Good Intentions…

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

 

One of the key things we learn in Vistage is the Socratic Method. Stay in a questioning mode and let people come to their own answers.

Most humans want to make a difference, have an impact somehow on others. Sometimes when we want to be in service, it is so tempting to tell others what they need to do. It seems so obvious to us. And, yet, the impact of giving advice can often have the exact opposite result.

The thing is…we all hear through our own filter and what is intended and what is heard are often not the same.

What I have learned, and continue to learn, is there is a hidden benefit of questioning, the filter becomes visible. Telling is passive; I can take it in or not; I can react or not. On the other hand, when I am asked a question, the engagement is active. I am a participant and I have the opportunity to pause and consider, rather than react and respond.

 

Words Matter

by Elisa Spain1 Comment

 

We live in an increasingly diverse world, and at the same time it seems we have become increasingly intolerant. The more you look for signs of both, the more you will find it. Some say we need to simply stop looking so hard; I say we need to start looking harder.

Diversity is part of my core; I work hard to create diversity in my Vistage groups and in my personal life. I find people who are different from me interesting. I learn more from people who see the world differently from me than I do from those who see it the same. And, I find, for much the same reasons, diversity in a peer group creates a higher functioning group. When everyone is thinking and saying something different, the member has a richer experience, a richer opportunity to come to his or her own decisions.

So what does this have to do with words? We have a choice. We can work hard to live our lives surrounded by people who are exactly like us, listen to news that supports our way of thinking, and insulate ourselves from anyone and anything that isn’t aligned with our way of thinking and how we see the world.

Or, we can live in the world as it is, a mosaic of differences.

If we choose the former, we need only choose words that are in common usage in the community we align with. If on the other hand, we choose the latter, then words matter. Whether it’s that awful racist video from the SAE fraternity bus; or hurtful statements about Muslims based on the actions of Middle East countries; or simply making comments that are disrespectful; what is heard by the listener is what matters.

Sometimes the words can seem innocuous, and harmless. Expressions like “open the kimono” to some is simply a colorful way to describe being transparent. Others call it sexist and racist. Forbes included “open the kimono” in its “Most Annoying Business Jargon” bracket, wherein Bruce Barry, a professor at Vanderbilt University’s Owen School of Business, calls it “kind of creepy.”

Words matter in a diverse world, because if we want to be heard, we must speak in a manner that allows us to be heard. Words that are heard as inflammatory, cause the listener to stop listening and hear only the disrespect.

In short, if you want to be heard, choose words that allow the full mosaic of listeners to hear you.

Elisa K. Spain

 

The Power Of Shared History

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

 

A couple of weeks ago I attended the Vistage Chair Conference and spent an evening with 9 senior women chairs. All of us were at the gathering at the invitation of one of the people present, i.e. we all knew at least one person and none of us knew everyone. We talked about a lot of things and then serendipitously began to share stories about challenges early in our careers. In the spirit of full disclosure, the stories mostly were about challenges of being young women faced with inappropriate situations in male-dominated companies.

A few days later I had a conversation with a male chair who is a longtime friend and mentor. I was telling him what a wonderful time I had with the other women earlier that week.

I told him about our shared history conversation and the direction it took. After telling him a few of my stories, he then shared his own stories from the other side. Such as when he was in a leadership position and falsely accused, offered sexual favors, etc. I was struck by the reminder that the more we share, the more common ground we find. And, that these stories are really about the personal side of business.

Like me and my women colleagues, my male colleague had several stories to tell. We talked about how these stories shape us, and that for women and people of color, because of the power equation, sometimes they shape us more.

I was struck by the value of shared histories in creating connections and overcoming stereotypes.

Wouldn’t it be cool to sit at a table with men and women, and people of all colors and backgrounds, and tell our shared histories of career and life challenges that shape the people and leaders we have become…?

Can A Focus On Culture Produce Financial Results?

by Elisa Spain1 Comment

 

In 2014, the theme for my Vistage groups was All That Matters is Culture. We talk about culture a lot in Vistage and we have several speakers that focus on this topic. Certainly we can all agree that focusing on culture creates a more consistent workplace. I say consistent, rather than harmonious, because as we learned from Vistage speaker, Edgar Papke, each culture is different – The important thing is to know what your culture is, hire accordingly and ensure your culture (inward facing) is consistent with your brand (outward facing).

And…when we went around the table at the end of the year, two of my CEO members shared that they had their best year yet (both had been in business 15+ years). When the other members asked the reason, both said, without hesitation, “because I focused on culture more than anything else this year. I got rid of the cancers. Everyone who is with my company today reflects the culture. I see it, the customers see it, and frankly to my surprise, the bottom line shows it”.

In one case, one of the CEOs fired his #2 producer. A risky move, so he thought. In fact, he even expected a down year as a result.  He decided the risk was worth it.

Good thing he took the risk because… he was one of the CEOs to report the best year ever.

Elisa K. Spain

Is Coaching For Me Or For My Company?

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

 

As a leadership coach, working with both CEOs and senior executives, I am sometimes faced with this question:

  • Is leadership coaching for the individual or
  • Are there specific results this individual is expected to produce for the company?

For CEOs, the answer to this question is usually easy, the development a CEO gains from coaching usually has a direct correlation with results in their business.

For a senior executive, the question is more complex, both for me and for their sponsoring manager.

As with most things, getting clear upfront about your intentions and expectations will yield better results. Here are some questions to consider if you are either the senior executive or their sponsoring manager:

  • Is coaching for your general professional development?
  • Or are there specific expectations that coaching is expected to address and that you will be accountable for?
  • What is the contract between you and your coach?
  • What is the contract between you and your sponsoring manager?
  • As the executive in coaching, how will I demonstrate or communicate progress to my manager?
  • As the sponsoring manager, how do I want to be kept informed of progress?

 

 

When The Obvious, Isn't Obvious…

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

 

Simplify, simplify… These are the watch words of our world today. The more complex our society has become the more is written on the benefits of simplification.

And, I have begun to wonder if the complexity of our society is also leading us to forget to look for simple solutions when things aren’t working right. The obvious sometimes is missed, along the way to finding a solution.

The following experience happened awhile back and I often use it as a reminder to pause and look first for the obvious, even when it may not at first seem so obvious.

My internet service was continually cutting out. It would go down for a few minutes, sometimes an hour or so, and would always come back on its own. This went on for many months. I called for service repeatedly, the provider sent technicians out repeatedly. They replaced modems, they replaced wires, they really tried to fix it. I became convinced the problem must be with the wiring in the building so I hired an independent company who came out and checked the internal wiring. Everyone who was here, and there were lots of people, all said it should be working. But it wasn’t.  

Finally I called a technician who had been out for another issue in the past. I had saved his name because he was particularly helpful. I told him the whole story and he sent his supervisor out. The supervisor asked a few questions, listened to my story and then solved the problem in 5 minutes.  

How did he do it?

This sounds like one of those brain teasers doesn’t it? Actually, I guess it was. What he did was simple. He asked a few questions, he really listened to my answers, and then looked for the obvious. There was a loose wire where the system was attached to the building. He tightened the wire, and I have not had a problem since!

My takeaway from this … when something isn’t working, in business or in life;

pause, ask questions, listen carefully to the answers….and then search first for the obvious explanation.

 

 

 

Leadership Quote: Knowing Our Impact On Others

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

 

This month’s leadership quote:

“Of the many, many things about which we are unclear, or of which we are unaware,

our impact upon others is at or near the top.”

-Larry Cassidy, Vistage Master Chair

Today’s blogpost is offered by guest blogger Larry Cassidy, fellow Vistage Master Chair and author of this month’s quote. Larry has been a Vistage chair in California for 27 years and his words of wisdom inspire all of us.

Are you aware of your impact upon others, for better or for worse? We all too often live in our own personal bubble, unaware of how what we say and what we do land upon others. So come with me on a short walk, to the wood fence behind our house…..

If each time we did something thoughtless or rude or unkind, we had to pound a nail into our fence post, over time the post would resemble a metal porcupine. And if we could pull a nail out of the fence post each time we did something thoughtful, kind or caring, our battered fence post might someday be devoid of nails.

That last nail pulled should be cause for celebration; however, before we hoot n’ holler, let’s first take a hard look at our fence post. After all the pounding and pulling, what is left? Nail holes! We have slowly exchanged our hard words and abuse for decency and respect, but the wounds from our nails linger on. The holes remain. The fence post never forgets. Nor do the people in whom we have punched holes.

Sorry, but there is no escape. This is our responsibility. We are leaders, and someone is always watching. And as leaders, our job is to grasp our impact upon others, to better shape what we say and what we do, and to ensure those in our lives are better for being in our lives. If we are not willing to “do the work,” our offerings too often kidnap self-esteem, and can even become abuse.

My suggestion: don’t think about this. Rather, feel those who have changed your life. Who are they? How did they make you better? Why do you remember them so many years later? I am clear about those who have their fingerprints on who I am today, and I am deeply indebted to each. I also have another list, those who took advantage, who were unkind, who toyed with key values, and they are no longer part of my life.

You know which is which. You can feel the difference. And so can the people in your life. Your children, the team you coach, your employees, everyone. They can feel you. Yours is the opportunity to show them a better way to be. To be the one they remember for supporting their work to be the best they can be. So remember: they are watching, always watching, and every exchange is one more precious opportunity to not drive a nail, to not leave yet another nail hole. Each is a teaching moment. Seize it.

 

Elisa K. Spain

 

The Oft Unheralded Challenge Of Change

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

 

Leading change in an organization is full of challenges. Most of these challenges are associated with creating a vision, inspiring action, achieving buy-in, and sustaining the change. John Kotter, noted for his work on this topic, offers an 8 step process that offers an excellent roadmap.

I am noticing a 1/2 step challenge of change, that while banal, can derail a change initiative when ignored. This oft unheralded challenge is simply that everyone hears through their own filter, and therefore the actions we see are not the actions we expected. Obvious perhaps, and yet when leading change, we sometimes think that things are not happening the way we want because people are resisting.

  • Sometimes, they simply didn’t hear
  • or what they heard is different from what I thought I said
  • or they need to hear it more than once; 7 times I have been told is the magic number
  • or they need to do it more than once, or even twice, to “get it”
  • or we simply need to allow time for the change to settle in

So, next time, before calling out a “resister”, first pause and ask them what they heard.

 

 

Elisa K. Spain

Another View On Co-Accountability?

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

2014-11-07

Last week, one of the members of my CEO group sent this Facebook post to the group. And, much like the comments on the actual post, there was a mix of “isn’t this cool?” to the cynical, “what if the person has never done anything positive?”

The discussion caused me to pause. Vistage speaker, Michel Allosso, talks about giving a person TSP: Truthful, Specific, Positive feedback. Do it enough, he says, to earn the right to give constructive feedback. While Vistage Speaker, Balaji Krishnamurthy, teaches us co-accountability: The key to a successful organization is when members of our team have expectations of each other and hold each other accountable for meeting them.

What this Facebook post says to me is, perhaps the answer is to combine the two. I wonder if in the story I told last week, the reason Southwest Airlines has both a collegial and a co-accountable culture is because they combine both TSP and co-accountability…

  • Imagine what would happen in your organization if you had both?
  • What one action step might you take today to begin a journey down this path?

Elisa K. Spain

 

 

The Emperor's New Clothes

by Elisa SpainNo Comments

 

I have come to realize, duh… that the fairy tales we read as children were intended to prepare us for our adult lives. (Robert Fulghum was right, All I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten).

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about The Other Side of Success, when confidence becomes hubris. The Emperor’s New Clothes is, in my view, the ultimate risk of this hubris.

The Emperor’s New Clothes is a short tale by Hans Christian Andersen about two weavers who promise an Emperor a new suit of clothes that is invisible to those unfit for their positions, stupid, or incompetent. When the Emperor parades before his subjects in his new clothes, a child cries out, “But he isn’t wearing anything at all!”

The emperor is so vain, he believes the tale. The adults are afraid to tell him the truth for fear the outcome may have consequences for them. Only a child tells the truth; he is too young to realize he is taking a risk by doing so.

To be a successful leader, one must be confident, have the courage to move forward even when questioned. And at the same time, the successful leaders I know also ask for feedback. They are constantly in touch with their constituents – customers, employees, vendors, advisors, family (after all it was a child that told the emperor the truth).

Recently I heard a new CEO talk about the changes he had made since assuming his position. He was proud of those changes and went on to say, “things are better because of these changes”. Yet, he hadn’t ever asked his users (customers, employees, vendors, etc.) what they thought. He believed it to be true, just like the emperor. I later had the opportunity to hear from some of his constituents, and they had a different perspective. For them, the changes had made their work more challenging. Which is true? I don’t know. What I do know is most of his stakeholders are telling the CEO what he wants to hear, not what they truly feel and believe.

Years ago, I saw the effect of this first hand. I was working in the investment business and several of the large institutions, like ours, decided to install a new software system for managing trust accounts. The system was built by a small company and it turned out they were better at marketing than at software development. Our largest competitor at the time was the first to “go live” with the new system. It was a disaster, such a disaster that they ultimately exited the trust business. I remember saying to my colleagues at the time “someone, probably several people, at that bank knew this was going to fail and they were afraid to speak up”.

I leave you with these questions:

  • What are you doing to solicit honest feedback in your organization?
  • What are you doing to foster an environment where your customers, employees, vendors and other stakeholders feel they can provide feedback without fear of consequences?
  • Do you have a “child” in your company and your life who is willing to tell you that you are naked?

Elisa K. Spain