The Power of Not Knowing

Many of us as leaders, especially new leaders, feel we must have all the answers. Some even feel a sense of shame when asked a question, by a client or an employee, and they don’t have the answer.

And, despite these feelings of inadequacy most of us have felt at one time or another, I also hear stories of the magic of saying “I don’t know”.

One of my favorite stories came from one of my clients who grew up in his family business.

I met this man ten years ago and before I knew him, he had worked every job in the company and truly had all the answers. In fact, he was the answer man. Everyone came to him when they needed help figuring out what to do next. This worked fine when he was on the line and even when he was the operations manager.

By the time I met him, he was president of the company and being the answer man wasn’t working so well. He was so focused on solving everyone’s problems and making sure everything was done right in the factory, that he was not doing the job of President. He wasn’t focused on strategy, nor was he meeting with customers, nor was he innovating or coaching (answering folks questions ≠ coaching).

One day after we had talked about his frustration in one of our coaching sessions, he had an idea. He decided starting today, when folks came to his office, he would begin saying “I don’t know”. At first his team became annoyed with him. Over time, they stopped asking.

Today his company is filled with competent executives that run their operations effectively. So effectively that the company has doubled in size and he works fewer hours than he did when the company was half its size.

For some of us, we actually don’t know, others, like this man, do.

In either case, what are we giving up by wanting to, trying to, have all the answers rather than allowing others discover the answers themselves?

Why Vistage Works

Elisa K. Spain

The Way

Most of us learned, “the way” early in life. Some of us learned it from our parents, some from our teachers or other adult role models. The way, we learnedwas the way they did it. We observed or they told us, how to live our lives; and in what order to do things. Typically it went something like this, get an education, get a job, get married, pursue/advance in a career, have kids, retire, enjoy our grandkids.

For some this may still be the way, and for more and more people, this is only one of many choices. Today we have more choices and for most of us, a longer time frame during which we might choose multiple ways. For example, I know a grandmother who became a lawyer in her 70’s; and recently heard about an architect who became a restaurant owner in her late 40’s.

So, as you think about your way, whatever stage of life and transition you are in, give some consideration to deciding first what is important to you and then choose the way that supports that.

For me, one of the driving reasons I chose to become an entrepreneur, 20 years ago, (after 20+ years in the corporate world) was flexibility. I wanted control over my day, I didn’t want to live on a schedule and as silly as it sounds today, I didn’t want to put on pantyhose every day. :-).

What drives you? And, are you living your life and career in a way that is consistent with that drive?

Why Vistage Works

Elisa K. Spain

 

 

Time to Make the Donuts

Dunkin’ Donuts ran this ad back in the 70’s and even those born since then, resonate with the concept “time to make the donuts”, as in, get up, get ready, get to work, do the work, go home, start again tomorrow.

Whether working in the factory or working as an executive, it’s easy to fall into the habit of doing, problem solving, doing some more, and then starting again. The good part of this is, we get sh*t done. The challenge is, we sometimes lose sight of the why, i.e. our purpose.

Whether it’s our personal why or our company why that drives us, before we crash into ourselves coming and going, as in the last frame of the ad, perhaps it’s time to stop and ask “why did I choose to start this donut making business, or work for this particular donut making business and why are we making these particular donuts”?

Why Vistage Works

Elisa K. Spain

Begin At The Very Beginning

I am often in conversation with people I coach where the person is focused on action. I hear things like…

  • I am experiencing turnover, what can I do to stop or reduce it?
  • Not sure if my people feel valued or are contributing to their full potential?
  • We have a diverse group, wondering how do I get them to bond and behave like a team?

Much has been written including various techniques to answer these questions. While these are important questions, and I am sure techniques for monitoring and evaluating these challenges are valuable, for me, it is difficult to address these issues without a pause. For me, asking these questions is starting in the middle rather than starting at the beginning.

If we were to start at the beginning, these are questions I would ask:

  • What is the purpose of this team or workgroup?
  • What do I as the leader expect, what is my vision of success?
  • Do I and the team have a shared vision of success?

Once these questions are answered, then we can begin to address the questions above. For example,

  • Does each member of the team understand and support the team purpose?
  • Does the team feel ownership for the project or work effort?
  • Did the people who exited fit the team purpose? If so, did they understand it?
  • Do the team members need each other to succeed, or are they actually a workgroup with individual expectations?

There are many more questions to add to the second list, and the answers only become useful when we begin at the very beginning.

Why Vistage Works

Elisa K. Spain