Is It Time to Wait or Time to Act?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

A once well-known brand, Paul Masson wine, is best remembered for its 1970s marketing association with Orson Wells, who promised on behalf of Masson: “We will sell no wine before its time.” In this ad, Wells is discovered by the camera listening to Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony, “It took Beethoven four years to write that symphony” Wells says, “Some things can’t be rushed. Good music… and good wine”.

Steve Jobs was famous for delaying production and, ultimately, the release of products until he was satisfied that the design met his goal. He was reputed to have sent his product development team back to the drawing board, time after time, to get the design exactly as he wanted it, e.g., perhaps the most well-known example, “just one button.” 

On the other hand, in 2012, Elon Musk forever changed the automobile landscape when the first Tesla rolled off the assembly line. At the time, many believed this car was sold “before it was time.”

When considering a transition or pursuing something I want, I remind myself to reflect on these stories and ask:

Is it time to wait or time to act?

What Is the Leadership Message in All Quiet on the Western Front?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Last night my husband and I watched All Quiet on the Western Front. It was my idea to watch it because it has already won several awards and was nominated for several Oscars, including best picture. Right from the start, I wanted to turn it off and yet felt compelled to continue. 

This movie was graphic and harrowing; I think it felt real because of this. For two and a half hours, it was as if we were on the front lines, experiencing the horror while somehow safely tucked away from harm.

The book was required reading for most high school students of my generation. Upon reflection, I wonder why? Was it an attempt to prepare young men called to fight in Vietnam? Was it a silent protest on the part of educators? I don’t know, and I couldn’t find an explanation in my research. 

It’s a story of humanity and the loss of humanity while at the same time a story of leadership. Not the traditional message that military leaders are the best leadership examples and should therefore be role models. Instead, it portrays all types of leaders, fallible humans, capable leaders, and those that are completely incompetent. Most importantly, the writers showed us the human cost of hubris. 

I always remembered the book, especially the scene when the protagonist is in the trench with a French soldier. The movie brought home the message of humanity even more.

Sadly, as the horrors of war continue today in Ukraine and elsewhere, the following quote from Einstein reminds us how far we have not come.

“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts, and his feelings as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

Perhaps the message the author and the screenwriters are sending is:

It is time for those of us who have the responsibility and the honor to lead to also take on the responsibility to practice humanity.

How Do You Define Professional?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

I am a member of a peer group of other coaches. Each month, one of our members poses a thought question to the group. Recently, he asked, “How do you define professional?”.

As intended, both the question and the answers caused me to pause. The answers included:

  • Respectful and honest
  • Speaking candidly while being kind
  • Keeping my self-awareness higher than my self-confidence
  • It depends on the circumstances; what may be professional in one case may be considered unprofessional in another
  • Showing up and doing your best even when you are tired, stressed, or otherwise dealing with challenges in your life

This last response triggered a memory for me.

Years ago, a woman I knew told me she learned her father had suddenly died just as she was about to go on stage to give a speech. She proudly told me that she put on a smile, went on stage, delivered her speech, and afterward sat down and cried.

I felt unsettled about her choice, and her comments stayed with me.

  • Was this “professional” or something else?
  • When does our desire to “be professional” overtake our responsibility for self-care?
  • How do we recognize the difference and apply the “it depends on the circumstances answer?”

Does Style Matter?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Many tools are available for assessing personality style, each having its nuance. With few exceptions, these assessments produce a matrix of 4 primary personalities.

These personality styles result from an understanding of extroversion vs. introversion and the relationship of each type to detail orientation. Add to this a person’s propensity to focus on an outcome or seek harmony.

In my experience, no matter what your leadership role is, knowing and understanding your own style and that of each person you work with is the key to achieving the results you want.

I recently had a conversation with a friend that drove this home for me again. My friend is an advisor to the CEO of a large company. This company is in the midst of a reorganization, and my friend is struggling with one of the new organization’s leaders. As we talked through the situation, it became clear to both of us that the root cause of her challenge was style. She is outcome-focused; he is harmony-focused; she is an introvert (goes within to process); he is an extrovert (processes out loud). 

The result: he is talking too much from her perspective; she is trying to move the project forward; he has unresolved fears and is resisting.

Once she realized their style differences were causing her challenge, she had the answer; I could see it on her face. We then moved into a more extended discussion about the characteristics of each primary style and then a plan of action.

Bottom line. When I struggle to communicate, and I pause long enough to get some perspective, I’ve come to realize the answer always is: I need to modify my style to adapt to the other person’s style. Easier said than done, I know, and like everything else, it’s a journey.

What Do You Do When You Feel Stuck?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

We’ve all been there. We are working on a project and can’t get to completion. Or not to a completion for which we are satisfied The project could be something short-term, an assignment for a client, writing the next blog, or it could be something big, perhaps a life decision.

  • Some of us power through, get to an acceptable answer and move on.
  • Some of us pause, ruminate, beat ourselves up for not getting the “right” answer, or even stop altogether.

Whatever your default modus operandi, I invite you to consider an alternative: meditate on it.

Meditation can be

  • Sitting quietly in the traditional form of meditation for a few minutes today, for several days, weeks, or even more, depending on the scope of the challenge.
  • Scheduling what one of my clients refers to as “library time,” time with yourself to write, think, and plan.
  • Or, it could be reading something that inspires you, going for a walk or going for a run.

Whatever it is for you, next time you get stuck, consider meditating on it.

Are You Making a Pearl?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

I was sitting with a client this week who was feeling unsettled and a bit stuck. Further, she had been feeling this way for some time and was frustrated that she hadn’t figured out what to do about it. 

As I listened to her, knowing that she is an action-oriented person, my intuition was that she wasn’t stuck; rather, she is going through a process of development and change and figuring out her tomorrow story. 

And, then I thought, hmm, that’s what an oyster does when it makes a pearl. 

According to the American Museum of Natural History, a pearl forms within the shell of an oyster when an irritant becomes trapped in the mollusk.

As we discussed this more, she realized that when she felt this way in the past, it led to a pivot. Ah ha. 

We seldom change without a catalyst. And sometimes, that catalyst makes us uncomfortable and becomes an irritant we wish would go away. Yet, when it doesn’t, we might very well be forming a pearl. 

Opportunity or Emptiness

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Several years ago, my husband and I began an annual tradition of welcoming the new year by purging, shredding, scanning, throwing away, and donating stuff.

For me, less stuff opens up possibilities. Less stuff gives us the freedom to choose to go where we want, now or in the future. As I see it, getting rid of stuff opens up space to expand and more easily see and access the things that bring me joy and, in some cases, exchange the old for the new.

For others, stuff is what connects them to the past. They see a void rather than an opening without stuff tightly filling a space. They feel a loss to mourn or a fear of what the future might hold.

Opportunity or emptiness? Abundance or scarcity? These are questions to ask ourselves as we choose to lighten our collection of stuff (or not).

The Fresh Start Effect

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Temporal landmarks inspire us to reflect on our lives in a big-picture way motivating us to set goals for better behavior. 

Researchers describe this phenomenon as the fresh-start effect. According to the fresh-start effect, people are likelier to take action toward a goal after temporal landmarks. Psychologists studying the fresh-start effect show that it works because highlighting meaningful occasions creates a clean slate for people to make better decisions. 

This week is one of those important temporal landmarks. A new year, a new beginning, an opportunity to choose:

  • What matters to me? What am I willing to change or stop so that what matters to me gets my attention?
  • What important thing have I been neglecting? Health perhaps?
  • What actions am I willing to take to turn my resolutions into actions and my actions into habits that extend beyond Valentine’s Day?