The Answer Is In The Question…

The Answer Is In The Question…

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

One of the life lessons I have learned, since becoming a Vistage Chair six years ago, is the answer is in the question. By asking better questions, we enable others to come to their own resolutions. Most of us in business are problem solvers, and often the answer to someone else’s problem or challenge seems obvious to us. Therefore, we rush in with advice, without stopping and asking questions. What I have learned, and continue to be reminded of daily, is that by asking more poignant questions, the resulting answer may not only be better, it may also be different than what we perceived as obvious before we asked.

Following is a quote from one of my CEO members that, to me, captures the essence:

“I had a very interesting life lesson yesterday. Another member was leading and that was probably a little difficult for me to have someone else in charge. Once I accepted my role and decided to listen instead of work hard to offer my opinion, my perception of how I could add value changed drastically. I remember that Elisa said, ‘work to ask questions and not just offer suggestions’. I struggle with that as I always want to solve other people’s problems for them. It’s like counseling, the counselor never seems to tell you your problem, they just keep asking questions until you have the realization and state it yourself. That always bugged me. I now realize that until someone deeply understands their own problem, they will not take action nor will they truly support any action that they do take based on another’s understanding.  I think I got more value out of the meeting than any other person in the room. That value was directly linked to not talking”.

 

Leadership Quote: I Am Part Of All Whom I Have Met….

Leadership Quote: I Am Part Of All Whom I Have Met….

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

This month’s leadership quote:  I am part of all whom I have met. – Alfred Lord Tennyson.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned since becoming a Vistage Chair is this one. How many times do we as leaders say to ourselves,  “I am different, they are different, that is the reason we cannot communicate.”

What if instead, we asked ourselves the following questions when dealing with a difficult communication challenge:

  • What can I learn about the person I am dealing with that will give me insight into them as a human being?
  • What life experiences do we share?
  • What personality traits, interests, passions do we share?
  • How might what we share, help us to communicate?

Elisa K. Spain

 

Sight Over Sound: When Face-To-Face Communication Improves Negotiation

Sight Over Sound: When Face-To-Face Communication Improves Negotiation

by Elisa SpainNo Comments


Mode of communication matters! So say Kellogg School of Management professors Roderick Swaab, Adam D. Galinsky, Victoria Medvec and Daniel Diermeier.
In research described in the article below, the Northwestern University team discovered, not surprisingly, that face-to-face communication is critical to negotiation in two circumstances.

  • When two parties don’t know each other well
  • When two parties have a history of negative interactions

When the parties already know each other AND “have a history of cooperation” and positive interactions, face-to-face communication is not so important. In short, where there is trust, negotiating partners assume the best in each other.

Let’s start with this question: Why?

We easily understand the need for direct, in-person communication in the first two circumstances. What we are likely to underestimate is the need for personal exchanges with people we know, but with whom we just don’t have that storehouse of positive interactions.

While the Kellogg team’s research was specifically related to negotiation, my sense is that we can apply this insight to all of our business and personal interactions. After all, as Jack Kaine, our Vistage Speaker on negotiations, says, “Every interaction between two human beings is a negotiation.”

This study also prompts me to ask additional questions:

  • In each of our lives, what important relationships still require us to build a “history of positive interaction” before we can become highly reliant on written communication?
  • When we want to resolve a situation, is it worth pausing and asking ourselves whether we should continue using email — or would it be better to schedule a meeting?

Here’s the full article: http://insight.kellogg.northwestern.edu/index.php/Kellogg/article/sight_over_sound

Elisa K. Spain