Inspiration – Page 8 – Elisa K. Spain

The Way

July 15, 2018July 13, 2018 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Most of us learned, “the way” early in life. Some of us learned it from our parents, some from our teachers or other adult role models. The way, we learned, was the way they did it. We observed or they told us, how to live our lives; and in what order to do things. Typically it went something like this, get an education, get a job, get married, pursue/advance in a career, have kids, retire, enjoy our grandkids.

For some this may still be the way, and for more and more people, this is only one of many choices. Today we have more choices and for most of us, a longer time frame during which we might choose multiple ways. For example, I know a grandmother who became a lawyer in her 70’s; and recently heard about an architect who became a restaurant owner in her late 40’s.

So, as you think about your way, whatever stage of life and transition you are in, give some consideration to deciding first what is important to you and then choose the way that supports that.

For me, one of the driving reasons I chose to become an entrepreneur, 20 years ago, (after 20+ years in the corporate world) was flexibility. I wanted control over my day, I didn’t want to live on a schedule and as silly as it sounds today, I didn’t want to put on pantyhose every day. :-).

What drives you? And, are you living your life and career in a way that is consistent with that drive?

What If I Can’t Today?

June 17, 2018June 6, 2018 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

We as leaders are told all the time that everyone is always watching us. A smile, a frown, silence, all are interpreted as “a sign”. And since most of us think in terms of impact on ourselves, our followers interpret these “signs” as a sign of something that impacts them. This of course frequently results in “absent information, people make stuff up”.

As leaders, we hear this and interpret it to mean, we need to be “on” all the time. Yikes, especially the introvert leaders say, that is exhausting!!

What if instead, when we are feeling pressured, angry, sad, depleted, we let our folks know that we are working on whatever problem has put us temporarily out of commission, “I had a tough conversation this morning and I am distracted by that, I will look for you later this afternoon so we can talk about your issue”.

For me, time and time again I have seen this sort of human response draw people toward their leaders…

What has been your experience?

It’s All About the Experience

May 20, 2018May 18, 2018 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

My husband and I are both foodies; we love to cook and to experience food events. Recently, along with another couple, we signed up for an “underground dining experience”. We had attended one of these in the past with a young chef who was relatively new on the restaurant scene and had a wonderful time. In addition to his culinary skills, this chef was warm and engaging. We felt as though we were guests in his home.

The chef of this more recent event had previously owned a Michelin 2 star restaurant that was in business for 3.5 years. To earn 2 stars (out of a possible 3), after such a short period of time, was certainly impressive. We had not been to the restaurant, but had heard and read great things about it so we were excited to attend what we expected would be an intimate evening.

Sadly, we were disappointed. The food was meticulously prepared and tasty, i.e. technically correct in every way. But, the experience…. well it wasn’t an experience. We left saying to each other, this evening was about one thing, the chef making money after the restaurant closed.

Despite emails admonishing us to arrive early (we all did), we were seated 45 minutes after arrival, and then were rushed out so they could prepare for their second seating. The chef did not engage with the guests, the courses were served, he gave an explanation of the ingredients, without flourish, and then went back to the kitchen.

So what, you may be saying, why do I care?

Care is exactly what was missing and, care is exactly what he reminded me is critical to delivering an experience to our customers. Technically correct is simply that and it is not enough. What we as humans want is engagement and care. We don’t do business with companies, we do business with people. And it is in that human connection that we must deliver and receive delight.

In short, it’s all about the experience. Without engagement, all we have is a transaction. No matter how technically correct the delivery is, it will never achieve the value one is willing to pay for a true experience.

Listen, Please

April 22, 2018April 20, 2018 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

As leaders we are problem solvers. In fact, problem solving is a key strength required in a leader. And yet, sometimes, the best solution is to simply listen.

When I first began working as a leadership coach, I believed that my role was always to motivate my client toward action. While I still believe action is required to achieve results, I have also learned that, sometimes, it’s best to just listen.

Sometimes all a person wants is the opportunity to think out loud. And for us, as the listener, to do just that. To simply listen, not offer advice, perhaps ask a question or two and then allow them to sit with their own questions, their own reflections, and come to their own answers. And sometimes, at first, being heard is enough. Perhaps at a later date, it’s time for action.

Why Work with a Coach?

April 15, 2018April 12, 2018 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

For CEOs, the answer to this question is usually easy, the personal and professional gains a CEO expects from coaching usually have a direct correlation with results in their business.

For a senior executive, the question is more complex, because in addition to the relationship between the coach and the executive, there is the relationship between the executive and his/her manager.

As with most things, getting clear upfront about your intentions and expectations will yield better results. Here are some questions to consider if you are a senior executive with the desire to work with a coach:

Is coaching for your general professional development?
Or are there specific expectations that coaching is expected to address and that you will be accountable for?
What is the contract between you and your coach?
What is the contract between you and your sponsoring manager?
As the executive in coaching, how will I demonstrate or communicate progress to my manager?
If you have a sponsoring manager, i.e. the company is paying for your coaching, how does your manager want to be kept informed of progress?

Making the Most of Downtime

April 1, 2018March 28, 2018 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

When was the last time you wasted time? When you were “wasting time,” did you feel joyful and creative, or — if you’re like me, did you feel even a tiny bit guilty for “being unproductive?” How much better might it have been, how much more would you have enjoyed your time — how much more would you have gotten out of it — if you didn’t feel guilty about it or feel the need to explain it?

Here’s a fact: wasting time is a key part of our lives.

However, wasting time poorly is a sin (or whichever word you prefer), because not only are you forgoing the productivity, generosity and art that comes from work, but you’re also giving up the downtime, experimentation and joy that comes from wasting time.

If you’re going to waste time (and I hope you will), please do it well; and find inspiration by nurturing your butterflies within.

Meditate On It

February 18, 2018February 15, 2018 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

What Do You Do When You Get Stuck?

We’ve all been there. Working on a project and we just can’t seem to get to completion. Or at least not to a completion we are satisfied with. The project could be something short term, an assignment for a client, writing the next blog, or it could be something big, perhaps a life decision.

Some of us power through, get to an acceptable answer and move on.
Some of us pause, ruminate, perhaps even beat ourselves up for not getting to the “right” answer, or even stop completely.

Whichever is your default modus operandi, I invite you to consider this one: meditate on it.

Meditation can be…

Sitting quietly in the traditional form of meditation, perhaps for a day or a week or even more, depending on the scope of the challenge.
Scheduling what one of my clients refers to as, “library time”. Scheduling time with yourself to write, to think, to plan.
Or, it could be reading something that inspires you.
Or going for a run.

Whatever it is for you, next time you get stuck, consider meditating on it…

Which Kind of Leadership?

February 11, 2018January 24, 2018 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Some situations require a general to inspire us to “take the hill”.
Some situations require someone from the group to lead, an informal leader.
Some situations simply require wisdom; the wisdom of Socrates, to simply ask the right question.

So easy to default to Option 1 and assume all situations require this. After all, so much of what we have learned about leadership comes from command and control training. Historically we idealized and idolized military leaders. While much can be learned from these great leaders of history, the world today is more nuanced.

And with that nuance, comes the opportunity to choose Option 2 and/or Option 3. Each move progressively toward the true meaning of empowerment, depending on the situation.

Our challenge is to read the situation and decide.

January Reflections Part I – A Temporal Moment

January 21, 2018January 19, 2018 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

I just finished reading Dan Pink’s latest book, When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing, which likely explains why I am focused on the meaning of January. January 1, no surprise, is a temporal moment and Dan’s research supports this. We make resolutions on January 1, and for those of us who belong to a gym, we witness the end of those resolutions, sometime around Valentine’s Day.

Yet, for those amongst us who focus on both what and when, according to Dan, we are more likely to turn a “resolution” into a commitment. I love the simple story Dan shares about Jerry Seinfeld’s writing habit. Jerry writes daily, he doesn’t judge the daily writing he just does it. Jerry prints out the calendar for the entire year and each day, he puts a big X on the day to mark off the writing. And, after a time, he has so many X’s he is committed. Research says, 21 days is what it takes to create a habit. Jerry say’s it looking at all those X’s, the chain it creates, that inspires him.

Dan also tells us that midpoints matter. Today is about midway from resolution beginning to likely ending, close enough, to ask yourself these questions:

What did you promise yourself you would do for yourself this year?
Is this promise still top of mind?
If not, is it something you still want?
If these promises matter to you, what actions are you willing take to turn them from resolutions to habits that extend beyond Valentine’s Day?
What is your equivalent of Jerry’s writing habit that you are willing to monitor with a calendar of “X’s”?

It’s All About The Ride

January 7, 2018January 4, 2018 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Occasionally there are small moments in life that leave a lasting impact. As I think about my intentions for the new year, I am reminded of one of those small incidents, years ago. I was sitting on a bench at the old Union Station. An old man sat down next to me and we engaged in conversation. I asked him where he was headed and he replied with glee, “San Francisco!”

“Wow”, I said, “that is a long way to go on the train.” His reply: “There is as much fun in getting there as there is in being there.”

This man’s answer has stayed with me and I often think of him in these situations:

When I am too focused on getting to the outcome
When it’s time to pause
When it’s time to remember to be in the moment

In The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World, by Desmond Tutu and Dalai Lama, these two amazing seers, inspire us with their tales of being in the moment and experiencing joy, even in the face of adversity.

I wonder if my traveling acquaintance, from many years ago, realized that he had seized on the secret to joy.

Perhaps something to consider in the new year?