I Me Mine

This blog, by guest blogger, Greg Bustin, business advisor, author, and fellow Vistage chair, tells the poignant story of the Beatles breakup. 

This story is a wonderful reminder of the importance of aligning our values and goals with our purpose, and most importantly our relationships.  And, it also reminds us that while values seldom change, goals and purpose evolve and therefore so must our relationships.

Elisa K Spain

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As 1968 became 1969, George Harrison felt as if the Beatles “were reaching the end of the line.”

While it may have been twenty years ago that Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play, in the 16 months since that landmark album’s release, the Beatles had morphed from collaborative colleagues into bickering bandmates barely able to stomach studio sessions together.

“Sgt. Pepper was our grandest endeavor,” Ringo remembered. “It gave everybody—including me—a lot of leeway to come up with ideas and to try different material.…The great thing about the band was that whoever had the best idea—it didn’t matter who—that was the one we’d use.…Anything could happen.”

And anything did.

While recording their ninth studio album—The Beatles (known also as the White Album)—the creative forces that propelled Sgt. Pepper to the top of UK and U.S. album charts for 27 weeks and earned the group four Grammy awards boiled over into acrimony.

 Songs written collaboratively earlier that year were recorded without all four of the Beatles present. The presence of John’s new partner Yoko Ono created a divisive distraction that violated previous agreements among the Beatles that wives and girlfriends would not attend recording sessions.

 As the tension mounted, producer George Martin took a sudden leave of absence and engineer Geoff Emerick quit abruptly. Ringo left the band briefly around this time, and three of the album’s songs were recorded without him.

 The finished album reflects this developing discord, and some tracks are little more than fillers between higher quality songs. And yet The Beatles reached number one in the UK and US and contains some of the group’s best material.

How can we rise above pettiness, selfishness and genuine differences of opinion to come together to produce a worthwhile or significant result?

Of the album’s 30 tracks, only 16 include all four of the Beatles performing together.

 On three tracks, Paul played bass, drums, piano, and guitar, overdubbing tracks to create the final song. John worked alone on one song. As did Ringo. Of the 14 songs on which only some of the Beatles played, nearly half were performed by only two of the four group members.

The Beatles were a group in name only. And a bad sign of things to come.

High-performing teams share five characteristics, and the Beatles were challenged by all five

  1. Clear common goals
  2. Clear roles
  3. Clear deadlines
  4. Trust + Respect
  5. Fun or Fulfillment in accomplishing something significant together

Which of these five critical success factors must we enhance in our organization?

The group gathered in January 1969 to make another album.

Paul hoped playing together live in the studio might lead to resuming touring. George hated the idea—he was worn out from that experience.  

It didn’t take long for old tensions to surface. George and Ringo resented Paul’s constant critiquing of their playing. John had disengaged from the group, having grown weary of battling Paul and fed up with over-engineered and over-produced recordings.

On January 6, George walked out of the studio, went to his home in Surrey and wrote “Wah-Wah,” reflecting his frustration with the group.

George was coaxed back the next week but the damage was done—and caught on film. The group’s dysfunction is plainly visible in the film Let It Be. Rather than documenting the making of an album, the film became famous for showcasing “the break-up of a band.”

 George’s “I Me Mine” became the final song recorded by the band before its split.

 In his autobiography, George recalled his own self-centered focus, seeing everything “relative to my ego, like ‘that’s my piece of paper’ and ‘that’s my flannel’ or ‘give it to me’ or ‘I am.’ It drove me crackers, I hated everything about my ego. It was a flash of everything false and impermanent, which I disliked. But later, I learned from it, to realize that there is somebody else in here apart from old blabbermouth. Who am ‘I’ became the order of the day. Anyway, that’s what came out of it, ‘I Me Mine.’”

 Perhaps subconsciously, the song also reflects the clash of egos in the studio as the Beatles moved toward their split.

“‘I Me Mine’ is the ego problem,” George explained. “There are two ‘I’s: the little ‘i’ when people say ‘I am this’, and the big ‘I’ – is duality and ego. There is nothing that isn’t part of the complete whole. When the little ‘i’ merges into the big ‘I’ then you are really smiling!”

George’s epiphany offers insight for us as a New Year dawns.

 “The truth within us has to be realized,” George said. “When you realize that, everything else that you see and do and touch and smell isn’t real, then you may know what reality is, and can answer the question ‘Who am I?’”

 What kind of person do you want to be?  What obstacles are in your way? 

Two of the hardest questions any of us must answer for ourselves are “Who am I?” and “What do I want?”  Here’s to your clarity. 

The Power of Not Knowing

Many of us as leaders, especially new leaders, feel we must have all the answers. Some even feel a sense of shame when asked a question, by a client or an employee, and they don’t have the answer.

And, despite these feelings of inadequacy most of us have felt at one time or another, I also hear stories of the magic of saying “I don’t know”.

One of my favorite stories came from one of my clients who grew up in his family business.

I met this man ten years ago and before I knew him, he had worked every job in the company and truly had all the answers. In fact, he was the answer man. Everyone came to him when they needed help figuring out what to do next. This worked fine when he was on the line and even when he was the operations manager.

By the time I met him, he was president of the company and being the answer man wasn’t working so well. He was so focused on solving everyone’s problems and making sure everything was done right in the factory, that he was not doing the job of President. He wasn’t focused on strategy, nor was he meeting with customers, nor was he innovating or coaching (answering folks questions ≠ coaching).

One day after we had talked about his frustration in one of our coaching sessions, he had an idea. He decided starting today, when folks came to his office, he would begin saying “I don’t know”. At first his team became annoyed with him. Over time, they stopped asking.

Today his company is filled with competent executives that run their operations effectively. So effectively that the company has doubled in size and he works fewer hours than he did when the company was half its size.

For some of us, we actually don’t know, others, like this man, do.

In either case, what are we giving up by wanting to, trying to, have all the answers rather than allowing others discover the answers themselves?

Why Vistage Works

Elisa K. Spain

Begin At The Very Beginning

I am often in conversation with people I coach where the person is focused on action. I hear things like…

  • I am experiencing turnover, what can I do to stop or reduce it?
  • Not sure if my people feel valued or are contributing to their full potential?
  • We have a diverse group, wondering how do I get them to bond and behave like a team?

Much has been written including various techniques to answer these questions. While these are important questions, and I am sure techniques for monitoring and evaluating these challenges are valuable, for me, it is difficult to address these issues without a pause. For me, asking these questions is starting in the middle rather than starting at the beginning.

If we were to start at the beginning, these are questions I would ask:

  • What is the purpose of this team or workgroup?
  • What do I as the leader expect, what is my vision of success?
  • Do I and the team have a shared vision of success?

Once these questions are answered, then we can begin to address the questions above. For example,

  • Does each member of the team understand and support the team purpose?
  • Does the team feel ownership for the project or work effort?
  • Did the people who exited fit the team purpose? If so, did they understand it?
  • Do the team members need each other to succeed, or are they actually a workgroup with individual expectations?

There are many more questions to add to the second list, and the answers only become useful when we begin at the very beginning.

Why Vistage Works

Elisa K. Spain

Making the Most of Downtime

When was the last time you wasted time? When you were “wasting time,” did you feel joyful and creative, or — if you’re like me, did you feel even a tiny bit guilty for “being unproductive?” How much better might it have been, how much more would you have enjoyed your time — how much more would you have gotten out of it — if you didn’t feel guilty about it or feel the need to explain it?

Here’s a fact: wasting time is a key part of our lives.

However, wasting time poorly is a sin (or whichever word you prefer), because not only are you forgoing the productivity, generosity and art that comes from work, but you’re also giving up the downtime, experimentation and joy that comes from wasting time.

If you’re going to waste time (and I hope you will), please do it well; and find inspiration by nurturing your butterflies within.

Why Vistage Works

Elisa K. Spain

The Quality of Bending Easily Without Breaking

When I began this blog about flexibility, I googled the definition and the first definition that came up was this: the quality of bending easily without breaking. 

Which begs the question, how can we as managers find a way to bend our expectations to accommodate different styles of work, without breaking our culture?

It’s become a new trend for CEOs to require folks, who previously worked at home, to come to the office. The reason given is culture.

But, what about the high performing employee who prefers to work on their own schedule, at least for a few days a week? What are the consequences to this person’s performance when they must adhere to this new structure?

The thing I am reminded of each day is despite our common humanity, our styles vary. Some of us like structure, others feel more comfortable with variety. While the need for flexibility is attributed as a common trait amongst millennials, my experience, as with most of our differences, is that personality style is the driver. For example, introverts prefer a quiet work environment, extroverts want people around them and want to engage throughout the day.

Which brings me back to the question, what do each of us need to do to bend our expectations and structure to accommodate different styles without breaking our culture? Perhaps if you ask, your team may have the answer.

Why Vistage Works

Elisa K. Spain

 

Meditate On It

What Do You Do When You Get Stuck?

We’ve all been there. Working on a project and we just can’t seem to get to completion. Or at least not to a completion we are satisfied with. The project could be something short term, an assignment for a client, writing the next blog, or it could be something big,  perhaps a life decision.

  • Some of us power through, get to an acceptable answer and move on.
  • Some of us pause, ruminate, perhaps even beat ourselves up for not getting to the “right” answer, or even stop completely.

Whichever is your default modus operandi, I invite you to consider this one: meditate on it.  

Meditation can be…

  • Sitting quietly in the traditional form of meditation, perhaps for a day or a week or even more, depending on the scope of the challenge.
  • Scheduling what one of my clients refers to as, “library time”.  Scheduling time with yourself to write, to think, to plan.
  • Or, it could be reading something that inspires you.
  • Or going for a run.

Whatever it is for you, next time you get stuck, consider meditating on it…

Why Vistage Works

Elisa K. Spain

Which Kind of Leadership?

  1. Some situations require a general to inspire us to “take the hill”.
  2. Some situations require someone from the group to lead, an informal leader.
  3. Some situations simply require wisdom; the wisdom of Socrates, to simply ask the right question.

So easy to default to Option 1 and assume all situations require this. After all, so much of what we have learned about leadership comes from command and control training. Historically we idealized and idolized military leaders. While much can be learned from these great leaders of history, the world today is more nuanced.

And with that nuance, comes the opportunity to choose Option 2 and/or Option 3. Each move progressively toward the true meaning of empowerment, depending on the situation.

Our challenge is to read the situation and decide.

 

Why Vistage Works

Elisa K. Spain

January Reflections Part II – Bold Subtraction

As January draws to a close, and we perhaps reflect on the goals we set, perhaps even create a new habit or two like Jerry Seinfeld (January Reflections Part I), is it also time to reflect on the nature of our goals?

Most of us tend to think in terms of additions.

  • What new thing do we want to do?
  • Where do we want to go?
  • What new accomplishments do we want to achieve?

The challenge with adding, and not subtracting is, for most of us, there simply isn’t room. So, before you give up and join the ranks of folks exiting the gym before Valentine’s Day; or simply stop setting goals, as one of my clients recently said, “I put the same things on my goal list every year, seems silly to bother”, is it time to consider instead, a bold subtraction?

Here are some questions that may help answer the bold subtraction question:

  • What did I give only my time, and not my passion, to last year?
  • How does this answer compare to previous years?
  • If my passion/time ratio has declined, what do I need to do or learn to change this? Do I have the desire to make the energy and or $$ investment to do so?
  • If I boldly subtracted this passionless activity from my life, am I willing to go bravely forward not knowing, rather discovering, what I will replace it with?

Why Vistage Works

Elisa K. Spain

January Reflections Part I – A Temporal Moment

I just finished reading Dan Pink’s latest book, When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing, which likely explains why I am focused on the meaning of January.  January 1, no surprise, is a temporal moment and Dan’s research supports this. We make resolutions on January 1, and for those of us who belong to a gym, we witness the end of those resolutions, sometime around Valentine’s Day.

Yet, for those amongst us who focus on both what and whenaccording to Dan, we are more likely to turn a “resolution” into a commitment.  I love the simple story Dan shares about Jerry Seinfeld’s writing habit. Jerry writes daily, he doesn’t judge the daily writing he just does it.  Jerry prints out the calendar for the entire year and each day, he puts a big X on the day to mark off the writing. And, after a time, he has so many X’s he is committed. Research says, 21 days is what it takes to create a habit. Jerry say’s it looking at all those X’s, the chain it creates, that inspires him.

Dan also tells us that midpoints matter. Today is about midway from resolution beginning to likely ending, close enough, to ask yourself these questions:

  • What did you promise yourself you would do for yourself this year?
  • Is this promise still top of mind?
  • If not, is it something you still want?
  • If these promises matter to you, what actions are you willing take to turn them from resolutions to habits that extend beyond Valentine’s Day?
  • What is your equivalent of Jerry’s writing habit that you are willing to monitor with a calendar of “X’s”?

Why Vistage Works

Elisa K. Spain

It’s All About The Ride

Occasionally there are small moments in life that leave a lasting impact. As I think about my intentions for the new year, I am reminded of one of those small incidents, years ago. I was sitting on a bench at the old Union Station. An old man sat down next to me and we engaged in conversation. I asked him where he was headed and he replied with glee, “San Francisco!”

“Wow”, I said, “that is a long way to go on the train.” His reply: “There is as much fun in getting there as there is in being there.”

This man’s answer has stayed with me and I often think of him in these situations:

  • When I am too focused on getting to the outcome
  • When it’s time to pause
  • When it’s time to remember to be in the moment

In The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World, by Desmond Tutu and Dalai Lama, these two amazing seers, inspire us with their tales of being in the moment and experiencing joy, even in the face of adversity.

I wonder if my traveling acquaintance, from many years ago, realized that he had seized on the secret to joy.

Perhaps something to consider in the new year?

Why Vistage Works

Elisa K. Spain