It Only Takes A Moment

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Appreciation is a leadership action. As leaders, we tend to focus on monetary signs of appreciation, e.g., gifts or bonuses. Yet, as humans, we most value specific appreciation directed just to us. And most of us find it challenging to do this. We celebrate or complement the team, but we rarely notice and communicate with simple appreciative words or a carefully selected card or a note to just one person.

Here’s an example:

Instead of, “You did a good job on this report,” why not say, “You did a good job creating the status report this week. I like that it was succinct and included the due dates. It helped me see what was pending and how much was due at the same time”.

The great thing about this simple appreciation is that it doesn’t take any planning and costs nothing. It only takes a moment and can be done in the moment.

To whom will you give specific appreciation today?

Are We Having Fun?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

First, I have news: I am excited to share that as a complement to my You Pivot™ Program, I have engaged with the University of Chicago’s Leadership & Society Initiative as a founding instructor and executive life coach.

Every now and then, the subject of fun comes up in a meeting with a client, with my client saying something like, “I am not having fun,” or “I don’t allow myself to have fun,” or, “I don’t have time for fun.” 

Adult life is often a whirlwind of responsibilities, deadlines, and routines, leaving little room for the joys of unadulterated fun. Yet healthy adults recognize the positive mindset that results from having fun is a necessity for mental and emotional well-being.

Recognizing this, I frequently recommend The Book of Joy by Desmond Tutu and Dalai Lama. One of my many learnings from these two wise men is that fun can mean different things to different people. The key is how we feel when we are doing it. 

My own story about having fun came up in a recent conversation with a good friend who said, “My husband keeps telling me I need to spend more time playing.”

Her comment resonated with me, as my husband and some of my male friends have said the same to me.

While neither of us considers ourselves “playful,” we both like to have fun. While our definition of fun doesn’t include going to the playground or even adult playgrounds like golf courses, we agreed that our time together in conversation is something we both describe as fun, as are our trips to exotic places and visits to art museums. 

This conversation made me wonder, 

  • Do men and women define the words play and fun differently to themselves?
  • Or is play an extrovert term rather than a gendered term? 
  • Is one person’s play or fun, another’s work? For example, an introverted, detail-oriented person might find it fun to analyze spreadsheets, while an extrovert would describe this as work.

Are You a Journaler?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

I am told that people who like to express themselves in writing keep journals. I am not a journaler. I never have been. Yet, I like to write.

I was curious about this, so I asked some journalers and non-journalers why they journal. Here is what I learned.

My husband is an engineer by training, and he is also an artist. He designs and makes beautiful knives. He is also a fly fisherman, another form of artistry. He tells me he keeps a journal of both activities to track progress and preserve memories.

I have a friend who keeps a journal of poetry.

And I have another friend who keeps a journal of her travels.

Perhaps these Sunday Stories are my journal.

Webster defines a journal as “a record of experiences, ideas or reflections kept regularly for private use.” I found this definition unsatisfying and perhaps dated.

Do you write in a journal about something that matters to you? What is the reason you do it?

As The Leaves Begin to Fall…

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

The weather here turned cold today, ending what seemed to be an endless summer. As the leaves begin to fall and we transition to winter in the Northern climes, it reminds us of the cyclicality of life. Time to reflect on what has passed, celebrate our successes, and remind ourselves that whatever may have been our failures, we get an opportunity in the new year to begin again.

In my experience, putting some intentionality around what I want to happen increases my chances of looking back at this time next year and noticing and measuring progress and success. With that in mind, I offer the following questions to consider before the year comes to an end. 

  1. Was there a significant experience in the past year that impacted you? How did it affect you? Are you grateful? Relieved? Resentful? Inspired? 
  2. Is there something that you wish you had done differently this past year? Alternatively, is there something you are especially proud of from this past year?
  3. What is one thing you’d like to achieve by this time next year? Why is this important to you? 

Things (and people) Are Not Always As They Appear

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

I recently met with someone who came to our meeting with a lot of assumptions about me. It was a difficult meeting, and it reminded me of the dangers of the judgments we make, the judgments I make.

We make assumptions daily, mostly about other people. Our assumptions are like silent storytellers shaping our thoughts, beliefs, and actions daily. They are the shortcuts our minds take to navigate a complex world, helping us process information quickly.

At the same time, these beliefs can cause disagreements that weren’t there to begin with. And more importantly, they can cause us to miss out on a rich experience with another person.

  • We assume a person looks a certain way because…
  • We assume a person responded to us a certain way because…
  • We assume a person took action or didn’t take action because…

In a world that thrives on complexity, assumptions are both allies and adversaries. Striking the right balance, acknowledging their presence, and learning to use them judiciously can help us navigate the intricate web of life more effectively.

What if, instead of assuming, we paused and asked questions like:

  • What is the reason you made this choice or took this action?
  • What is going on in your day? What happened before our meeting?
  • What can I learn from you about what I want to know? What can I learn from you about me?

Cost or Benefit?

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Recently, I was in conversation with a few fellow coaches, and one of the members asked, “Describe a time that you took a stand and it cost you?”

Out of the six of us in the conversation, all but one shared a story that cost them their job. Wow!

And before that, I read a blog from another friend who asked the opposite question: “Have you ever done your very best to blend and morph to meet the mentalities in a room instead of showing up as 1000% yourself? 

So, which choice is a cost and which is a benefit? 

I have learned over the years that when “we” are responsible, rather than “I” am responsible, we all get a better outcome. 

And the fantastic days are when team members are engaged and authentic in creating the best day. And the ‘not so good days’ are when something is going awry, and no one says anything. 

Yet, there is no guarantee that the result of being fully engaged and authentic will result in a fantastic day or result in taking a stand that costs you. 

So instead, many of us (perhaps most?) choose silence. Does this come from a place of respect for the leader? After all, it is “their meeting”; it’s up to them to “fix it.” And when there is a series of “it’s up to him or her or them to fix it,” we can quickly go from a ‘not so good meeting,’ to a ‘not so good day’ or week and ultimately a ‘not so good outcome’ for the business.

All of us can be both leaders and followers in our daily lives. And sometimes, we need to step up and take a leadership role in the moment, even when we are not the official leader. The next time you are in one of these moments, here are a few questions to consider as you perform a cost/benefit analysis of the situation:

  1. If something is amiss in a meeting or a moment, and I stay silent, what is the potential cost to me, the group, or the business?
  2. If something is amiss and I speak up, what is the potential cost to me, the group, or the business? 
  3. In a fair and bold cost/benefit analysis, what is the best and bravest choice for me to make?

Celebrate Me Home Or Wanderlust…

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

Clients in transition have one goal in common: to live their purpose. And each person pursues this goal in their own unique way.

Most commonly, people choose to pursue their vision while physically staying in the place where they are.

On the other hand, for some, the draw is to explore; their pivot to something else may also include a desire to pivot somewhere else. And for those who currently live in a different place than where they came from, that somewhere else could be a return home. 

What drives these three choices? While different for each person following are some common themes I hear. 

Staying Put

  • My network is here
  • My family is here
  • My community is here
  • I am comfortable here
  • Moving is expensive

Wanderlust

  • I want to explore
  •  I want to experience other cultures
  •  I want personal growth
  •  I want to get out of my comfort zone
  •  It may be less costly to live somewhere else

Going Home

  • Nostalgia
  • My family is there
  • I feel a cultural attachment 
  • I feel a sense of belonging
  • Quality of life 

In the end, the choice is deeply personal. What resonates for you?

Labor Day’s Legacy

by Elisa Spain Comment Closed

The first nationally recognized Labor Day celebration was in 1894. The AFL claimed this day with a street parade sending a message of “the strength and esprit de corps of the trade and labor organizations.”

According to the BLS, union membership in the U.S. peaked in 1954 at almost 35%. By 1983, the share of U.S. workers who belonged to a union had fallen to 20.1%, and by 2022, membership had dropped to 10.1% of U.S. workers, declining from 10.3% in 2021. And 33% of union members are public employees.

Yet, nearly every day, we read about another vote for unionization by workers in well-known service companies.

Is the press giving us an unbalanced view, or is there a trend yet to emerge in the data?

Economists and human resource professionals tell us it’s the latter. Economists say prices are increasing faster than wages, and people are organizing because they can’t keep up. People often feel that being part of something gives them agency. Human resource professionals say that a lack of effective two-way communication leads to a lack of trust, leading to organizing.

Regardless of whether unionization is a trend, Labor Day is still with us. We celebrate it as the mark of the end of summer and the beginning of autumn. As with all transitions, it’s a time for reflection. In this case, it is an opportunity to reflect on how we show up.

  • As a leader, what can I do tomorrow to learn what drives each person on my team and create an environment where each person can pursue their passion while contributing to the team’s success?
  • As a follower, what can I do tomorrow to add additional value to the success of our company while being true to what matters to me?