our own ideas. I will share mine below. You may disagree. But I do so because it is a conversation we cannot avoid, and all voices are required.
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“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”
The Statue of Liberty, dedicated 10/28/1886
Terrorism is a stark and frightening example of what others can do to us. Paris. San Bernardino. Too much, too often. And leadership is what we choose to do about it, and how we go about doing it.
Once again, we confront events with which we have not contended (remember: Pearl Harbor, the Cuban Missile Crisis, 9/11), and while such moments spawn anger and paranoia, they also summon our better angels. Which is one more good reason we would rather live here than anywhere else in the world, our flaws notwithstanding.
As I now savor almost-eight decades, I wonder if our fears might extinguish the Statue of Liberty’s torch, our shining beacon of freedom. And I question whether my opportunity to be born here, to live here, and to experience this thing called America, could have happened had such fear and paranoia won the early days of our history.
A bit dramatic? Go back a century-or-more, and we Irish were potato-heads, lazy scum. Italians were looked on as not much better. Jews? Forget it. African Americans, which was hardly what they were called? Slaves at best. Nor does that count Japanese-Americans or German-Americans in WWII. Pretty lucky for we shoddy Irish (and me) that we got past much of that.
Yes, we each have a right to feel, to fear, to embrace and to be safe. But before we pounce, look around. Soak it in. The ethnic, religious and nationalistic mess we behold is what has combined to make us great. It is our grand experiment, a palate on which each color and belief and ancestry is a part. It is us. So, what will it be ten, or fifty, or a hundred years from now?
Once again, we are in the process of deciding. In every business, classroom, sanctuary, gathering and discussion. And we are the leaders: the parents, coaches, elders, teachers, business executives. Make no mistake, we are deciding, we are leading and we are teaching.
- So what will we do, and how will we go about doing it?
- Which parts of what made this country great will we keep, and which will we discard?
- Will we mirror or will we reject what those who threaten us espouse?
- And once we decide, once we move on, will we have found our way to safety while continuing to lift our lamp beside the golden door?
This is a big deal. And we are all right in the middle of it.
Larry Cassidy
P.S. This is the last post this year, see you back here in January.
Are Your Expectations Too High Or Too Low?
How do you know?
- Sometimes we set our sights too low and don’t achieve as much as we can.
- Sometimes we expect too much from ourselves and constantly feel as though we don’t measure up.
- Sometimes we expect too much from our team or our key vendors and they feel as though they can’t please us.
- Sometimes we expect too little or don’t ask for what we really want from our employees or our vendors and we end up taking on too much ourselves instead.
How do we know which it is? For me the litmus test is this…
- How often are our expectations of ourselves or others met?
- What does our gut say about that percentage? Too high? Too low?
- What then is the next step to get our expectations in line with what is possible?
Right People At The Right Time…
Most of the clients I have worked with over the years founded their businesses; same is true for the members of my Vistage CEO group. These folks often join Vistage because they want to grow and build a professionally managed business. They are grateful and loyal to the folks that helped them get started. And, sometimes these two objectives are at odds.
The CEO knows in his head that change won’t happen without changing some key players. (After all, if the folks that are there were going to get you where you wanted to be, you would be there already). And, in his heart he is torn.
As humans, when confronted with substantial change, particularly within a structure, the mind tends to go immediately to “what am I going to lose?” Often there is much to gain, occasionally something to lose, but this is our mind at work, much less than the process at work. The question becomes, how do we overcome these fears and realize that forward progress only comes with transformation?
Here are some questions to consider, as you think about your own evolution:
- Owner: Am I in the right role in the organization? Am I best suited to be the investor, the operator, or both?
- Owner: The age old question, are the right people in the right seats on the bus to get to the destination I want?
- Owner or Key Executive: Am I spending most of my time do the things that are in my genius?
- Owner or Key Executive: Am I performing at the same level (or higher) today as I was when I began? If not, what change could I make so that I am?
- Owner or Key Executive: Am I making decisions out of loyalty rather than what is best for the organization? If so, what is the cost? And what really is loyalty?… Are we doing someone (or ourselves) a favor keeping them (staying) in a role that we are not excellent at? How might the organization (or I) benefit by moving on if I am not performing?
What Our Vistage Members Want You to Know
As Time Goes By….
Lots of talk these days about the increasing role the millennials are playing in the workplace. At the same time, many boomers remain in the workforce. The result: younger people managing folks older than them.
Millennials tell me they often feel uncomfortable in these situations. Today, I was talking with a young man taking over a family business. He shared with me that while he is excited about the opportunity, he is wondering why none of the “seasoned guys”, who have been with his father a long time, wanted to buy the business from his Dad. He is also wondering how they feel about him being their boss.
While the dynamics of a family business are different, I hear the same story from millennials in all types of organizations. And, I remember when I too was in a similar situation. I was 24 and became the manager of 3 divisions of a large company. Two of the direct managers were older than me and one was my age. Turned out the most challenging one, as you may have guessed, was with Nevin, the one my age. He wanted the job I had.
Here is what I learned from this experience. It is up to both the manager and the now junior employee to make it work. The best situation for me was with Rita, a graceful woman 30 years older than me. Rita didn’t want my job; she loved the job she had. And, while I was her boss, I learned a ton from her. She was gracious in sharing her wisdom and I credit her with helping me become a better leader. Nevin was a bigger challenge; we had some rough waters for some time. What we learned was there was a place for both of us and we could learn from each other. The result, we remained friends for many years to come. When I moved on, he took over the role I had, and years later, I introduced him to a friend who helped him launch a writing and speaking career he had dreamed of.
If this resonates with you, whether you are the boss in this situation or the older or peer subordinate, what are you doing to make the extra effort to make this work for both of you?
As The Leaves Begin To Fall….
Those of us in the northern climates are enjoying the annual fall display. For me, it is a reminder of the cyclicality of life and of business. Time to reflect on what has passed, celebrate our successes and remind ourselves that whatever may have been our failures, we get an opportunity in the new year to begin again.
In my experience, putting some intentionality, around what I want to happen, ups my chances of being able to look back at this time next year and notice and measure progress and success. With that in mind, I offer these questions to consider before the year comes to an end:
- What was one significant 2015 accomplishment?
- Have I articulated my vision for my team and have I validated that everyone knows what it is?
- What is our theme for 2016?
- What are our specific business objectives for 2016?
- What are the specific initiatives (action items) for achieving these objectives?
Tell Me A Story…
We humans seem to learn best, relate best and connect best, with stories. As children we learn the culture and norms of our society from fairytales and fables told by our parents. In the beginning of communities and societies, we told stories to the members of our “tribes” to initiate them into the tribe.
In organizations, we learn the culture and norms of our company from stories. For our teams and our customers, the stories they hear about the company and the stories they tell about the company matter. And today they share stories within their social networks, spreading the stories so much further than was possible before (via Yelp, Glassdoor, Twitter, to name a few).
The questions that come to my mind are:
- What stories are you telling yourself, your team, your customers?
- Are you intentional about the content of these stories and who you are telling them to?
- What greater impact could you have by telling stories and fables of your own?
What Our Vistage Members Want You to Know
Leadership Quote: Today You Will Get Something That Was Not Guaranteed…
This month’s leadership quote:
“Today you will get something that was not guaranteed.
One more day. Out of which to create the ‘you’ that works for you.
And to decide what that day will be, and who you will be.
You can write one more blank check, and let others fill in the amount;
or, you can decide on the payees in your life, and what and how you chose to give.
No magic. We all get this choice every day.”
-Larry M. Cassidy, Vistage Master Chair
How Do You Keep Your Mojo?
Sometimes the demands of one part of our life, work or family, consume us. Sometimes because of a crisis, sometimes because of a spike in workload or children’s sports or…, sometimes just because we become consumed.
These days, mobile devices link us 24/7 to the office, our bosses, our employees and coworkers. We are, as I heard it said recently, living in time poverty. It may be necessary, now more than ever, to pause, regroup and allow ourselves to do something counterintuitive; listen to music, go sailing, jogging, practice yoga, make pottery or simply go for a walk.
Why counterintuitive? Because our responsible self says, stay with it, do the work, finish the project, take care of the sick loved one, etc. We tell ourselves its selfish to do something for ourselves “at a time like this”.
If we think of our lives as a three legged stool….when one leg is gone, it won’t balance and falls over. We can’t take the pressures of work and family and go back and forth between them alone….that’s where the third leg, a completely different activity that is our individual interest alone, comes in.
At the height of World War 2 when the pressures were immense, President Roosevelt would escape to his stamp collection for an hour or so, doing something completely different. General George Marshall would ride horseback many mornings to relieve the pressures of his job of building and leading an Army of 8 million men and women.
Think about it—
- What is your third stool leg to balance your life?
- How often are you trying to balance on only 2 legs?
- How might you feel if all three legs were grounded on most days?
The Gift Of Feedback
Feedback is a gift. It is an opportunity for personal development and ultimately leadership development. And, it is hard; Very hard.
Not sure which is harder, giving feedback or accepting it. Recently I was with a small group of Vistage Chairs, several of us long tenured, and we were discussing this very topic. In fact, we spent a couple of hours working with each other to improve our skills at both. I mention long tenured, as a reminder to myself, that no matter how skilled we think we are at this, it is hard, and requires constant practice.
Here are the reminders I heard…
When giving feedback:
- You can earn trust with truthful, specific, positive feedback (TSP as speaker, Michael Allosso, calls it)
- When giving constructive feedback, ask first if the receiver is open to feedback
- Even better, wait until the feedback is asked for
- Own your experience, share feelings and observations; be specific
- Use neutral language e.g., my experience of you… or When you do…, I feel…
- Remember the purpose of feedback is to share your experience of another person, not to “fix” the other person
When receiving feedback, remember it is a gift
- Ask for feedback, and be specific about the purpose, e.g., I want to become more effective at…
- Listen and digest
- Try not to defend or respond except to simply say, thank you.
Better, Better, Maybe Not?
The notion that we can constantly make ourselves and our companies better, in theory, is a great idea. But when does it become too much?
For me, the best way to answer this question is to notice our strengths and work to enhance them. In my Vistage work and as a leadership coach, I refer to this as discovering and working in our genius.
Sometimes we become so focused on achieving that we are never able to appreciate who we are or what we and our people have already accomplished. When we’re constantly reaching, rather than occasionally being satisfied with what we have in front of us, that’s a recipe for perpetual dissatisfaction.
For me, the best way to avoid the “better, better, better” trap is to ask the following questions:
- What are we, as a company, already good at? Are these the things our customers value?
- Among the things most important to our customers, what are we good at and what do we need to do to become excellent at these?
- Of the things we are not good at and striving to improve, what can we outsource, or simply stop doing?
Once we know and understand what we are good at, and focus on that, not only do our companies and our people become more effective, we become more satisfied and ultimately become better leaders.
The initial results of my Pivot are excellent. I feel I have much greater clarity regarding the next 3-5 years.. 