What If Instead, We Gave Feedback?

What If Instead, We Gave Feedback?

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

Opt 3 2014-03-16In my last post, I compared business to dating. Continuing that theme… Another similarity is “absent information, we make stuff up.” In the dating world, if he doesn’t call, we assume all kinds of things. Similarly with a prospect, an employee, a customer, a new connection.

And, most of the time when we don’t like how we perceive something went, we simply walk away. What if instead, we offered feedback?

Several months ago, I met a talented young entrepreneur through a mutual friend. Our mutual friend asked me to consider introducing her to some of my contacts. I am always very careful about making introductions, as I feel a responsibility to both parties. Long story short, I introduced her to a couple of friends and never heard anything more from any of the parties. I like to complete the circle, so I reached out and learned from my new contact that she had met with each of my friends and they were good meetings.

Shortly thereafter, my new contact asked for a second meeting and around that same time, I happened to speak with both of my friends. My friends had a story, similar to each other, but different from what I heard from my contact. Each of my friends came away feeling that my new contact had promised to send them something and never heard from her again.

New friend, only had a first date, while there was a spark, (see last week’s blog), my gut said, “no second date”‘. She didn’t treat my relationships with the same care as I do.

Instead, I did go on the second date, prodded by a friend who encouraged me to. I decided I had a responsibility to give my new friend feedback.

What ensued was a real conversation about the emotional wake we sometimes leave; the importance of focusing on what is important and the importance of perceptions. It was a defining moment for both of us. For me, being open to hearing feedback that was different from my perception; for her taking a pause and focusing on what matters.

She and I have become friends, not in spite of our conversation, but because of it. She has since told me that she has completely changed her approach to building her business, because of our conversation.

The next time something doesn’t go the way you want it to, with someone with whom you see potential, perhaps a new member of your team, someone you recently promoted, or someone you might do business with, would you consider giving feedback, instead of walking away?

Elisa K. Spain

 

When Was The Last Time You Went On A Date?

When Was The Last Time You Went On A Date?

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

Let´s get together

 

You are probably wondering why I am asking this question and what dating possibly has to do with a leadership blog…

Actually, this topic comes up frequently in my coaching sessions. Business it seems, is a lot like dating…

So, here are some dating and business best practices I’ve learned along the way:

  • Be authentic.
  • Be respectful.
  • Be clear on what you are looking for in a partner, a customer, an employee or a vendor.
  • Be clear what it is you bring to the table and be realistic. That high powered CFO may be great in a Fortune 500 company, but is she really what your $30mm company needs?
  • Put yourself in situations to meet new people that fit. No matter what anyone tells you, it’s not a game of numbers, it’s all about defining and measuring fit.
  • That wild guy or gal you wouldn’t bring home to Mom, is probably not going to be your SO or your best customer, no matter what he is willing to pay.
  • As soon as you meet “Mr. or Ms. right”, go out with someone else (when we get fixated on winning one partner, customer, employee, we can appear desperate. As Vistage speaker, Tom Searcy says, “play like you have nothing to lose.”
  • Go on a date with anyone once (okay, not someone you know is an ax murderer).
  • Go on a second date, if there was a spark of interest.
  • When she says she needs some time alone, or the prospect doesn’t get back to us right away, its not the time to call a day later and suggest coffee.
  • Once you have made a commitment, be committed.  Give your customer, employee, vendor a chance to right a wrong.
  • And.. when a relationship fails (or the service is consistently poor), don’t drag out the exit. End it, learn from your mistakes, decide what to look for next round and start the cycle again.

For an amusing, albeit somewhat crass, perspective on the subject:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/kristinchirico/ways-building-a-startup-is-just-like-dating

Elisa K. Spain

The Queen (Or King) Of Denial

The Queen (Or King) Of Denial

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

opt 8 Internet LLD-Queen-of-the-Nile-01001918There is a country music song entitled Cleopatra, Queen of Denial, recorded in 1993 by Pam Tillis. While the lyrics talk about a love relationship gone wrong (are there any country songs that don’t?), the title stayed with me because it reminds me sometimes of what I see in business.

What I observe is that both kings and queens of denial sometimes confuse optimism with denial. For example:

  • “Yes we are losing money and if we get that next deal, we will turn things around for good.”
  • “I know, Joe or Jane employee is not up to the challenge now that our company has grown, but I can make it work anyway.”
  • “We have always done it this way, if we continue to do things this same way, things will change.”
  • “Our business has grown about 4% YOY the last 10 years and this year, we will grow 20%, without any new capital.”
  • “I know the industry has matured, and prices have fallen as a result, but if we keep offering customized services, we will be able to command a higher price.”

I am sure you can think of others. And, my further observation is that denial is a powerful drug. As with most other drugs, the user won’t stop using until he or she is ready. No one can tell us we are in denial, we must see it for ourselves. One benefit Vistage members have is their chair and their fellow members will keep holding up that mirror until one day, we do.

 

Elisa K. Spain

 

 

Delivery ALWAYS Matters…

Delivery ALWAYS Matters…

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

Businessman testing a microphone about to make a speach at a press conferenceWhen the stakes are high, we prepare. Whether it is a presentation to a large audience or a meeting with a key client or prospective client, we know we will be more successful if we prepare.

  • What exactly does it mean “to prepare”?
  • When aren’t the stakes high?
  • When we focus on content and not on our audience, are we really prepared?

Last week, I had the opportunity to hear a speaker and deliver a presentation of my own, where in both cases, the content was outstanding and yet the message was not received well by most of the audience. These two experiences reminded me of two important facts:

Delivery always matters – It’s not enough to prepare our content. It is at least as important to consider the audience, prepare our delivery and adjust midstream as we read the audience reaction. Not easy to do, and yet, critical to having our message heard.

Prepare for every interaction as though the stakes are high, because they are – Every interaction with another human being, either as a group or with individuals, matters. When we are fully present, we listen, we adapt and thus can be effective.

 

Elisa K. Spain

Leadership Quote: We can't solve problems…

Leadership Quote: We can't solve problems…

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

someone's hand pressing a service bell what could they want                     This month’s leadership quote:

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

-Albert Einstein

Typically when we discover a problem, we bring together the same team that was involved when we first launched the new product, new division, new whatever, that led to the problem we are now facing.

What if instead, we asked people who weren’t involved at the beginning to look at the situation and give us questions to consider and offer possible solutions?

Perhaps you can gather a new team to look at the problem with fresh eyes.

Or, consider asking people outside your business.

Each month Vistage members have the opportunity to ask their private advisory board to bring that different kind of thinking to the challenges they face.

Wherever you choose to go when problems arise,  it’s that fresh view that leads to better results.

Elisa K. Spain

Why Now?

Why Now?

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

Hand writing Time to Adapt concept with red marker on transparent wipe board.Continuing the beginning of year theme of strategic planning. The question is, why diversify my business now, when everything is going so well?

Anyone who has hired an investment advisor knows, all of them advise first and foremost, to build a diversified portfolio. And, despite all the data supporting the long term benefit of diversification, some investors believe they can time the market. There are LOTS of stories in the investment press about the risks and consequences of market timing.

Those of you who are frequent readers know that my background is in financial services and investments and I often compare running a business to managing an investment portfolio. And, as with some stock market investors, when it comes to our businesses, we frequently ignore our advisors and the diversification advice they give. We have a great product or service, we are making money, we think “if it ain’t broke, why fix it?”.

Over the years, I have worked with a number of businesses and watched this process unfold…

Business is great, there are industry measures that indicate the product or service is maturing, but business still remains strong. Then suddenly (one could argue it wasn’t suddenly), it isn’t strong anymore, in fact, the business has gone from significant profits to losses, seemingly overnight.

The thing about income statements is they are lagging indicators. If we ignore other key indicators, especially the external industry trends, it is easy to be lulled into market timing behavior. And as with market timers, by the time the CEO realizes the market has turned, it is often too late to adjust without incurring significant losses.

As you continue your planning for 2014 strategic actions, I encourage you to pause and ask yourself the following questions:

  • What are the trends in our industry; where is our industry in its business life cycle?
  • How does our product/service compare to others in the industry; are we a leader or a follower?
  • What is our current level of product/service diversification; where would we like it to be?
  • What new product or service can we begin development on this year that will replace our core offerings in the future?

 

Elisa K. Spain

Strategic Lessons From David & Goliath For 2014 Planning

Strategic Lessons From David & Goliath For 2014 Planning

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

Option 2 D and GAs you put the final touches on your business plans for 2014, or for that matter, your personal plans, I suggest a read or a listen to Malcolm Gladwell’s Latest Book, David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants. 

The book is not about how the weak rise up and triumph over the strong, as you might expect given the title. Rather, the book is about how throughout history, people succeed not in spite of, but because of their disadvantages.

Gladwell begins the book with his own interpretation of the David and Goliath story describing David’s triumph as a function of his going into battle using methods unique to him, (i.e. working in his genius as I am fond of saying), fighting Goliath with a sling shot rather than hand to hand, as was the norm. David takes advantage of his small size and wins because he was innovative and confident.

Throughout the book, Gladwell points to examples of successful inventions and innovations that happened because entrepreneurs who, like David, were perceived as disadvantaged, used their disadvantage to win.

So, as you think about how you might win against the Goliaths in your industry, I encourage you to consider the following questions:

  • What do you perceive as your competitive disadvantages?
  • How might you turn these disadvantages into true competitive advantages?

Here is a 15 minute Ted Talk from Gladwell to inspire your thinking.

 

 

Elisa K. Spain

Leadership Quote: If I Had Only One Hour To Save The World…

Leadership Quote: If I Had Only One Hour To Save The World…

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

2013-11-24 iStock_000027536746XSmallThis month’s leadership quote:

“If I had only one hour to save the world, I would spend fifty-five minutes defining the problem, and only five minutes finding the solution.”

-Albert Einstein

How often do we jump in and start solving things before we know what the problem is? When we process issues in Vistage, the set goal is question, question, question until the person whose issue it is finds their own way to the solution. And yet, it is so tempting to jump in with answers. Socrates, like Einstein, tells us that wisdom comes from asking the better questions, defining the problem.

Perhaps us lesser mortals, have the opportunity to be just as wise…by pausing, asking questions, defining the problem, and letting the solution emerge rather than be told.

 

Elisa K. Spain

 

What Are You Willing To Give Up?

What Are You Willing To Give Up?

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

White finish line text and lane on red running trackWhat are you willing to give up to get what you want? This is a question I often ask my Vistage members and coaching clients.

One of my favorite books on marketing, admittedly an old one, is The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing by Ries and Trout. For me, many of these 22 laws are relevant to life as well as marketing. Law #13, The Law of Sacrifice – You have to give up something in order to get something, resonates for me in making life choices.

What I notice in my conversations with my clients is those that are willing to let go of something…. are those that move forward. They invent the new products, hire the person that is going to make the difference, take the next job or start the next business. These people are willing to give up something to get what they want.

The ‘give up’ may be something we believe, it may be fear (of failing, being wrong), or simply a comfort level with what we have or what we know. The ‘give up’ may be tangible, dollars that may end up as a sunk cost; or accepting that a long term loyal employee is not going to be the one to take the company forward.

In short, when we are talking about giving up something to get what we want, the key questions are these:

  • How much do I really want the “something” I say I want?
  • What am I willing to give up to get it?

Elisa K. Spain

Are There Subtitles In Your Conversations?

Are There Subtitles In Your Conversations?

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

2013-11-03 what_a_jerkEver wish your conversations had subtitles?

How often do we begin what seems like a casual conversation, only to realize that something has happened. Emotion has entered and we are no longer talking about the subject at hand. Yet, we keep trying to talk about the casual subject while our thoughts wander to the meta message.

There is a scene in Annie Hall that I often think about when this happens.

We see in this film clip, a classic first date, where both of them are saying one thing and thinking something totally different. Their thoughts are shown as subtitles. What makes this scene so memorable is that these subtitles or “meta messages” frequently occur in conversation, including business conversations. And, in life, there aren’t any subtitles.

In the film, Annie Hall chose to end both the conversation and the meta messages by reminding Woody Allen that he had to leave.

In my experience, the more history we have with another person, the more likely we are to step on historical land mines in the course of our conversations. Ending the conversation and continuing later is an option. If the conversation becomes heated, sometimes this is the best option. Alternatively, we have an option to pause and talk about the meta message. In other words, have a conversation about the conversation. 

‘Meta’ from Greek is a prefix which means ‘about’ or ‘beyond’.

Here’s how you might move from a conversation that’s getting difficult to a meta-conversation:

  1. Pause. Once you observe either you or the other person is feeling anything other than neutral.
  2. Name what you observe, about each of your viewpoints, e.g. I have the sense we started out talking about the agenda for our next meeting, and there is something else on the table.
  3. Follow the Vistage model, stay in a questioning mode, “What is it about the next meeting that is giving you concern?”
  4. Keep your language neutral. Stay away from the 5 “fighting words”. “You” (use I), “Always” (use frequently), “Never” (use seldom), “But” (use and) “Why” (use what).
  5. Work toward mutual understanding, rather than being right.
  6. Allow the other person to respond. I find that restating what I believe I just heard is helpful. And, then continuing to stay in a questioning mode.

And, allow the possibility that the intended conversation may have to wait until another day.

 

Elisa K. Spain