January Reflections Part II – Bold Subtraction

As January draws to a close, and we perhaps reflect on the goals we set, perhaps even create a new habit or two like Jerry Seinfeld (January Reflections Part I), is it also time to reflect on the nature of our goals?

Most of us tend to think in terms of additions.

  • What new thing do we want to do?
  • Where do we want to go?
  • What new accomplishments do we want to achieve?

The challenge with adding, and not subtracting is, for most of us, there simply isn’t room. So, before you give up and join the ranks of folks exiting the gym before Valentine’s Day; or simply stop setting goals, as one of my clients recently said, “I put the same things on my goal list every year, seems silly to bother”, is it time to consider instead, a bold subtraction?

Here are some questions that may help answer the bold subtraction question:

  • What did I give only my time, and not my passion, to last year?
  • How does this answer compare to previous years?
  • If my passion/time ratio has declined, what do I need to do or learn to change this? Do I have the desire to make the energy and or $$ investment to do so?
  • If I boldly subtracted this passionless activity from my life, am I willing to go bravely forward not knowing, rather discovering, what I will replace it with?

Why Vistage Works

Elisa K. Spain

January Reflections Part I – A Temporal Moment

I just finished reading Dan Pink’s latest book, When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing, which likely explains why I am focused on the meaning of January.  January 1, no surprise, is a temporal moment and Dan’s research supports this. We make resolutions on January 1, and for those of us who belong to a gym, we witness the end of those resolutions, sometime around Valentine’s Day.

Yet, for those amongst us who focus on both what and whenaccording to Dan, we are more likely to turn a “resolution” into a commitment.  I love the simple story Dan shares about Jerry Seinfeld’s writing habit. Jerry writes daily, he doesn’t judge the daily writing he just does it.  Jerry prints out the calendar for the entire year and each day, he puts a big X on the day to mark off the writing. And, after a time, he has so many X’s he is committed. Research says, 21 days is what it takes to create a habit. Jerry say’s it looking at all those X’s, the chain it creates, that inspires him.

Dan also tells us that midpoints matter. Today is about midway from resolution beginning to likely ending, close enough, to ask yourself these questions:

  • What did you promise yourself you would do for yourself this year?
  • Is this promise still top of mind?
  • If not, is it something you still want?
  • If these promises matter to you, what actions are you willing take to turn them from resolutions to habits that extend beyond Valentine’s Day?
  • What is your equivalent of Jerry’s writing habit that you are willing to monitor with a calendar of “X’s”?

Why Vistage Works

Elisa K. Spain

It’s All About The Ride

Occasionally there are small moments in life that leave a lasting impact. As I think about my intentions for the new year, I am reminded of one of those small incidents, years ago. I was sitting on a bench at the old Union Station. An old man sat down next to me and we engaged in conversation. I asked him where he was headed and he replied with glee, “San Francisco!”

“Wow”, I said, “that is a long way to go on the train.” His reply: “There is as much fun in getting there as there is in being there.”

This man’s answer has stayed with me and I often think of him in these situations:

  • When I am too focused on getting to the outcome
  • When it’s time to pause
  • When it’s time to remember to be in the moment

In The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World, by Desmond Tutu and Dalai Lama, these two amazing seers, inspire us with their tales of being in the moment and experiencing joy, even in the face of adversity.

I wonder if my traveling acquaintance, from many years ago, realized that he had seized on the secret to joy.

Perhaps something to consider in the new year?

Why Vistage Works

Elisa K. Spain