Strategy | Elisa K. Spain

Planting The Seed

May 6, 2018May 1, 2018 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Today’s post is offered by guest blogger and fellow Vistage Chair, Steve Larrick.

As leaders, we develop our own styles, and ways of getting things done over our careers. What works against us at times is that early success in leading others and in getting things done convinces us that our ways and methods are the one best way. Quoting Bill Gates, “Success is a lousy teacher. It convinces smart people that they can’t make mistakes.” I have observed over time many leaders who pronounce or dictate a course of action with the result that his or her subjects follow that course. Their own experience is that the smart leader has always been right. They bury their own reservations.

The Socratic method of using questions is one way to change the pattern of leadership communication. However, if overused, that method can become annoying to the listener. Another way to approach this is what I call planting the seed. Suggesting in conversation that the leader has a thought about a course of action but not pressing for agreement or compliance. Then the leader lets the seed idea “germinate” until a decision must be made. An astute follower will consider the “planted” seed in a subsequent conversation and either agree to it or have a well-built case for taking another course. It causes the follower to think without being “Socratesed”.

Author’s note: “I have also found planting the seed works with spouses and teenagers. I only discovered this after many painful lessons!”

Listen, Please

April 22, 2018April 20, 2018 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

As leaders we are problem solvers. In fact, problem solving is a key strength required in a leader. And yet, sometimes, the best solution is to simply listen.

When I first began working as a leadership coach, I believed that my role was always to motivate my client toward action. While I still believe action is required to achieve results, I have also learned that, sometimes, it’s best to just listen.

Sometimes all a person wants is the opportunity to think out loud. And for us, as the listener, to do just that. To simply listen, not offer advice, perhaps ask a question or two and then allow them to sit with their own questions, their own reflections, and come to their own answers. And sometimes, at first, being heard is enough. Perhaps at a later date, it’s time for action.

Why Work with a Coach?

April 15, 2018April 12, 2018 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

For CEOs, the answer to this question is usually easy, the personal and professional gains a CEO expects from coaching usually have a direct correlation with results in their business.

For a senior executive, the question is more complex, because in addition to the relationship between the coach and the executive, there is the relationship between the executive and his/her manager.

As with most things, getting clear upfront about your intentions and expectations will yield better results. Here are some questions to consider if you are a senior executive with the desire to work with a coach:

Is coaching for your general professional development?
Or are there specific expectations that coaching is expected to address and that you will be accountable for?
What is the contract between you and your coach?
What is the contract between you and your sponsoring manager?
As the executive in coaching, how will I demonstrate or communicate progress to my manager?
If you have a sponsoring manager, i.e. the company is paying for your coaching, how does your manager want to be kept informed of progress?

The Gift of Feedback

March 11, 2018February 28, 2018 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Feedback is a gift. It is an opportunity for personal development and ultimately leadership development. And, it is hard; Very hard.

Not sure which is harder, giving feedback or accepting it. Recently I was with a small group of Vistage Chairs, several of us long tenured, and we were discussing this very topic. In fact, we spent a couple of hours working with each other to improve our skills at both. I mention long tenured, as a reminder to myself, that no matter how skilled we think we are at this, it is hard, and requires constant practice.

Here are the reminders I heard…

When giving feedback:

You can earn trust with truthful, specific, positive feedback (TSP as speaker, Michael Allosso, calls it)
When giving constructive feedback, ask first if the receiver is open to feedback
Even better, wait until the feedback is asked for
Own your experience, share feelings and observations; be specific
Use neutral language e.g., my experience of you… or When you do…, I feel…
Remember the purpose of feedback is to share your experience of another person, not to “fix” the other person

When receiving feedback, remember it is a gift

Ask for feedback, and be specific about the purpose, e.g., I want to become more effective at…
Listen and digest
Try not to defend or respond except to simply say, thank you.

The Quality of Bending Easily Without Breaking

March 4, 2018February 23, 2018 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

When I began this blog about flexibility, I googled the definition and the first definition that came up was this: the quality of bending easily without breaking.

Which begs the question, how can we as managers find a way to bend our expectations to accommodate different styles of work, without breaking our culture?

It’s become a new trend for CEOs to require folks, who previously worked at home, to come to the office. The reason given is culture.

But, what about the high performing employee who prefers to work on their own schedule, at least for a few days a week? What are the consequences to this person’s performance when they must adhere to this new structure?

The thing I am reminded of each day is despite our common humanity, our styles vary. Some of us like structure, others feel more comfortable with variety. While the need for flexibility is attributed as a common trait amongst millennials, my experience, as with most of our differences, is that personality style is the driver. For example, introverts prefer a quiet work environment, extroverts want people around them and want to engage throughout the day.

Which brings me back to the question, what do each of us need to do to bend our expectations and structure to accommodate different styles without breaking our culture? Perhaps if you ask, your team may have the answer.

Meditate On It

February 18, 2018February 15, 2018 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

What Do You Do When You Get Stuck?

We’ve all been there. Working on a project and we just can’t seem to get to completion. Or at least not to a completion we are satisfied with. The project could be something short term, an assignment for a client, writing the next blog, or it could be something big, perhaps a life decision.

Some of us power through, get to an acceptable answer and move on.
Some of us pause, ruminate, perhaps even beat ourselves up for not getting to the “right” answer, or even stop completely.

Whichever is your default modus operandi, I invite you to consider this one: meditate on it.

Meditation can be…

Sitting quietly in the traditional form of meditation, perhaps for a day or a week or even more, depending on the scope of the challenge.
Scheduling what one of my clients refers to as, “library time”. Scheduling time with yourself to write, to think, to plan.
Or, it could be reading something that inspires you.
Or going for a run.

Whatever it is for you, next time you get stuck, consider meditating on it…

January Reflections Part II – Bold Subtraction

January 28, 2018January 24, 2018 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

As January draws to a close, and we perhaps reflect on the goals we set, perhaps even create a new habit or two like Jerry Seinfeld (January Reflections Part I), is it also time to reflect on the nature of our goals?

Most of us tend to think in terms of additions.

What new thing do we want to do?
Where do we want to go?
What new accomplishments do we want to achieve?

The challenge with adding, and not subtracting is, for most of us, there simply isn’t room. So, before you give up and join the ranks of folks exiting the gym before Valentine’s Day; or simply stop setting goals, as one of my clients recently said, “I put the same things on my goal list every year, seems silly to bother”, is it time to consider instead, a bold subtraction?

Here are some questions that may help answer the bold subtraction question:

What did I give only my time, and not my passion, to last year?
How does this answer compare to previous years?
If my passion/time ratio has declined, what do I need to do or learn to change this? Do I have the desire to make the energy and or $$ investment to do so?
If I boldly subtracted this passionless activity from my life, am I willing to go bravely forward not knowing, rather discovering, what I will replace it with?

January Reflections Part I – A Temporal Moment

January 21, 2018January 19, 2018 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

I just finished reading Dan Pink’s latest book, When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing, which likely explains why I am focused on the meaning of January. January 1, no surprise, is a temporal moment and Dan’s research supports this. We make resolutions on January 1, and for those of us who belong to a gym, we witness the end of those resolutions, sometime around Valentine’s Day.

Yet, for those amongst us who focus on both what and when, according to Dan, we are more likely to turn a “resolution” into a commitment. I love the simple story Dan shares about Jerry Seinfeld’s writing habit. Jerry writes daily, he doesn’t judge the daily writing he just does it. Jerry prints out the calendar for the entire year and each day, he puts a big X on the day to mark off the writing. And, after a time, he has so many X’s he is committed. Research says, 21 days is what it takes to create a habit. Jerry say’s it looking at all those X’s, the chain it creates, that inspires him.

Dan also tells us that midpoints matter. Today is about midway from resolution beginning to likely ending, close enough, to ask yourself these questions:

What did you promise yourself you would do for yourself this year?
Is this promise still top of mind?
If not, is it something you still want?
If these promises matter to you, what actions are you willing take to turn them from resolutions to habits that extend beyond Valentine’s Day?
What is your equivalent of Jerry’s writing habit that you are willing to monitor with a calendar of “X’s”?

Ego Diversification

November 19, 2017November 18, 2017 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

What does it mean to diversify your ego? Does that even make sense?

In the investment world, diversification is de rigueur. Anyone who works with an investment advisor has heard them talk about the benefits of holding a diversified portfolio. The reasons are pretty straightforward, asset classes typically move differently and when one class is underperforming, another is likely to outperform. The goal, therefore, of holding a diversified portfolio, is to achieve an overall positive return. And, even when a positive return isn’t feasible, e.g. in a significant downturn like we experienced in 2008, a diversified portfolio will still outperform a single asset class that experienced a significant loss, the S&P 500, in this example.

The concept of ego diversification is similar. If we are getting all of our identify, our ego satisfaction, from a single pursuit, what happens when something is not going well with that pursuit?

Perhaps something at work is not going well, a new customer, for example, wasn’t transitioned well and we focus all of our attention on fixing that problem. Our initial instinct often is to double down and laser focus on solving the problem.

What is the impact to our self-esteem when our gut tells us solving the problem is going to take a while?
What if instead of grinding away, heads down, for weeks or even months, we intentionally spread our attention toward positive situations, time with a happy customer, or time being in service to someone or something that matters to us?
How might the “performance” of our lives improve, if we endeavor to diversify our ego gratification all the time thereby creating a “portfolio” of pursuits that together provide satisfaction and joy?

Perspective

October 29, 2017October 27, 2017 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Last week I attended “Tribute to the Stars”, a Cara event celebrating students of achievement. The name Cara might be familiar to you, as each year on Giving Tuesday you hear from me asking you to join my match for this wonderful organization that supports people through the process of “getting their lives back”.

Every time I attend a Cara event or visit their morning motivations, I am reminded of the importance of perspective. Last week was no exception.

At this event, I was fortunate to be seated with several students, one of whom I had the opportunity to speak with for some time. His name is Kyle. Kyle started in the program a couple of months ago and I asked him what led him to Cara. He then told me that in order to continue receiving food stamps, he was required to enroll in a job training program. Kyle was fortunate to find Cara, because what Kyle realized he needed more than anything was recovery and confidence building. You see, Kyle is a Princeton and NYU graduate. When he was in his late 20’s and early 30’s, he was riding high in the investment world, too high it turns out, and now he is in recovery and starting over at 40.

I was moved by Kyle’s story, because I too come from the investment world. Had I not already become a leadership coach when he graduated NYU with his MBA, Kyle & I might have been colleagues or we might have met at an industry conference. In fact, I knew several “Kyle’s” when I worked in financial services.

We also heard from a woman named Nichelle, one of the two alumni receiving the tribute that morning. Like Kyle, Nichelle was riding high, and then she wasn’t. She had a good job and had lived in a beautiful home with her partner and her children. Nichelle shared with us how when things fell apart, she ended up living in a studio, a “box” as she called it, with her children, her partner and her partner’s kids; a total of 2 adults and 6 children in a studio. And then she asked us, “did you know that having a bedroom door is a privilege?” Today, Nichelle has her bedroom door and is well on her way to a stellar career once again, this time stronger and wiser.

Kyle and Nichelle’s stories have stayed with me. They remind me that life challenges are the great leveler. They can happen to all of us, no matter our background or education.

And that whatever we face, the good stuff and the challenges, it’s all a matter of perspective.