Communication | Elisa K. Spain

What is a Big Deal to Some, Leaves Others Scratching Their Heads

October 1, 2017September 19, 2017 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

In this increasingly sensitized world we live in, we find ourselves in a place of wondering. Wondering, how what we say will be interpreted.

And on the receiving end, we may be offended by comments from others and wonder at a minimum, how could this person have been so insensitive.

Layer on to this, differences in cultures and while some may hear a comment as a big deal, the sender may be left scratching their head. For me the solution lies in dialogue and seeking first to understand. Understand what others are sensitive to and what life experience may have led them to feel as they do and understand why others may be left scratching their heads.

Sometimes, it seems so obvious, and yet it isn’t. By way example, Trevor Noah shares this story in his recent autobiography.

According to Noah, in South Africa, where he is from, children are taught that Hitler was a powerful man, the atrocities he committed are left out of the history lesson. He goes on to say, black South Africans often name their children after “great leaders”, emphasizing that great does not necessarily mean good. With this background in mind, Noah shares a story of a friend of his named Hitler. Yes, that is his given name, not a nickname.

As young adults, Trevor and Hitler are entertainers, Trevor is a DJ and Hitler is a dancer. The two of them are invited to perform at a school in a white neighborhood that turns out to also be a Jewish neighborhood. When Trevor introduces Hitler to the stage to dance, the room falls silent. Trevor doesn’t understand why and carries on with his spiel using Hitler’s name over and over.

Finally a teacher comes on stage and demands they leave. An argument ensures, the teacher is horrified that “you people” had the indecency to come here. Trevor hears “you people” as black people, and both are horrified and offended. Trevor and Hitler leave and it isn’t until years later when Trevor travels outside of South Africa that he understands what happened that day.

When I read this, I was struck by the absurdity and was reminded that we must always assume positive intent, hard to do, and so important especially today.

Progress or Apocalypse?

September 17, 2017September 1, 2017 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Every generation has its world changing vs. world destroying technology.

In the 1800’s, it was the train. People genuinely believed that going that quickly would kill you in gruesome ways, such as your body melting.
In the 1960’s, we were told getting too close to a television or a microwave oven would give us cancer. More recently this same concern has arisen about mobile phones.
In the 1990’s, when Dolly the sheep was cloned, we became convinced that human cloning was months away.

The new battle is over Artificial Intelligence. Will it change the world as Mark Zuckerberg believes or will it destroy the world as Elon Musk believes?

As with previous inventions, AI will offer opportunities we can only dream of today. At the same time, prudence and regulation will be required as Musk suggests.

One thing that is certain, no matter who believes what or what the dangers are, AI is happening. And, those who figure out how to enhance their businesses by using AI, will be the beneficiaries.

For further reading/viewing on this topic…

We need to shift the conversation around AI before Elon Musk dooms us all

Don’t fear intelligent machines. Work with them

Is it Time for a Different Approach to Strategic Planning?

September 10, 2017August 31, 2017 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

This is the time of the year that most companies begin their strategic planning process.

While it’s fun to host and participate in an offsite, the end result sadly is often put on a shelf until next year.

Mostly the plan is a continuation of the last one, and mostly the plan calls for growth, usually growth that is based on internal expectations. And, unless the plan is translated into numbers and then becomes part of the budget, expectations are infrequently measured against actual outcome. No wonder the reality of strategic planning and the hope are often not aligned.

If you are interested in doing it differently this time… Chris Bradley of the McKinsey Consulting firm offers four practical suggestions to tackle the particular problem of bold forecasts and timid actions:

Don’t hide the hairy back in the bottom drawer
Calibrate your projected results to the outside view
Build a momentum case
Focus on moves, not promises

This short article Hockey Stick Dreams and Hairy Back Reality should be required reading for anyone who makes plans, or is charged with approving them.

Why Do We Celebrate Labor Day?

September 3, 2017August 31, 2017 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

When the first nationally recognized Labor Day was celebrated in 1894, the day consisted of a street parade sending up a message of “the strength and esprit de corps of the trade and labor organizations” (in the words of the AFL).

We have come a long way since then. Today most employers focus on offering opportunities and benefits to attract and retain talent; as a result, the need for unions has diminished and few remain.

Yet we still celebrate the day as a national holiday. Perhaps it is simply tradition, or the acknowledgment of the end of summer. Or a reminder to celebrate how far we have come as a nation of leaders and followers, where two-way communication has become much more the norm than work place “negotiations”.

So, as you enjoy your family barbecues, or however you celebrate the day, I encourage you to pause and ask yourself:

As a leader, what can I do tomorrow to let each member of my team know they are valued and are essential to our success?
As a follower, what I can do tomorrow to let my boss know what else I can do to add value to the success of our company?

What If We Meet Them Where They Are?

August 6, 2017August 4, 2017 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Most of the time, we have an agenda. Whether it is to close a deal, persuade our employees or our customers to “see the light” or simply to win.

What if instead, we simply let things unfold at their own pace?
What if instead, we seek to understand?
What if instead, we invested in understanding where they are, and meet them there?
What if instead, we recognized that our stakeholders are made up of individuals, for whom “there” may be a different place for each of them?

But wait you say, isn’t it all about having a plan? Isn’t the goal to win? Perhaps it is, and I wonder if our chances of winning go up when we stop trying to orchestrate the outcome.

What is Empathy Really?

July 9, 2017July 14, 2017 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

The dictionary defines empathy quite simply:

“It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.”

And for most of us, this simple sentence describes one of life’s greatest challenges. We come at everything from our point of view. Our style combined with our backgrounds and experiences drive how we see things.

A couple of weeks ago, I attended a retreat for Vistage chairs with 10+ years. We call it Keepers of the Flame. It’s a place for reflection, learning and sharing. The retreat began with a speaker from a local theatre group. His talk was about empathy. He gave us a peek into the life of an actor and drew a parallel between acting and leadership. From his perspective, what defines a successful actor is their ability to empathize with their character. To really get inside and understand their story.

Actors follow these 3 guides to becoming their character:

What if I were in their situation? What wants and fears drive who they are?
“What if” allows us to empathize even when we cannot sympathize.
And then to truly empathize, we must listen with charity.

With true empathy, our speaker said, while we may not sympathize with a murderer, we can empathize and then become the character. We begin to understand the character by asking ourselves, what wants, fears and experiences drove them to take the life of another person?

And then he challenged us, isn’t this the same with leadership? Or for that matter with all our interactions with others? If we can step outside ourselves if only for a moment, can we see the world as the person sitting across from us sees it?

How Do You Know When to Go With the Flow?

June 18, 2017June 16, 2017 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Option 1 _ Sometimes, the best thing to do is to go with the flow and let things play out.

Option 2 _ Sometimes, the best thing to do is to choose a desired outcome and lead others toward that outcome.

How do you decide?

In my experience, business owners have the tendency to choose Option 2. Owners get to decide the outcome they want and when passionate about that outcome, they choose to lead others toward it.

Similarly, professional CEOs, especially those leading PE owned companies, generally choose Option 2. They have a clear mission from the PE board, have incentives that are aligned with the board, and therefore choose to lead others toward their desired outcome, leaving as little to chance as possible.

On the other hand, my experience with executives is, it varies. And, since executives have both their careers to think about and their business to think about, they have two situations for which this choice must be made.

Some executives are willing, and actually prefer, to go with the flow, letting their owners or their boards, or their CEO decide the direction. This works best when the decision makers are in fact choosing Option 2, i.e. they are clear about the desired outcome.

But, what happens when the decision maker and those charged with implementing the decision are simply going with the flow? Is there even a direction, or simply a flow?
And, what happens when going with the flow provides financial rewards, but not psychic rewards. What then?

Everyone needs a purpose, a “why”. Some of us are comfortable deriving that purpose from others. Some of us need to set our own course.

The challenge for each of us is becoming clear which choice works for us and then putting ourselves into situations where we can be aligned with our choice.

Not Asking Has a Price Tag

June 11, 2017June 10, 2017 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

We Vistage chairs often talk about the importance of staying curious, of asking questions. Often as leaders we tell ourselves that the only “cost” of being directive vs. asking questions are soft costs. For example, we make assumptions that are wrong and have to start over when we learn we are headed in the wrong direction.

What about the hard costs of heading in the wrong direction?

What about when we as leaders, march into a new area, or start a new initiative, everyone follows, and we are headed in the wrong direction? Money is invested and then we have to start over. If only we had asked a few questions up front, we tell ourselves afterwards, the price tag associated with the failure might have been avoided.

This TED talk, titled simply, “If you want to help someone, shut up and listen!”, by Ernesto Sirolli, brings this point home in a global way. Ernesto Sirolli is a noted authority in the field of sustainable economic development and is the Founder of the Sirolli Institute, an international non-profit organization that teaches community leaders how to establish and maintain Enterprise Facilitation projects in their community.

What does this talk have to do with leadership? A lot.

What does it have to do with business? I’ll let you decide that.

Quiet

June 4, 2017June 2, 2017 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Quiet time, a luxury or a necessity? Call it meditation or simply call it quiet time. Taking time to clear the mind, we are told by our spiritual leaders, is the secret to awareness and peace. For years, perhaps centuries, we humans go to mediation classes, yogis, ashrams, the Dalai Lama, etc. in search of The Way.

More recently, our physicians have begun to tell us, meditation will lower your blood pressure, protect from cancer, manage pain and more. Mayo Clinic’s website contains this article on the health benefits of meditation.

And, in this powerful article, the author reminds us our businesses will benefit too. Because, when we think less, we think better.

Summer is a great time to experience quiet, to test this out and see if perhaps a few moments of quiet each day could add value to our lives.

What If That’s Not How I See it?

May 21, 2017May 19, 2017 by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

How often are we in situations where what we want and what others want are not aligned? We make assumptions daily, mostly about other people. These assumptions enable us to take shortcuts and at the same time, they cause disagreement that perhaps wasn’t there to begin with.

We assume a person attended or didn’t attend an event because…
We assume a person responded to us a certain way, because…
We assume a person took an action or didn’t take an action because…

What if instead of assuming, we paused and asked:

What is the reason you made this choice or took this action?
When your customer complains about “service”, do you probe to understand what is really going on?
When we see something, as the TSA reminds us, do we say something?
When an employee behaves a certain way, do we ask what is going on?

And when what we want seems far from what “they” want, what if we asked and explored the possibilities..