What Are You Waiting For?

For those living in Maui or who haven’t been and may have wanted to go, the tragedy there is a sad reminder — if something or someone is important to you, seize the day; tomorrow may be too late.

If you listen to the doomsayers, the world may end soon, either from climate change or AI control of the markets, atomic mishap or, or, or…fill in the blank.

While the pessimists will tell you there is no way out, the optimists fervently believe it will all sort itself out. Regardless of which point of view you align with, the fires in Maui did happen, and the death toll is still unknown. 

For me, the message in all this is to pursue a life that focuses on what matters to us. I often ask my You Pivot™ Clients to consider not what they think should matter but what actually does matter to them. And then, go after it, create your Tomorrow Story, and figure out what life changes are required to get from here to there.

Sometimes getting started is hard. People often feel selfish, putting themselves first. They have others they want to please or feel an obligation toward. Yet, every time we fly, the flight attendant reminds us that we can’t support others if we don’t put our oxygen masks on first. 

What is the Future of Writing in the Era of ChatGpt?

As a writer, I’ve pondered this question off and on. 

I’ve played around with ChatGpt, asking it to draft a story that I edited extensively or giving it an outline and asking it to turn it into prose. Frankly, I’ve not been overly impressed with the result and concluded that ChatGpt is suitable for generic writing tasks, e.g., condo rules and standard letters, not creative and inspirational writing.  

And then…

Last week I asked ChatGpt to write a 200-word blog on the value of reunions. Below is the blog it wrote. It’s good! So good it caused me to wonder, does writing have a future in the era of ChatGpt? 

As part of my pondering, I’ve been reading about the impact of ChatGpt in schools. In particular, I read that the college essay is dead. Some teachers have stopped giving writing assignments at all. 

On the other hand, there are teachers who see ChatGpt as an opportunity to challenge students with a more difficult task. These teachers ask students to use ChatGpt to write the essay, and then the assignment is to fact-check and critique what ChatGpt wrote and then revise the ChatGpt response (students turn in their critique, the ChatGpt composition, and their own).

So maybe the better questions are:

  • How will writing change in the era of ChatGpt? 
  • For those of us who seek to inspire with our writing, how do we ensure our contribution is unique?
  • When is it ok to ask ChatGpt to write for us and then share, with attribution, what it wrote? 

ChatGpt’s Blog 

Embracing the Joy of Reunions: Connecting Across Time and Distance

In a world where time races ahead, and life’s demands pull us in various directions, there’s something undeniably magical about reunions. These gatherings have an uncanny ability to transport us back in time, rekindling memories and emotions that have been tucked away. Reunions offer us a chance to bridge the gaps that time and distance have created, allowing us to connect and cherish the bonds that define us.

The anticipation leading up to a reunion is like a crescendo of emotions – excitement, nostalgia, and a touch of anxiety. As the familiar faces come into view, it’s as if time melts away, and we’re left with a profound realization that some connections remain unbreakable, no matter the miles that separate us.

Reunions are not merely events but windows into our past, present, and future. They provide an opportunity to share stories, reminisce about shared experiences, and catch up on the latest chapters of each other’s lives. Laughter reverberates, tears are shed, and hearts are warmed as we celebrate the beauty of human connection.

In a digital age where virtual interactions often dominate, the physical presence of a reunion is a poignant reminder of the significance of face-to-face connections. The joy of holding a friend’s hand, the warmth of a hug, and the unspoken understanding that passes between loved ones are experiences that can never truly be replicated through screens.

Whether it’s a high school reunion, a family gathering, or a long-awaited meeting with friends, reunions offer us a chance to rekindle bonds that time and distance may have momentarily obscured. They remind us that despite the challenges life throws our way, the ties that bind us are enduring and precious. So, as we gather once again, let’s embrace the magic of reunions and savor every moment of connection they offer.

What If Instead…

Most of the time, we have an agenda, whether it is to close a deal, persuade others to “see the light,” or simply to win.

  • What if, instead, we let things unfold at their own pace?
  • What if, instead, we seek first to understand?
  • What if, instead, we invest in understanding where they are and meet them there?
  • What if, instead, we recognize that our stakeholders are individuals for whom “there” may be a different place for each of them?

But wait, you say, isn’t it all about having a plan? Isn’t the goal to win? Perhaps it is, and I wonder if our chances of winning go up when we stop trying to orchestrate the outcome.

The Answer Is In The Question

One of the life lessons I learned early in my career as an executive coach is the answer is in the question. By asking better questions, we enable others to come to their own resolutions. The truth is, only when someone deeply understands their issue will they take action.

Most of us in business are problem solvers, and the answer to someone else’s problem or challenge often seems obvious, so we rush in with advice without stopping and asking questions. What I have learned, and continue to be reminded of daily, is that by asking more poignant questions, the resulting answer may not only be better, but it may also be different than what we perceived as evident before we asked.

When we ask the better question, we offer the other person the gift of self-exploration, and in return, we may have the privilege of witnessing a transformation.

The Under-Rated Value of Patience

Patience is not one of my strong suits, so I looked up the definition before writing this story.

“the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset”

As leaders, most of us are action-oriented. Something crosses our desk; we deal with it. If an issue arises with a customer, a vendor, or an employee, we take action. Same with our health. We have an injury or an illness, and we immediately ask, what can I do to “fix” this? How can I expedite the healing? 

And, sometimes, if we let things unfold at their own pace, we achieve a better result. 

What?? Isn’t that avoidance or procrastination, or even laziness? And…

  • Sometimes, that annoying email doesn’t require a response.
  • Sometimes, working to “fix” an ache or pain or a situation causes a new one to “fix” someplace else.
  • Sometimes action is needed, and sometimes doing nothing is simply the best strategy.

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Blank Spaces Are As Important As Flowers

During our travels in Japan, we had the privilege of spending time with a Zen Priest. He talked to us about “the way” of Buddhist teachings, including the tea ceremony, ikebana, and calligraphy. Later on, we were fortunate to participate in a tea ceremony and ikebana, and it was through ikebana that I began to understand.

Ikebana is commonly thought of as the art of Japanese flower arranging, and as with most things in Japan, there is meaning beyond what you see.

In traditional Western flower arranging, the flowers face the viewer and are fitted tightly into the vase. 

In the way of ikebana, our teacher told us, we place the flowers in the container in a way that resembles how they grow. And, most importantly, she said, “Remember the blank spaces are as important as the flowers.” She then showed us how our creations became three-dimensional when we added blank space.  

The term ikebana comes from combining two words, 

ikeru– life; and hana – flower. 

My learning — ikebana is about using flowers to experience a life lesson: blank spaces in our words, deeds, and lives enhance and add dimension to our experience.

The Secret of Life

I’ve had several conversations lately with clients and colleagues about life stages. In 1977, James Taylor wrote The Secret o’ Life. The full lyrics are worth a read, and here’s an excerpt: 

The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.

Any fool can do it, 

There ain’t nothing to it.

Nobody knows how we got 

To the top of the hill.

But since we’re on our way down, 

We might as well enjoy the ride.

Isn’t it a lovely ride? 

Sliding down, gliding down,

Try not to try too hard, 

It’s just a lovely ride.

I am struck by Taylor’s wisdom at the age of 27 when he wrote this, and the lyrics remind me of a personal experience with an older man years later. 

 I was sitting on a bench at the old Union Station. The man sat down next to me, and we engaged in conversation. I asked him where he was headed, and he replied with glee, “San Francisco!”

“Wow,” I said, “that is a long way to go on the train.” His reply: “There is as much fun in getting there as there is in being there.”

Taylor’s lyrics and the words of the man on the bench have stayed with me, and I often think of their words in these situations:

  • When I am too focused on getting to the outcome
  • When it’s time to pause
  • When it’s time to remember to be in the moment

As I embark on a trip to Japan in May, I plan to practice the in-the-moment secret, beginning with a hiatus from Sunday Stories. I will publish my usual end-of-month quote next week, and I will see you in June

Nurture Your Butterflies

When was the last time you wasted time? When you were “wasting time,” did you feel joyful and creative, or — if you’re like me, did you feel even a tiny bit guilty for “being unproductive?” 

How much better might it have been? How much more would you have enjoyed your time — how much more would you have gotten out of it — if you didn’t feel guilty about it or feel the need to explain it?

Here’s a fact: downtime is vital to our lives.

As human beings, we often find ourselves caught in the never-ending cycle of productivity, constantly striving to achieve more.

Contrary to popular belief, wasting time can actually be beneficial for our overall well-being. However, wasting time poorly is a sin (or whichever word you prefer) because not only are you forgoing the productivity, generosity, and art that comes from work, but you’re also giving up the experimentation, creativity, and joy that comes from wasting time.

If you’re going to waste time (and I hope you will), please do it well; and find inspiration by nurturing your butterflies within.

Is It Time to Wait or Time to Act?

A once well-known brand, Paul Masson wine, is best remembered for its 1970s marketing association with Orson Wells, who promised on behalf of Masson: “We will sell no wine before its time.” In this ad, Wells is discovered by the camera listening to Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony, “It took Beethoven four years to write that symphony” Wells says, “Some things can’t be rushed. Good music… and good wine”.

Steve Jobs was famous for delaying production and, ultimately, the release of products until he was satisfied that the design met his goal. He was reputed to have sent his product development team back to the drawing board, time after time, to get the design exactly as he wanted it, e.g., perhaps the most well-known example, “just one button.” 

On the other hand, in 2012, Elon Musk forever changed the automobile landscape when the first Tesla rolled off the assembly line. At the time, many believed this car was sold “before it was time.”

When considering a transition or pursuing something I want, I remind myself to reflect on these stories and ask:

Is it time to wait or time to act?

What Is the Leadership Message in All Quiet on the Western Front?

Last night my husband and I watched All Quiet on the Western Front. It was my idea to watch it because it has already won several awards and was nominated for several Oscars, including best picture. Right from the start, I wanted to turn it off and yet felt compelled to continue. 

This movie was graphic and harrowing; I think it felt real because of this. For two and a half hours, it was as if we were on the front lines, experiencing the horror while somehow safely tucked away from harm.

The book was required reading for most high school students of my generation. Upon reflection, I wonder why? Was it an attempt to prepare young men called to fight in Vietnam? Was it a silent protest on the part of educators? I don’t know, and I couldn’t find an explanation in my research. 

It’s a story of humanity and the loss of humanity while at the same time a story of leadership. Not the traditional message that military leaders are the best leadership examples and should therefore be role models. Instead, it portrays all types of leaders, fallible humans, capable leaders, and those that are completely incompetent. Most importantly, the writers showed us the human cost of hubris. 

I always remembered the book, especially the scene when the protagonist is in the trench with a French soldier. The movie brought home the message of humanity even more.

Sadly, as the horrors of war continue today in Ukraine and elsewhere, the following quote from Einstein reminds us how far we have not come.

“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts, and his feelings as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

Perhaps the message the author and the screenwriters are sending is:

It is time for those of us who have the responsibility and the honor to lead to also take on the responsibility to practice humanity.