negotiation – Page 4 – Elisa K. Spain

Declare Your Independence

July 3, 2016July 1, 2016 by Elisa SpainNo Comments

I have been reading a book called Necessary Ending, by Henry Cloud. In it, he uses a metaphor of rose bushes and compares them to our businesses, our careers and our lives. He explains that a rose bush cannot support all the buds it creates. And the ones that are beautiful only become beautiful because of pruning. Cloud describes three types of pruning: pruning the good but not great branches; pruning the sick branches; and finally pruning the deadwood. Perhaps the last two types are obvious, albeit sometimes hard to do in life. The first made me pause; really, I need to cut off some good branches for my rose bushes to flourish?

And, as I think about the upcoming independence day, I am noticing the parallel between necessary endings and independence. For some of our forefathers, my guess is the relationship with Great Britain was good, but not great. It certainly had benefits to go with the taxes and other challenges. And yet, despite the benefits, the founders of our country had the courage to recognize that an ending was necessary, declare their independence and fight for it.

So, for each of us, the question becomes…

Who or what do we need to declare our independence from (and perhaps fight to summon the courage to do it) so that we and our organizations can flourish like a well-pruned rose bush?

Is The Sky Blue?

June 19, 2016June 17, 2016 by Elisa SpainNo Comments

In my work as a Vistage chair and leadership coach, I am constantly reminded that despite the fact that we are all the same species, with many characteristics in common, we truly do see the world differently.

We expect this to be so, when we travel internationally or interact with people of differing ethnic, cultural and national backgrounds. In these situations, most of us have a heightened awareness of our differences and most of us realize we need to pause, think about what the norms are for the other person, think about what we have learned about their culture and modify our interaction and our behavior accordingly. An easy example I remember from the international training I had in the corporate world is how we exchange business cards. In the U.S., we simply toss our card on the table. In Japan, a business card is “presented”; held in two hands and a formal exchange.

Yet, when dealing with people who speak our same language, we often forget to pause. I remember a colleague of mine from the UK saying, “we are two countries, divided by a common language”.

We forget that just because we speak the same language, may even come from the same community, we see the world differently. And the closer a person is to us, the more likely we are to forget. We simply carry on, behave in a manner that comes naturally to us and when it works, it works. And when it doesn’t, we leave a wake. Sometimes we recognize the wake we are leaving and work to repair it; sometimes we don’t see it.

When we are in a leadership position, and leave a wake with our folks, it is rare that it is brought to our attention directly. Rather, we learn about the impact we had, from actions and behaviors we see exhibited by our staff. Often we don’t connect the dots and see that it was our wake that caused the behavior in others that we don’t want to see.

So, what to do? Here are the questions I am asking myself:

Can I slow down, so that I have this heightened awareness in all conversations?
Once I notice the conversation is one that requires special attention, like the business card exchange, what do I already know and what do I need to learn about the other person, that will help me handle my delivery in a way that lands as intended?
When have I left a wake, what do I need to do to clean it up?

Are You Willing To Wait For Transformation?

June 12, 2016June 9, 2016 by Elisa SpainNo Comments

Change is hard; it taxes the soul of both leaders and followers.

And, for many of us leading change, I wonder if this frustration sometimes leads to giving up or giving in too soon?

Two years ago I began a transformation process with one of the peer groups I lead. The change was disruptive. Some folks stayed, some folks left and we began the hard work as described by Dr. Bruce Tuckman in his elegant model of team development and group behavior, i.e. forming, storming, norming and now performing.

At the beginning, the task seemed daunting, and I often wondered if we would be adjourning, rather than transforming.

And then… the process took on its own life. We stormed through to norming and today we are congratulating ourselves on how well we are performing. Looking back, the time flew. Looking back, it wasn’t all that hard. Once I articulated the vision, communicated it often and asked each member to own it, the change began to happen. We were mindful of celebrating our wins and mindful of institutionalizing our new approaches. And most importantly, we continue to be mindful that while the present is to be celebrated; it must also be monitored and evaluated. We must follow the DIME model to prevent the new practices from becoming stale.

Biggest learning for me: stay the course; transformation takes time. Allow it to unfold at its own pace.

Do Titles Matter?

May 22, 2016May 18, 2016 by Elisa SpainNo Comments

If you ask most founders of privately held companies, their answer is, ‘titles don’t matter’. In their eyes, everyone simply needs to do what needs to be done to make the company and all of us successful.

If you ask most professional managers, their answer is, ‘of course titles matter’. Titles tell the people in the company who is responsible and accountable for decision making. Titles also tell the outside world, customers and other stakeholders, who is who.

In the early days of entrepreneurial companies, hierarchies don’t exist and therefore titles are fluid and variable. These companies pride themselves on being nimble and quick to respond to marketplace demands. As Vistage companies grow, we Chairs encourage owners to build a leadership team so they can build a sustainable enterprise.

And, owners want experienced leaders to fill these leadership roles – In walks the professional managers mentioned above. These folks are accustomed to structure and ready to create that sustainable enterprise. With their ability to create processes to support a sustainable enterprise, comes their comfort and desire for hierarchy, titles, offices, etc.

Further, as companies grow, leadership needs grow as well. Regardless of what owners call themselves initially, the distinction between the role of the CEO (externally and long term focused) and the role of the President (internally and results focused) become relevant. Sometimes, regardless of company size, the same person can perform both roles and sometimes it becomes clear that the company will benefit if these two roles are split between two leaders.

And when the person the owner called Director or VP of Operations or Sales in the early days, has most of the company reporting to them today or is actually leading the #1 strategic initiative or leading the executive committee meetings, what message are you sending if you don’t change their title?

What does matter? Really..

For professional managers
- Is it time to pause and ask, how much of what I expect in terms of hierarchy, paying dues, etc. matters?
- What recognition is truly important for me to feel successful in my organization?
- When joining a new organization or taking on an assignment, what behaviors, rather than titles and trappings, should I be asking for that will set me up to succeed?

For owners and founders
- Is it time to provide role clarity for me and for my leadership team?
- When is the right time to divide responsibilities and share both the leadership of the company and the associated titles?
- What recognition do I want to give; when, to whom and for what reason?

Boundaries Do Have Consequences

May 15, 2016May 14, 2016 by Elisa SpainNo Comments

As leaders in the 24×7 culture of the 21st century, we all must set boundaries. And they are different for each of us. Some of us like to stay at the office until the work for the day is completed and separate work time from family or play time. Some of us like to be connected all the time, handling things as they come up. These folks prefer a more integrated life rather than a separation. Still, others want to be home in the early evening and choose to “catch up” later on when everyone in their family has gone to bed.

There is no right or wrong; some of it is generational, some of it is just personal preference. And, what I have noticed, in the years I have been coaching executives, is that regardless of preference, setting boundaries is something many people struggle with. And people with young children struggle the most. People with families often agree to boundaries, rather than set boundaries between work and family; and they often forget to set aside time for themselves or agree to boundaries imposed upon them.

This is not a new subject; it is talked about and written about a lot. What I don’t hear discussed, as much, is the consequences of setting boundaries. For the sake of our loved ones, our health, or emotional health, we all must set boundaries that meet our needs. And, what I have come to realize is with very few exceptions, these boundaries have consequences. Sometimes the work doesn’t get done, sometimes our families are hurt or disappointed and sometimes the cost is economic, the customer goes elsewhere or we must leave our position and take one that allows us to live the boundaries we want, perhaps with lower compensation.

The question is, can we be intentional about choosing, so that we knowingly pay a cost we are willing to pay, rather than suffer a cost that we were neither expecting nor prepared to pay?

Take A Break And Grow Your Company

April 17, 2016April 11, 2016 by Elisa SpainNo Comments

Sometimes when life feels overwhelming, our instinctive reaction is to work more. This is especially true when our personal lives are demanding more of our attention; we feel we have to make up for that time, so as not to fall behind.

And, yet, I wonder if the counterintuitive response is to instead, take a break. Perhaps take more than one break. Go for a walk, go to the gym, meditate, do a few yoga poses, or simply sit quietly and take a few breaths.

And with that clearer mind the break provides, pause and think about what falls within Steven Covey’s four quadrants of time management. Most importantly, ask ourselves, is everything that feels urgent, truly important? Or is it urgent because we have lost our perspective, and are working “off the top”? In short, what is on our plate that can best be ignored, at least for now.

I remember years ago traveling with one of my colleagues. I had my files all spread out and was busy working on the plane. My colleague was sitting a few rows back, eating an apple. At the time, I thought, “well how unproductive she is; this is a great time to catch up”.

I have thought of that scene on the airplane many times in my life. It didn’t take me long to realize she chose the smarter option. The reality – business travel is exhausting; why not arrive refreshed and ready to take on the challenges of the day?

And, even if you aren’t actually traveling to the next truly important event (be it urgent or even better the important, non-urgent), why not approach it with a fresh and healthy mind and body?

The result may very well be the insight and action needed to grow your company.

Let It Rest

March 20, 2016March 18, 2016 by Elisa SpainNo Comments

As leaders, most of us are action oriented. Something crosses our desk, we deal with it. An issue comes up with a customer, a vendor, an employee, we take action. And, sometimes it’s best to simply let it rest.

What?? Isn’t that avoidance or procrastination or fear of confrontation or, or, or?

Sometimes action is needed, and sometimes nothing is needed.
Sometimes, that annoying email doesn’t require a response.
Sometimes, when a negotiation stalls the best tactic is to leave it be, or
If the other side has already done that, let it rest.
Sometimes, doing nothing is simply the best strategy.

Two quick stories from two CEO’s I know:

First, a long term negotiation on a contract has gone on for several years. As an outsider looking in, one might wonder, why not bring this to closure. And, then we learn, it’s been 20 years of negotiation, minimal dollars spent, many thousands at stake. Even if it eventually settles, the present value of the money saved alone justifies the long process.

Another CEO negotiating with a former operating partner, still an owner. Sure would be nice to close that loose end, icky to have a former partner still a voting member. And then we learn, the former partner is in bankruptcy; looks like the CEO is going to pick up those shares at a significantly lower cost.

As Kenny Rogers says so well in the Gambler… “You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away.”

For me it’s a reminder to pause, before I pick up the phone or write that email on the matter I feel an urgency to resolve.

Socrates Was So Wise

March 6, 2016March 4, 2016 by Elisa Spain1 Comment

I have become convinced the Socratic Method is the secret to business success. In short, the answer is in the question. By asking better questions, we enable others to come to their own resolutions. Most of us in business are problem solvers, and often the answer to someone else’s problem or challenge seems obvious to us. Therefore, we rush in with advice, without stopping and asking questions. What I have learned, and continue to remind myself of daily, is that by asking more poignant questions, the resulting answer may not only be better, it may also be different than what we perceived as obvious before we asked. And most important, eureka only comes when a person discovers their own answer.

Following is a quote from one of my CEO members that, to me, captures the essence:

“I had a very interesting life lesson yesterday. Another member was leading and that was probably a little difficult for me to have someone else in charge. Once I accepted my role and decided to listen instead of work hard to offer my opinion, my perception of how I could add value changed drastically. I remember that Elisa said, ‘work to ask questions and not just offer suggestions’. I struggle with that as I always want to solve other people’s problems for them. It’s like counseling. The counselor never seems to tell you your problem; they just keep asking questions until you have the realization and state it yourself. That always bugged me. I now realize that until someone deeply understands their own problem, they will not take action nor will they truly support any action that they do take based on another’s understanding. I think I got more value out of the meeting than any other person in the room. That value was directly linked to not talking”.

We Are Bound By What We Know

February 21, 2016February 19, 2016 by Elisa Spain1 Comment

Ah, the wonder of a child. We hear all the time that all children are creative, all children are artists; and then something happens as adults and we self-select into those who are creative and artistic, and those who are not.

I wonder how much of this is because as adults we are bound by what we know. The more we bring our knowledge and experience to a given circumstance, the more likely we are to miss an opportunity to look with the fresh eyes of a child. On the other hand, knowledge often equals wisdom, the ability to learn from experience and therefore make better choices.

So, how do we know when we are bringing wisdom and when we are bringing limiting beliefs to a given situation? Perhaps these questions can help:

Is what I am about to do something I have done before and if so, is my previous experience relevant?
If it is something new, is my previous experience truly relevant, or is it holding me back?
Am I uncomfortable with taking on something new and therefore looking for knowledge that will justify my discomfort?
What if I suspended judgement and argued for a reason to say yes?
What if I suspended judgement and argued for a reason to say no?

Ah, The Power Of Retrospection

February 7, 2016February 3, 2016 by Elisa SpainNo Comments

As part of the big purge, I had a wonderful realization. Looking back, all that stuff that seemed so important, turns out… really isn’t. If only we, especially as leaders, could see this prospectively.

And, we can. Once again, it is a matter of pausing. Simply stopping and asking the following questions:

Does what I am about to do, need doing? I find this one is particularly important to ask about the stuff that seems urgent, which leads to the second question.
Does what I am about to do, need doing, right now? I find, I must make a case to myself why it’s not urgent or I will just do it. In short, life really is not an emergency.
If it really does need doing, am I the right person to do it? The question isn’t will I do it better, it’s what is the best use of my time. And, if I do delegate it, can I do it with a realistic, rather than a now deadline?