One of the key things we learn in Vistage is the Socratic Method. Stay in a questioning mode and let people come to their own answers.
Most humans want to make a difference, have an impact somehow on others. Sometimes when we want to be in service, it is so tempting to tell others what they need to do. It seems so obvious to us. And, yet, the impact of giving advice can often have the exact opposite result.
The thing is…we all hear through our own filter and what is intended and what is heard are often not the same.
What I have learned, and continue to learn, is there is a hidden benefit of questioning, the filter becomes visible. Telling is passive; I can take it in or not; I can react or not. On the other hand, when I am asked a question, the engagement is active. I am a participant and I have the opportunity to pause and consider, rather than react and respond.