Good Intentions

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

One of the key things we learn as coaches is the Socratic Method. Stay in a questioning mode and let people come to their own answers.

Most humans want to make a difference and have an impact on others. Sometimes when we want to be in service, it is tempting to tell others what they need to do. And, yet, the impact of giving advice can often have the exact opposite result.

The thing is, we all hear through our own filter. And sometimes, what we intend and what is heard are often not the same.

I have learned, and continue to learn, the hidden benefit of questioning, i.e., our filter becomes visible.

Telling is passive; I can choose to take it in or not; I can react or not.

On the other hand, when I am asked a question, the engagement is active. I am a participant, and I have the opportunity to pause and consider rather than react and respond.

No surprise that Socrates had the influence he did as a man of few words.

Turbulent Times

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Once again, the financial markets are adding to the uncertainty as we muddle our way through the third year of COVID. At the same time, we read that retail sales outperformed expectations in January while supply chain challenges continue.

What to do? 

As the adage goes, we can’t control what happens around us; we can only control how we respond. 

While we would like to believe we can separate ourselves from what is happening to us, we know that, at least for most of us, that isn’t so. Losses in our life affect our well-being. And, financial losses, business or personal, can impact our sense of well-being and, therefore, our health.

On the flip side, what about when things are consistently good for an extended period of time? Do we become complacent? Life is good, so why not enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. And, when does enjoyment become an adverse health factor?

One of my clients shared the following story with me. 

Each time his business hits a tough cycle, competitors exit, and his company dips. At the same time, his well-being was impacted, feeling depressed and losing weight, yet he continued to focus on health and fitness. Then the company survives and thrives again with new achievements. 

When things are on an upswing, he begins to relax; life feels good, he feels good. He finds himself eating, traveling, enjoying more, and gaining weight. Again, he is mindful of his behavior and begins to focus on health and hygiene.

My sense is his business recovery consistently outperforms his peers because he continues to take care of his mental and physical hygiene when things look their bleakest and when things look their brightest.

I am grateful to him for reminding me that maintaining our mental and physical health is a balancing act that ebbs and flows and to be mindful of the impact of both ups and downs.

What Are You Doing In The Shower?

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

Strange question for a post about leadership, eh? Here’s why I ask…. Used to be, we got our best ideas in the shower. Today, most of us are on the run. So much so that instead of just taking a shower, we are busy planning what is next; thinking about what has to get done.

And if we are in motion all day long, even during what used to be called down time, what is the cost?

  • To our businesses, to our creativity, to ourselves?
  • What opportunities are we missing by focusing only on what is urgent?
  • What might be the result if we allowed time for reflection?

Leadership Quote: Where You Stand Depends on Where You Sit

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Reprising my shameless self-promotion in case you missed it. In October, I was a guest on the Northern Trust Advisors Podcast, and I just learned that this podcast made their top ten for 2021. So exciting! Here’s a link if you want to listen to a 1.5-minute excerpt. 

Rufus Miles, an American government administrator in the 20th century, is the originator and namesake of the aphorism “Where you stand depends on where you sit.”  As with most great quotes, it is as relevant today as it was then.

This message was driven home to me when I spent an evening with nine women who began our careers in the ’70s and ’80s. All of us were at the gathering at the invitation of one of the people present, i.e., we all knew at least one person and none of us knew everyone. We talked about many things and then serendipitously began to share stories about challenges early in our careers. In the spirit of full disclosure, the stories mostly were about challenges of being young women faced with inappropriate situations in male-dominated companies.

A few days later, I talked with a male colleague, a longtime friend, and mentor. I told him about our shared history conversation and the direction it took. After telling him a few of the stories, he shared his own stories from the other side. Such as when he was in a leadership position and falsely accused, offered sexual favors, etc. I was struck by the reminder that the more we share, the more common ground we find. And that these stories are really about the personal side of business.

Like my women colleagues and me, my male colleague had his own stories to tell. We talked about how these stories shape us, and that for women and people of color, because of the power equation, sometimes they shape us more.

I was struck by the value of shared histories in creating connections and overcoming stereotypes.

Wouldn’t it be cool to sit at a table with men and women and people of all colors and backgrounds and tell our shared histories of career and life challenges that shape the people and leaders we have become…?

When S.M.A.R.T. Goals Don’t Work, Iterate

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Thank you for allowing this shameless self-promotion before today’s story. In October, I was a guest on the Northern Trust Advisors Podcast, and I just learned that this podcast made their top ten for 2021. So exciting! Here’s a link if you want to listen to a 1.5-minute excerpt. 

When SMART Goals aren’t working, try iterating instead.  

Following is a success story from the medical field. Perhaps it’s worth trying in the business world? The common theme, of course, is we humans are part of both scenarios. 

Kyra Bobiner, MD, developed a diet management program for the CDC to improve their diabetes prevention program. Drawing on her neuroscience training, Dr. Bobiner’s set out to find a diet management solution to close the gap between intention and action. She discovered that an iterative approach, which she calls the Iterative Mindset, helped her patients permanently replace bad habits with healthy, life-affirming ones. 

Bobiner worked with patients who previously tried unsuccessfully to make the necessary lifestyle changes to improve their health. “These people faced every possible headwind of financial and social stress — single parenting, working two jobs, and limited access to healthy food — yet they lost weight and improved their health. The common link between them was an Iterative Mindset, a resilient way of thinking that helped them approach behavior change like an experiment — with curiosity, innovation, and no self-blame if the first iteration didn’t work out as planned.”

If we buy into Dr. Bobiner’s approach, does this mean we should give up on SMART Goals? Or are there times when SMART goals, i.e., a Performance Mindset is a more effective approach, and other times when an Iterative Mindset is more effective? 

SMART goals are all about measurement and tracking. This approach works well for well-defined, short-term tasks, and most importantly, actions that do not require behavior change. On the other hand, when our intention is less clear, and the outcome requires innovation or behavior change, an Iterative Mindset will likely win. 

In summary, Bobiner’s success is a reminder that the scientific method, particularly trial and error experiments, works for behavior modification and business innovation just as it does for health and science. 

Was Fraud The Intent or the Outcome?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Thank you for allowing this shameless self-promotion before today’s story. In October, I was a guest on the Northern Trust Advisors Podcast, and I just learned that this podcast made their top ten for 2021. So exciting! Here’s a link if you want to listen to a 1.5-minute excerpt. 

Psychologists, anthropologists, everyone who studies the human brain tells us we are hardwired to respond to stories.

A while back, I watched two documentaries chronicling stories told by storytellers who were later indicted for fraud, Billy McFarland, founder of Fyre Media and creator of the Fyre Festival, and Elizabeth Holmes, founder of Theranos. 

Perhaps because I watched them back to back, I was struck by the common themes. Both founders passionately believed in their stories and told them well, so well, that investors and buyers flocked to them. 

We will never know whether these storytellers and others like them set out to commit fraud or whether they believed so passionately in their stories that they were blind to the facts. 

Regardless of their intent, their stories were compelling, and investors and customers bought in. 

This past week, a jury convicted Elizabeth Holmes of three counts of fraud. And Billy McFarland was convicted of two counts of fraud in 2018.

For me, these cases raise important questions for us as leaders: 

  1. When does confidence become hubris?
  2. How do we recognize the difference between believing in our vision and blind passion? 
  3. How do we ensure that we monitor and evaluate our endeavors and keep ourselves open to hearing and processing feedback that may be contrary to our beliefs?

Oops, I Wish I Hadn’t Said That, I Wish I Had Done This…

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

Back in elementary school, when playing sports, we often were allowed a ‘do-over.’ As we got older, coaches and teachers stopped allowing this. The ball had to be played where it was. I suspect the reason for this was to “prepare us for life.” And, so we learned, no ‘do-overs,’ if I screwed up or forgot to do something, too late, can’t fix it.

  • While there must be rules in games (no way to score if there are not), does everything in life have to play by these same rules?
  • What if when we said something we wished we hadn’t, we went back to the person and said, “I am sorry, I wish I hadn’t said that, what I wanted to say is this…”
  • What if when we wanted to do something, we went back and did it?

In short, what if we started with the premise that nothing in life is irreparable or irretrievable, except death. While indeed words matter, see my blog of this same name (Words Matter), actions speak loudly, and ‘do-overs’ are a great way to take action and demonstrate intent. 

Another way to think about it, it’s not what you do, it’s what you do next.

Leadership Quote: From Pandemic to Endemic

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

2021 ended with yet another year of living in a pandemic. As I begin this new year, I’ve been reflecting on one of The Economist’s predictions, “In 2022, we will see Covid 19 move from a pandemic to endemic.”

Over the last two years, we have become so accustomed to making life and business choices based on this pandemic that I wonder, if this prediction is correct, how long will it take for behaviors to change accordingly?

We tend to make choices based on what we know, and it’s convenient to accumulate a bank of knowledge and rely on that to make decisions. What happens, though, when what we know isn’t so anymore?

The changing nature of Covid, what to test, when to mask, what test to rely on, etc., is a reminder, what is so today, may not be so tomorrow.

Can we learn to accept Covid as part of our society, much like other contagious diseases? Can we learn to protect those at risk and share vaccines worldwide while not trying to stop the world in the process?

Can we keep some of the good we learned from these past two years, e.g., we can nurture relationships on Zoom, take precautions to prevent spreading viruses, trust people to work even when we can’t see them working?

And can the lessons of the Covid evolution teach us to pause and evaluate what we are so confident of today that may not be so tomorrow?

“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” Mark Twain