Is It Time for Something New?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Our parents taught us, and we teach our children, the importance of sticking to something, the value of not giving up, and continuing to stay the course even in the face of adversity.

But what about the flip side? What about the importance of recognizing when it is time to find something new?

  • Time for the entrepreneur, who doesn’t have traction after five years, to try the next thing. And instead, she shows up every day to try, try try, but it is not fun, perhaps never was, and the results show it.
  • Time for the founder who created something special, had fun when it was small, and is no longer working in his genius to move on. Perhaps hire a president, possibly sell, maybe even shut down. And instead of moving on, he shows up every day to try, try, try; but it is no longer fun, and the results show it.
  • Time for the young professional manager to pause and think about what she really wants from her career. Perhaps, give up managing because it’s not what she likes or move from the safe corporate job to a smaller company where she can have more of an impact. Instead, she shows up every day to try, try, try; but it is increasingly hard to do. It’s no longer fun, and the morale of her team shows it.
  • Time for the mature professional manager to retire. He long ago lost interest in his work but has no idea what he would do with his time. So instead of figuring out what else may be on the horizon and meeting with a financial planner to understand his financial options, he shows up every day to try, try, try; but it’s no longer fun, and he knows life could be more full.

Is this you? Is it time for you to find something new?

Declare Your Independence

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

One of my favorite books and one I recommend to all my clients is Necessary Endings, by Henry Cloud. 

In this book, Cloud uses a metaphor of rose bushes and compares them to our businesses, careers, and lives. He explains that a rose bush cannot support all the buds it creates. The beautiful ones only become so because of pruning. Cloud describes three types of pruning: pruning the good but not great branches, pruning the sick branches, and finally pruning the deadwood. Perhaps the last two types are obvious, albeit sometimes hard to do in life. The first made me pause; really, I need to cut off some good branches for my rose bushes to flourish?

As I think about Independence Day, I am noticing the parallel between necessary endings and independence. For some of our forefathers, my guess is the relationship with Great Britain was good but not great. It certainly had benefits to go with the taxes and other challenges. And yet, despite the benefits, the founders of our country had the courage to recognize that an ending was necessary, declare their independence, and fight for it.

So, for each of us, the question becomes…

Who or what do we need to declare our independence from (and perhaps fight to summon the courage to do it) so that we and our organizations can flourish like a well-pruned rose bush?

Is It Capacity Or Is It Making Choices?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

As an Executive Life Coach for CEOs, I’ve seen several common traits in those who have successfully grown their businesses. I’ve told stories in the past about the importance of having a vision, having the right people, and having strong execution. Another more subtle characteristic shared by successful leaders, they seem to have an incredible “capacity.”

Webster defines capacity as:

  • the potential or suitability for holding, storing, or accommodating 
  • an individual’s mental or physical ability
  • the faculty or potential for treating, experiencing, or appreciating
  • the facility or power to produce, perform or deploy: maximum output

It’s this facility for maximum output to which I am referring, the ability to take on more, handle more stress, be present regardless of outside circumstances, or simply do more. It’s more than ability, it’s, well, capacity.

And, here’s what I observe. While it appears that these leaders can simply handle more and do more than others, they also can choose. To make a choice and accept that when they choose, they may disappoint someone. And they allow themselves to be okay with that.

 

The Way

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed
Most of us learned “the way” early in life. Some of us learned it from our parents, some from our teachers or other adult role models. The way we learned was the way they did it. We observed, or they told us, how to live our lives; and in what order to do things. Typically it went something like this, get an education, get a job, get married, pursue/advance in a career, have kids, retire, enjoy our grandkids. For some, this may still be the way, and for more and more people, this is only one of many choices. Today we have more choices, and for most of us, a longer time frame during which we might choose multiple ways. For example, I know a grandmother who became a lawyer in her 70’s; and recently heard about an architect who became a restaurant owner in her late 40’s and a physician who became a professional singer. So, as you think about your way, whatever stage of life and transition you are in, consider deciding first what is important to you and then choose the way that supports that. One of the driving reasons I chose to become an entrepreneur 25 years ago (after 20+ years in the corporate world) was flexibility. I wanted control over my day; I didn’t want to live on a schedule, and as silly as it sounds today, I didn’t want to put on pantyhose every day. :-). What drives you? And, are you living your life and career in a way that is consistent with that drive?

Ending Is Beginning

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

A couple of weeks ago, I asked the question: How Do You Know When It Is Time To Go? I received so many responses that I was inspired to write this Part II.

When a new client begins my You Pivot™ Program, I recommend a couple of books, one of which is Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud. The premise of Dr. Cloud’s book is that we must learn to let go if we are to move forward. 

Often, the idea of letting go, we internalize as giving up. And, giving up is antithetical to our training. Starting from childhood, we are taught “don’t be a quitter.”

So what gives? The answer says Dr. Cloud is in getting to the pruning moment. Throughout his book, Dr. Cloud shares stories of the relief and success people discover once they choose to let go. 

My clients in my You Pivot™ program learn that the pruning moment can only come when they get unstuck. And that getting unstuck is a process that begins with contemplating essential questions. Below is a sampling of these questions:

What Is Your Today Story? 

  • When and where did you begin?
  •  Where are you in your life journey? 
  • How many years/career versions are left? 

What Matters To You? 

  • How does today compare to what matters? 
  • What has worked so far in your career? What has not worked? 

What Is Your Tomorrow Story? 

  • What is the content of the next chapter of your life?
  •  What endings are necessary to achieve your tomorrow story? What will you do to create the story you wrote? 

Once my clients discover the answers to these questions and others like them, without exception, I hear, “I wish I had made this change a year ago,” or sometimes, I hear, “I wish I had made it years ago.”

How Do You Know When It Is Time To Go?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Whether you are a business owner, a professional manager, an advisor, or anyone engaged in an enterprise for an extended time – how do you know when it is time to go?

“Nothing is forever,” the saying goes, and yet sometimes, perhaps even frequently, we stay too long. We watch professional athletes stay past their prime, and we participate in the debate about term limits for our congress. Yet, when it comes to our own engagements, how often do we look inward and debate our own need for term limits?

When I was negotiating my exit from the corporate world years ago, I remember a conversation I had with a friend. My friend asked, “What are you going to do if you don’t get the deal you want?” My answer was, “I guess I will stay one more year.” Her response, “How many more years are you going to say, one more year?” At that moment, I realized it was time for me to go, regardless of the negotiation outcome. And… because I had made my decision to exit, I, of course, handled the negotiation more effectively.

While this topic comes up for most leaders now and then, it typically surfaces in a time of frustration. I wonder if it might serve us to ask ourselves this question as part of our annual strategic planning instead. What if, as part of strategic planning, every business owner or executive answered the following five questions:

  1. What did I give to the business, other than my time, this past year?
  2. What did I get, other than $$, from my engagement in the business?
  3. How do my answers to #1 and #2 compare to previous years?
  4. If my give/get has declined, what do I need to do to change this, and do I have the passion and skillset to do it?
  5. If I didn’t lead or own this business, what would I be doing instead?

If you have asked these questions in the past and have stopped asking them, you may already know that it is time to go.  

The Unreliable Narrator: Part II – The Flip Side

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Last week I featured the familiar unreliable narrator story, the one where we judge ourselves harshly and thus tell an unreliable story of our accomplishments.

As I reflected on this story in conversations with readers, I was reminded of an unreliable narrator of a different sort that can be equally misleading. In this version, the narrator tells a story of accomplishments that may also be lies, i.e., the flip side.

As a reminder, the unreliable narrator is a storyteller who withholds information, lies to, or misleads the reader, casting doubt on the narrative. Authors use this device to engage readers on a deeper level, forcing them to come to their own conclusions when the narrator’s point of view can’t be trusted.

In the flip side story, the narrator has convinced himself (or herself) that s/he is bulletproof.

A while back, I watched two documentaries, both of which chronicled storytellers who were later indicted for fraud, Billy McFarland, founder of Fyre Media, and the Fyre Festival creator and Elizabeth Holmes, founder of Theranos. Perhaps because I watched them back to back, I was struck by the common themes.

Both founders passionately believed in their stories and told them well, so well, that investors and buyers flocked to them. Except their stories were lies. These two founders were unreliable narrators that were so good at their craft that the observer didn’t see that the narrator’s view could not be trusted.

One can easily dismiss these dramatic stories as intentional fraud. I wonder, though, whether these storytellers and others like them set out to commit fraud or believed so passionately in their stories that they were blind to the facts.

Less dramatically, there are the people we know who confidently share their successes, which seem real, until we look behind the curtain.

Regardless of the type of lies, the unreliable narrator holds us back and keeps us from telling our real story.

YOU PIVOT™: What Is Your Tomorrow Story?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

In my work with CEOs and senior executives in my YOU PIVOT™ Program, I ask them to begin by telling me the story of who they are today. Then, I ask them to consider and share what matters most to them.

Only then, when they have clarity on their today story and what matters, I ask them to craft their vision for the next version of their life and career. I ask my clients to write this vision in story form. It’s hard to write a story about ourselves. For me, I find that just the act of thinking about the story, perhaps writing some notes about it, is a helpful way to get started.

I am a big fan of Steve Covey’s Seven Habits, and one of my favorites is, Begin with the end in mind. That said, without a good understanding of where we are today, how that is working or not working for us, it is impossible to craft a future vision in the context of what matters. So, we begin with the end in mind, AND we examine the life we are currently living so we can notice what is in our path and perhaps blocking our way.

  • Who are you? What matters to you?
  • What version of your life and career are you in?
  • What is your tomorrow story?